wraybear

I went to bed last night thinking he is going to die. He is out on the streets again, (with $2000 cash!! YIKES) and I had stomach ache thinking he is going to die.

Woke up this morning with the realization, how arrogant of me. If he started coming around here, seeing me, seeing the kids, everything would be okay again. How arrogant of me to think that I can help him not die? I guess this is where the "can't cure it" comes in to play. Not that I felt THAT powerful, but I guess I had this silly dream that if he would start being an active husband and father again, everything would fall into place.

Fantasy world. 17 years of fantasy world. It is time to wake up.

quietsins

what seemed hardest to me to accept is that.. they truly do not learn in the same way we do. for myself it seemed that my A would start to learn something that was painful, and instead of working thru it, he would hide from it in the bottle.

we truly are at different places in learning and life. and i see the A road as being a lot slower and more painful in learning. doesnt mean that you both cant end up at the same place if they have a program, but i see it as a very long shot. the odds arent good.

i always thought if only he would quit drinking, then we could patch up what was wrong. but i realize now, he has years and years and years of patching up to do, before he ever met me. and i cant control that. so we have no road together.

if you are just waking up... good morning. its a beautiful day that your HP has provided to you. and its full of promise and beauty and life.

hope this helped,
quietsins

Gabe

Quiet, that's beautiful.
It's copied and printed so I can read it every morning.
Thanks.

Magichappens

((wray))
When I surrendered that alcoholic to my Higher Power, I had to grieve. I had to say "Your will, even if that means death." Very hard. Surrender always is.

Before I could surrender, I bargained. I ran every deal through my head until I ended up at the dead end. Again, very painful. My surrender was preceded by having a screaming fit at God, cursing and yelling. How could it be fair that I had to let go of my heart? In the end, I found peace. Praying for your peace soon. Hugs, Magic

JessicaNAJ

(((((())))))

I wish you peace for today.

Jessica

cwohio

((wray)) no other words but that i am thinking about you!

FaithChaser

((((Wray)))),

Would someone that is arrogant ever think that they are? I dunno but I know the feeling of thinking that something is all under my control, to my detriment.

My thoughts and prayers are with you!

Hugs,

~FaithChaser

CodeMaster

Let go, start living again, I hope you have a beautiful and peaceful weekend. Your in my thoughts...