I just thought of this, what do you think?
 

If I say anything to him about his drinking, he may stop, but why is he stopping ? I know, it's just to keep me quiet. So if I don't mention it and he continues to do it, I know he doesn't want it for him. It's what he wants to do. It will be easier for me to make my decision if I just sit back and see what happens.

makes sense, but what do i know? (that's how i feel today anyway - sorry for the bum-out!)

day - these things have happened to many and they still haven't reached their bottom so who knows what each of our a's lowest points look like? it sucks!

again i apologize - i am not in the best of moods today - i know - only I can change that!!!!

We never go anywhere together anyway so no worries there.
Mine has had terrible consequences for continuing to drink, and still it hasn't been bad enough yet.

Sometimes the "very best thing I can do for myself" is to sit back and see what happens.

None of us knows for certain what our H.P. has in store for any one of us here on earth.

I'd say your right on in your thinking Queen.

Mindi - makes total complete sense to me. Sounds like your getting it :)

You are growing every day.....I love watching it.

(((())))

That is what I did about 7 years ago. I sat back and said nothing. I detatched and I mean completely detatched. After 5 years of that I told him we were divorcing. He quit the next day, for me. We divorced. Almost 2 years now and I believe he is drinking again.
Glad I didnt waste any more of my life with that sh--.

I have found that when I do something to make him stop then I really regret it. He gets distant, mad, and just no fun to be around. If he quits for a few days on his own then he is happy with himself. Tonight he is drinking after quitting for two days. Tomorrow is his day off and he will be nice to be around. He will be going to quit forever. His last day off he went to the doctor. The doctor told him he better quit drinking, I GUESS! Not sure what was really said, but I guess he told the doctor he drinks 3-5 pitchers of beer a day!!!!!! HE misses a couple days, but he went tonight at 5 and it is five hours later. No telling what he can drink. The doctor told him to got AA meetings. He has not gone yet. I am not saying a word. When he went tonight I just kept washing dishes and he gave me a big kiss goodbye. I did not yell. I have not called him. I went to Walmart with the kids and bought some flowers and plants and repotted them. I will go to bed and I am very calm. I am not fighting with him anymore. I am going to have to do something about the money situation, but not sure what.

I feel none of us are born with the answers for a reason.
In the beginning we will voice our displeasure. As we grow and learn more though Al Anon or Nar Anon... they start to see changes and they do know our displeasure because we may have voiced it many many times in the past.
Once they see the changes and don't hear the words, it does start thinking to happen.
Have seen this from both sides of the fence and I know that...
is a good idea.

Ha! it's been YEARS since I've allowed him to drive when we go anywhere together. I do not CARE whether he's been recently drinking or not. He will NOT drive when I am a passenger. And he accepts that too, he gets to see the scenery for a change, and he doesn't have to deal with me being all tense and nervous and 'watch out!' on him.