sassygal

I have so many questions. I am new to Alanon and all of this. Does everyone in Alanon need a sponsor and if so, for what reason? Is there anyone out there who has separated from their husband after he became sober and ended up back together and happier afterwards? We are talking now and he seems to be honest with me, and says we are separating because things just need to change. We have a 15 year-old daughter and have differences in the way she is to be disciplined. I find he is too hard on her, but then I also see my mistakes - since he is so hard on her, I feel I need to make up for some of his harshness. I am working on my problems, but it seems like we always argue about the same things.

walkingtheline

Sassy, there are lots of people here with lots of stories. I suggest you read all you can--you'll be amazed that you really aren't alone in this, others are, or have been exactly where you are.

Many here are much more experienced with Alanon than I, but I have found my sponsor to be a FABULOUS guide and someone who can spot my "slipping" long before I am aware. She gently says something that makes me think and gets me back on the right road. I'd be floundering, I think, without her support.

There are many many threads here about children and discipline and there are certainly what seem like MILLIONS about "argueing about the same old things". These are both things that many have "been there/done that".
Just remember, if you keep doing the same things you can't expect different results!

So, check all the posts out...hang out with us...I'll bet you'll see your own life in the posts of others and learn a great deal from the many responses.

And Welcome!

Magichappens

Hi Sassygal,
Glad you could join us. Because Al-Anon is a voluntary program, each person finds their own tools that work best for them. Recovery is an individual journey, aided by the experience, strength, and hope of others. Sponsorship is a tool of Al-Anon. Finding someone who has experience using the tools of the program is a great advantage, since our own experiences before coming to Al-Anon differ greatly with the new things we are trying. A sponsor is like a teacher or guide. They can help us find our own peace and serenity without forcing their own views and beliefs on us.

There is a great pamphlet on sponsorship. If your group has a literature rack, pick one up. The pamphlets are free. There is also a section in the book "How Al-Anon Works." If you don't have the book, you can find it at your group. This may help clarify the what and why of sponsorship. You can decide if this is a tool that might be of help to you.

Sponsors can be very beneficial, but since there are no musts in Al-Anon, no one dictates what you, as an individual, should or shouldn't do. I encourage anyone who has found Al-Anon to take advantage of as many of the tools as they can. Trying something new or different doesn't mean it will work, but not trying something guarantees that it won't. Hugs, Magic