Magichappens

Living with alcoholism affects everyone involved. The alcoholic suffers from a malady that for some reason causes them to drink, regardless of the consequences. The family, with the best of intentions, focusses on fixing the problem in the family. As the problem gets worse, instead of better, each person becomes more desperate to fix it. The alcoholic, driven to continue drinking, fights outside influence to stop. This is the viscious cycle of the family disease of alcoholism.

This viscious cycle seems to warp the thinking of all involved. We become obsessed with another persons actions and thoughts. In the process, we lose ourself. We stop living life, and begin trying to control life. This is where my sickness is centered.

My recovery began when I surrendered to the idea that I could not control alcoholism. I can't cure it. I didn't cause it. I realized that I had crossed the line of love, into obsession. I became lost, fearful, and purposeless. One day, I realized I couldn't go on living like that. I surrendered.

Surrender is such an ugly thought. At the time, I didn't know the paradox of surrender to win. The first step in Al-Anon, "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable" was the first step in finding healing, wholeness and peace. What seemed like defeat was the death of my old life, and the beginning of a new one.

The steps are a simple guideline for inner healing and wholeness. They relieved me of the thought process which took me to the depth of misery. It is a lifelong, wonderful journey that began with a small amount of willingness. The willingness to take the focus off the alcoholic, and put it on myself. I have found that it works in every situation, every problem, and every crisis in my life.

I don't have all the answers. But I have found a process that helps me to find each answer as I need it. There is no way to describe the metamorphisis that the steps have in one's life. It would be like trying to describe color to a person born blind. I just know that it has worked for me. I'm nobody special. I was just a someone suffering from the family disease.

If you are at the end of your rope, and are willing to try something to help you feel whole, sane, and useful, what have you got to lose by trying this route? Hugs, Magic

cwohio

thanks magic - i have not started to "work the steps" yet after being in al-anon for 8 months. i truly believe i need to do this. i believe i will go to a step meeting this monday. thank you for the "push"!

bluester

Magichappens you always know what to say. I have great respect for you. Thanks for posting. I have decided enough is enough. Time to go to AlAnon. I can't lose by trying the route you mentioned either.

sassygal

Thanks Magic - what an awesome post!!

gelfling

Dear Magic,

I wondered where you were. Glad you're back and decided to post such an awesome message. I, for years, did not work the steps. I now know that I personally need to do them.

Surrendering...so very very hard to do and causes me great pain, but after I do it, I feel as if a burden has been lifted from my heart.

Thanks for your wisdom and inspiration.

Blessings

JessicaNAJ

I'm still working on Step 4 and sometimes I have to go back to the beginning. Thank you for your post. It was good to hear from you!!!

splendra

((((Magic))))

Your post are always packed full of information, compassion and, eloquence and this one is no expection. I bet you help many others to consider working the steps today!

JT

Willingness is the the key that opens the door to peace in our lives. That means we don't have to do one thing...all we need to do is be willing to consider it.

Our lives are unmanagable...we wouldn't be here if that was not true. Admitting that and accepting it are two different things entirely. When I hit the doors of Al Anon I knew with certainty that my life was unmanagable. I was sick physically and spiritually but even then it took some time for me to admit that. I wasn't ready to give up my illusion of control.

Thanks Magic!
JT

osier59

Thanks Magic. There was a step study that started awhile back. I've considered starting it again, but with a separate thread for each step so people could participate at whatever level they are ready for.

What do you think?

Barb

Magichappens

A step study would be wonderful. I know that Naranon has one. Maybe we could do one here. Even the willingness to look at the steps and read about them is a willingness. I'd like to give it a try. Hugs, Magic

osier59

OK then. I'll get it started today.

Hugs
Barb

cwohio

barb - boy that sounds wonderful!!!! i will be looking forward to seeing the step study soon!

hugs - chris

newbeginings

I would love a step study. My alanon group doesn't do step work. I'm trying to do the step 4 book on my own, but it is slow going. I would appreciate guidance from those who have already gone through the steps. You all teach me so much, and I still have so much more to learn.