findinganewme

It's almost funny (and there's nothing funny about being an alcoholic) ..... but has anyone seen how many of us have met our (forget the term used here), I'll use lover, in a DAMN BAR![I]

EternalHope

Findingme, just stay strong! I finally ended the relationship with my boys' A father after three nightmarish years and two pregnancies that were totally not normal. My boys were three months old and 20 months old. The thoughts I kept having over and over that finally gave me strength were "Do I want my children growing up in this dysfunction?" "Do I want them growing up seeing that this is how men treat women, and have them treat thier women like this?" I'm not saying it was easy at all, and I was not always as strong as I am now, but looking back it was the best decision I think I've ever made. Keep in mind that this too, shall pass, and he may reappear in your life, but you will be stronger for having taken a stand. I didn't grow up in an A home, but I never really learned to put my feelings first. Another great thing I realized is that in order to give love, you have to first love yourself, and I couldn't love myself when I was a doormat. Good luck to you!

EternalHope

P.S. I met mine in a damn bar. HAHAHA I told myself it was ok, because we were both working there at the time. And now, sometimes I wonder if he has more alcohol issues or if he is just seriously out of touch with reality.

equus

I met my husband at uni - but he was drunk and that meant I was unwilling to be any more than a friend. I was a friend because he was also a remarkable person.

Years later he was rarely drunk, years later he had a life and became a remarkable person fighting alcoholism. The moment I knew this would be the man I'd stay with he was sober, sat cross legged on the sofa, reading Intellingent Systems for Programmers, with Dido blasted in his ear (I had it turned up to dance in the kitchen while cooking). It was his peace, his independence to be doing his own thing, his LACK of asking me to turn down the music or blame it for not being able to read a book, the way he was sat with his legs crossed and daft (too big) feet sticking out. Most of all it was the relisation I'd never met a man I'd liked as much nor one I'd loved so much.

I know why; it's because such a person is hard to find.

Sat on the porch of a Youth Hostel D says he's worried the kettle is on a low shelf when there are children running about - everyone agrees but it's D who gets back up to move it. An older couple lose their cool bag with their food in, they ask if anyone has seen it and we all say 'no' but it's D who goes to help them look for it and finds it. On a walk one of the group has spent too long in the loo, the rest of the group moan about waiting, D goes back to look and show the other guy where we are.

I remember a quote from Alice Walker's 'The Color Purple'
Because D doesn't, he stops to photograph the mushrooms, violets, the insects, butterflies, caterpillers, even the markings on the stone, because even only owning a camera for 6 months his photographs open people's eyes to see beauty where they didn't notice before.

Last of all because with his powerful deep voice and northern old fashioned accent he's the only man alive who sounds sincere when he calls me 'Me lady'.

He's an alcoholic but he's my husband not my 'A'.

chrisea

what appears to be, that alot met at a bar, after doing a quick tally ~ 11 met at a bar, 3 at a party or where alcohol is served alot, and 22 met at work, thru friends, school, online. It does seem, like alot of people realized, that this person drank alot, no matter where they met them.

CodeMaster

As I keep getting flashbacks in memory seeing all the signs of alcoholism, I am realizing from the very very first day how this girl (whom I met thru a friend at a club/bar) was able to drink so heavily. She out drank me easily, I just thought she had a talented high tolerance.

Mixed with me desperate to find a replacement from the girl I just broke up with, we were a match! Though great hardship, I cant help but think it was worth it to learn the things I've learned now. An truly life changing experience... sad, but also a sight of light from a far with great hopes!

yankeegirl13

I met my X-ABF in a bar through friends. I actually was interested in his brother at first. But once I got to know him I didn't like him much( too into himself, a player, and drugs). In the mean time I became good friends with his brother (my X-ABF). Then next thing you know I started to like him. I fell for his personality. He was nice, sensitive, warm, kind and he was cute too. However, the funny thing is I would never date someone like him. He was just into opposite things than I was and I knew he had some issues. He also was a big P** head and I hated P**. When I was in high school I wouldn't talk to my firends if they smoked it. My standards use to be very high before I met him. My friends use to make fun at me because I was so picky. So for the first time in my life I let my standards and expectations down and look what I end up with. I do believe the past is the past. And until this past year, I did believe that everybody changes, but I am not completely sure on that one any longer. Thats why I went ahead and gave it a chance. Things were good for awhile, all the way up until we got enganged. Then it all SLOWLY started to go down hill. I really didn't think he had a drinking problem at first. I knew he was in the bars all the time, but I just thought he was because all his friends were. So when we started to date he cut back on the drinking a lot. He was still drinking every night, but I just thought with time he would be able to stop all together. I didn't know what an alcoholic was until this past year. I thought an alcoholic was someone who drank all day and night. Boy was I wrong!! All I know is I am going back to my old ways.....
HIGH STANDARDS, HIGH EXPECTATIONS AND VERY, VERY PICKY!!!!!!! :bravo