admitit

MY Sister is currently sitting in a jail cell. Possible she will be arranged tomorrow. 9am. (it is NOT the first time she got a DUI...it's in fact the 3rd.) When will she wake up?

She's just about devistated Mom this last arguement..."Mom is never there for her... and was the terrible driving force in her life and the reason she is the way she is...Mom never gave her enough attention!" Should I go on... Of course you all have heard it a million times it's just SOOOooo difficult to see it and hear when it's someone you shared a bedroom with for almost half your life.

Here's the question...With my job I was able to pull strings and find out her court date. Should I show up...???

sac1976

She is responsible for her recovery. Has she tried AA?

admitit

Not yet. I know she went to church AA meetings a few years back (But ended up strategically turning her problems onto everyone else and not the drinking.) But for now I'm not sure what she's thinking. I hope she's ready. WE are. That's why were looking into stuff. Mom's going to her first Alanon meeting (near her home) on Friday. I'm a wayz away. So I'm looking around.
Thanks,

oncewaslost

she sounds just like me a few yrs ago...i spent many yrs blaming others for the way i was...all the love in the world couldnt make me change....ultimately i had to accept responsibility for my actions and my recovery...im sure you already know...theres not anything u can say or do to make her better...she has to want it...maybe she hasn't reached her bottom yet...others told me how i was killing myself and ruining my life...none of that did me any good until i hit my bottom....what may look like bottom to u may not be the bottom for her yet....that was my experience...all u can do is pray for her safety and love her

FriendofBill

More importantly than has she tried AA..

HAVE YOU TRIED AL-ANON?

bluester

Think this is me! A carbon copy anyway. Agree with what is said there.
One other question. Does your sister want you at her court date? Does she know that you know?

JT

I am so glad your Mom is going to go to Al Anon. I am a mom and have heard all the garbage about it being my fault and it is hurtful. It took me a lot of hard work to not accept responsibilty. Being a mother is guilt ridden enough in the best of times. But in Al Anon I learned that I did the best I could with what I had at the time...when I knew better I did better.

I tell my son today to get over it...he is an adult now and is in control of his life. If he chooses to live it in jail that is his choice...not my fault. I also no longer listen to it and because I stopped participating in those tirades they have pretty much stopped. He is more respectful.

This can all apply to you, too. Your sister is living her life the way she is choosing to. She is nobody's victim. My son has 5 DUI's and has spent time in prison...and still he wants to play victim. Sorry, but I am not biting anymore. The real victim is the person he could kill while he makes bad choices.

(((Hugs)))
JT