Courage of letting go
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Chaos City
Posts: 605
Courage of letting go
My dad called lastnight, my brother had four seizures yesterday and one the night before. He has been in the hospital since Easter weekend, he has been in and out of ICU unite three times now since Easter weekend.
January 19th 2004 as many of you know my life has changed forever, my brother decided to take his own life, it has been a year and three months now, and he has spent most of it in a hospital.
I am going to see him this weekend, Guys, I dont want him to die, but I also dont want him to be in this much pain anymore, I am sure the doctors are making him as comfortable as they can.
He has a feeding tube and a ton of synthetic drugs keeping him alive. His petuitary gland is non-functioning, his hypothalmus is non-functioning, he has to take hormones daily to regulate his temperature, his sodium level, it has affected his digestive system and that is why he throws up so much and then aspirates. There is just so many things. I know that my brother would not want to live like this, If there was hope
Mentally, my brother hallucinates, is fishing in the middle of the hallway, is telling me to get off his wire or off his line, he is not capable of any self care.
God is keeping him here for a reason right??
Courage of letting go, love him enough to set him free this will be my prayer.
January 19th 2004 as many of you know my life has changed forever, my brother decided to take his own life, it has been a year and three months now, and he has spent most of it in a hospital.
I am going to see him this weekend, Guys, I dont want him to die, but I also dont want him to be in this much pain anymore, I am sure the doctors are making him as comfortable as they can.
He has a feeding tube and a ton of synthetic drugs keeping him alive. His petuitary gland is non-functioning, his hypothalmus is non-functioning, he has to take hormones daily to regulate his temperature, his sodium level, it has affected his digestive system and that is why he throws up so much and then aspirates. There is just so many things. I know that my brother would not want to live like this, If there was hope
Mentally, my brother hallucinates, is fishing in the middle of the hallway, is telling me to get off his wire or off his line, he is not capable of any self care.
God is keeping him here for a reason right??
Courage of letting go, love him enough to set him free this will be my prayer.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 5,691
oh emily - this has got to be so very rough for you. yes - this is a different type of letting go then we are used to but i guess the concept is the same. we can't control the outcome that our hp has planned. i pray for peace for you and your family - also that your brother is not in pain.
Extra hugs for you today - chris
Extra hugs for you today - chris
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Where the sun always shines!
Posts: 1,625
Chris is right - we can't control the outcome out HP has planned for us.
Loving enough to let go is a hard choice, but one that will, in turn, give us peace.
Send prayers for peace......
(((((Emily)))))
Loving enough to let go is a hard choice, but one that will, in turn, give us peace.
Send prayers for peace......
(((((Emily)))))
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