drgnfly30

Do you ever find yourself thankful that your loved one is addicted to one thing over another..

I find myself reading some posts or watching TV shows like Intervention or the HBO docs (Dope Sick Love for example) & thinking "Thank god H is only a drunk & not a _______ (insert meth addict, gambler, herion addict etc..) I just couldn't deal with that!!"

Or the opposite - like I also find myself thinking why can't he just drink beer instead of Jim Beam... I'm JEALOUS that someone has a 'lesser' addiction?! Like there is an addiction hierchy!!

Is it just the "grass is greener on the other side" mentality? Tell me I'm not alone in the crazy thoughts!!

Beautiful

Before I understood addictive personality, my H was addicted to the Bill Clinton trials. They lasted 1 year, they were on every single television in our house at the same time, and he only spoke about them. He's not in any profession that this would affect so the whole thing was absurd to me. Still is.

I get it now and would probably have left him if I would've understood what was really going on at the time.

Who knew?

newbeginings

My 1st H was a meth addict, my 2nd H is an A. To be fair, he had been sober for 4 years when we started dating. I thought he was "cured." ha ha - what did I know? Anyway, the meth was much more money (thousands every month), was totally illegal just to have it, and I was always expecting him to stick the needle in his arm & die. He's still around 30 years later & still smokes pot. I truly believe that was worse than drinking, but then my H drinks at home - little money, no other women, no chance of DUI. So I guess that wouldn't be true for everyone.

gelfling

I totally understand. I can stand next to a person who is chunkier (notice I said chunky and not fat!!!) and say, darn I'm glad I'm not as big as they are. And wouldn't you know it? God heard me and I'm catching up.

My AH went through a stage where he drank whiskey instead of beer and thought he had graduated to a better class of people and wasn't a drunk like those who chugged beer. Funny too, isn't.

I think it's normal to have those thoughts. But if we don't compare ourselves to the outside, our lives can be pretty nasty.

JT

I am still looking (or maybe I should create) the bumper sticker that reads
MY ALKIE COULD RUN DOWN YOUR ADDICT

I have had a lot of those conversations over the years because I have a son with 5 (count them) DUI's. But I have also lost my grandson's mother to a heroin overdose.

JT

hopeforme

I have a partner who suffers from sex addiction along with alcohol addiction - I have often wanted - in th emoment - to trade one for another - depending which is rearing its ugly head - I have often said that I felt sex addicition hurts a partner in a far deeper core way - at the centre of your being and yet in the midst of a terrible drunken episode I would opt to trade. ALL addiction is horrible gut wrenching and devestating.

elizabeth1979

Haha ! I do that too! I am with you completely

equus

I sort of know what you mean, I think the same when I hear other people's husbands being abusive, I'd rather deal with alcoholism than that and I've no idea how someone deals with both.

I suppose I've never really thought about D being hooked on anything else. My friends words rang loudly in me when she said he wasn't even the party hard type. While other young lads partied on a substances mildly addictive to them (alcohol) it seemed to have the same effect on him as heroin - at least in terms of addiction. He had his part to play and his share in the responsibility but by the time he knew he was already completely hooked. As for markers for someone likely to become addicted he had the lot - yep, each and every one but some have only come to light recently and the alcoholism in his family was his extended not immediate family.

I look at the damage it's done, I see his shame and guilt over it, I watch him still fighting it, I know what he's lost to it - what blows my mind is that he has fought it, I think I'd have given up. All in all I just can't imagine him on any other drug, he has very strong (ironic) views about taking 'drugs'. If alcohol had been illegal - no... I don't want to imagine the life he could have had. Things are as they are.

Aquiana

Abf is an a with a pinch of gambler in him. One thing I've always been thankful for is that he's non violent. I'm grateful that at the very least I don't live in fear of physical violence. Thank goodness he never got into any other drugs but booze.

I have caught myself thinking quite a few times that I wish he smoked instead. A smoker I could live with or could I? I thought about it, money wise he could probably spend more money smoking than he does on booze depending on how much he smoked. Cigs are over $10 here so a pack a day, $70 a week. 2 packs a day, $140 a week. Health problems? Tonnes possibly. Not as mind altering? It sure is when you're trying to quit.

I guess an addiction is an addiction. I wish he had none.

drgnfly30

Holy Smokes Aquiana! See what I mean!?! My H gets a carton of Marlboro Lights for about $30 - $3 a pack.... if he had to pay $10 a pack I'd freak out!!

JT I think I want one of your Bumper Stickers... I want mine to say "My A is better than your A!"

JennyK

My husband also gambled. THAT will never happen again. If I ever find out that he gambled away MY money again, I will divorce him....in a second.

The drinking. Well, obviously that is an addiction I am willing to work with.

Jenny

Aquiana

Sick huh? They are creeping closer and closer to $11 a pack every day. Smoking is becoming a ridiculously expensive thing to do. A six pack of beer can be about $7 which is usually the most abf goes in a normal night. If he smoked on top of it, ouch!