Confused!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Ashland City, TN
Posts: 28
Confused!!
Good morning all!! I'm so confused and need a little help. My AH went to his first AA meeting last night. He is so angry. I told him not to go because of me. I told him that he needed to go because he wanted to change his life. Friday night all hell broke loose in my home and I had to leave to find a safe place for my 2 children. Saturday, I called him and told him that he needed to leave and let me bring my older son (who has muscular dystrophy) and our baby back to their home where I could take care of them in their own environment. My son is in really bad shape. He can't feed himself unless he's at my house. My AH told me that if I came home he would leave us alone. Then when I get back home he wouldn't leave. He has slept on the couch since then. I told him that I would file for a divorce if he didn't get professional help. That's the only reason he attended the AA meeting. Saturday he was telling me that he is an alcoholic and yesterday he's acting like I'm crazy and he angry with me. Why? Why do I feel quilty?
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
Or maybe he's angry at himself and taking it out on you? He will only get help if he wants to, not because YOU want him to.
Welcome to SR - you'll find loads of good advice and support here. You'll learn the 3 Cs - you didn't Cause it, you can't Control it and you can't Cure it.
If you are able to go, al-anon meetings will help enormously. I think you can find the number in the phone book.
Keep yourself and your kiddies safe - that's the most important thing here. Especially your older son - don't let him suffer because of the actions of your husband.
Keep coming back here - looking forward to getting to know you.
Love
Minnie
xxx
Welcome to SR - you'll find loads of good advice and support here. You'll learn the 3 Cs - you didn't Cause it, you can't Control it and you can't Cure it.
If you are able to go, al-anon meetings will help enormously. I think you can find the number in the phone book.
Keep yourself and your kiddies safe - that's the most important thing here. Especially your older son - don't let him suffer because of the actions of your husband.
Keep coming back here - looking forward to getting to know you.
Love
Minnie
xxx
Putting it all together
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: St. Louis, MO.
Posts: 469
Originally Posted by kimmyf1965
Good morning all!! I'm so confused and need a little help. My AH went to his first AA meeting last night. He is so angry. I told him not to go because of me. I told him that he needed to go because he wanted to change his life. Friday night all hell broke loose in my home and I had to leave to find a safe place for my 2 children. Saturday, I called him and told him that he needed to leave and let me bring my older son (who has muscular dystrophy) and our baby back to their home where I could take care of them in their own environment. My son is in really bad shape. He can't feed himself unless he's at my house. My AH told me that if I came home he would leave us alone. Then when I get back home he wouldn't leave. He has slept on the couch since then. I told him that I would file for a divorce if he didn't get professional help. That's the only reason he attended the AA meeting. Saturday he was telling me that he is an alcoholic and yesterday he's acting like I'm crazy and he angry with me. Why? Why do I feel quilty?
Very simple answer to your question....."WHY DO I FEEL GUILTY"......he is sick. HE is the alcoholic....you feel like you should be able to help...you cannot. He is being manipulating...get a restraining order, if you have to,I did against my brother and MOM. YEP, my MOM.....They try and blame it on you...they make you feel like YOU have done something to deserve their CRAP......NOPE...you haven't.....re-read your own post, please. You have a baby wiith MD??? You need to take care of your kids and he needs to get to REHAB.....as fast as he can...probably doesn't think so. Sleeping on the couch is just ruining the furniture.....temporary solution.....do something and MAKE him leave you alone....you deserve better....I have already done this and it does NOT get better....only with a coke addict.....FUN.......I hope you really re-read your post....you sound so desperate and a little angry... I do not blame you.....get him out now......LOVE DOES NOT HURT......Kahlia
Dancing To My Own Beat
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: I don't know what kind of state I'm in
Posts: 1,326
Hi Kimmy,
Welcome. Alcoholism is a family problem. It affected my thinking, my self worth. It was very hard for me to take care of myself. I didn't think I was important. I almost died because I allowed alcoholism to consume and isolate me to the point that I felt like giving up.
At that point, I knew that I needed help. I didn't want to die, but I didn't see any way out. Al-Anon saved my life and my sanity. I was desperate to find something to help me out of the pit I felt I was being swallowed up by.
I learned that reaching out for help was the first step in living again. Humans aren't equipped to be lonely for very long. Our spirit dies. Reaching out helps us gain the strenght to go on. Finding a way to recover from the effects of alcoholism gave me a way to find peace and serenity in the midst of the storm.
Whether the alcoholic finds recovery or not, we are sick too. We need help to learn to love ourself and take care of ourself. I couldn't wait for him to get ok. I needed to get better with or without him. There is help. We don't have to be alone. We can find understanding and healing. It's out there. All we have to do is be willing to reach out.
Stick around. SR has helped me a lot in my recovery. There is a lot of understanding and support here. When and if you are ready, there are Al-Anon meetings in your area. There is counselling. There are options. Hugs, Magic
To find a meeting in your area:http://www.al-anon-alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html
Welcome. Alcoholism is a family problem. It affected my thinking, my self worth. It was very hard for me to take care of myself. I didn't think I was important. I almost died because I allowed alcoholism to consume and isolate me to the point that I felt like giving up.
At that point, I knew that I needed help. I didn't want to die, but I didn't see any way out. Al-Anon saved my life and my sanity. I was desperate to find something to help me out of the pit I felt I was being swallowed up by.
I learned that reaching out for help was the first step in living again. Humans aren't equipped to be lonely for very long. Our spirit dies. Reaching out helps us gain the strenght to go on. Finding a way to recover from the effects of alcoholism gave me a way to find peace and serenity in the midst of the storm.
Whether the alcoholic finds recovery or not, we are sick too. We need help to learn to love ourself and take care of ourself. I couldn't wait for him to get ok. I needed to get better with or without him. There is help. We don't have to be alone. We can find understanding and healing. It's out there. All we have to do is be willing to reach out.
Stick around. SR has helped me a lot in my recovery. There is a lot of understanding and support here. When and if you are ready, there are Al-Anon meetings in your area. There is counselling. There are options. Hugs, Magic
To find a meeting in your area:http://www.al-anon-alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Ashland City, TN
Posts: 28
Thanks for listening
I've been checking out lots of the old threads. I'm so happy to find out that I'm not alone. I discoved this site while looking for information on Alcoholics. I'm so glad I stumbled on to this site. Thanks for the responses.
Kim
Kim
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