Actions speak louder than words.
 

The subject line is a quote that we often hear in this forum as well as Alanon.
I'd like you all to stop a minute and really think about this topic for today. I want you to not just see the actions that prove the negative - but think of the actions that do prove the positive. Not just from the A in your life, but from others. Sometimes we get so bogged down that I think we don't see what is around us.
Add in another measure though - stop and really think about the actions that you give!!! Do you show the positive? Not just to the A in your life, but to those that are around you in your everyday life?
It's easy for us to kick back and scream "Actions Speak Louder than words!!!" and want our A's to prove that love, that promise, etc to us - but we need to look at our actions as well. If actions speak louder than words - what is it that we are speaking to others?

Just something for you all to ponder ;)

I've actually pondered exactly what your talking about. I will admit when I'm honest with myself sometimes my actions not there when I give my word, but in general, I'm known to be a man of my word. Even my ex stated that very recently when we were still on speaking terms, while we both pretty much know she is not a person who keeps her word generally.

Anyhow, I think I personally scream "action speaks louder then words" many times more because a barely recoverying A is still going to be lying and not honest to themselves or with others, so it is very and extra often more that the A will say things they never keep or mean. Things that really can hurt those in relationships with them, they say what is ideal but when it comes time to test they dont stand up to their words as an unusually high rate.

The same way they give an unusual abuse level both emotionally and for guys physically, is the same way they give an unusual amount of lyes or lack of action to backup their words.

Sure the rest of the world can suffer this here or there like the A's, but the thing about just recoverying A's or even dry drunks of many years is they really have this characteristics common among the general mass, sure, not 100%, but pretty close IN MY OPINION.

This is why its extra pointed out for A's. They are not the only ones that can do the wrongs they do, yes, but you can almost surely place bets on any dry drunk or A that they have this characteristic in them! Where in the normal world, you pick a random person and you may or may not find such extreme poor character in them. The stats are unusually high for A is my point of why people really notice it.

Those around the A's arent crazy for thinking so in my opinion. Cheers

actions do speak louder than words. for myself i started to really look at who was in my life. those i felt close to and those i really felt ill at ease with. and most of those who made me feel ill at ease, also brought with them choices that made my actions questionable. so i got rid of them.

life is too short to be wasted on regrets. it is meant to be a journey towards making our actions match our thoughts and all of that is supposed to align with what our HP had in mind for us all along.

we werent born contradictory. we learned it. but just as we learned it, we can relearn healthier choices, healthier reactions, healthier actions.

so actions do speak louder than words.... but do you know what? to me... as we awaken from the dream state of realizing what our reality is vs what we thought it was... our actions align themselves to our new found self esteem, self worth, self driven ambitions and heart. it gets easier. it truly does. but you have to work it, to see where our HP is guiding us.

Yes you do have to work at it! Great topic Standing!

Way back when I started this program, did a 4th step and realized what my part was I was blown away. I was as bad as they were!

I wasn't in a position to say my amends at that time but I changed my actions. I changed my behaviors. I stopped being all knowing, argumentative and controlling and it took the pressure off the entire household.

Hugs,
JT

After I post something which will indicate actions speak louder than words, it usually comes back to haunt me. I'm advising, suggesting, telling and there are times I haven't done it myself. Than I become ashamed because I haven't shared what I've done which is always my intent. I'll then make it a point to live by my words so that I can put out the action to fit my words. Bass Ackwards, ain't it?