emily33

On January 19th 2004, my brother decided he didnt want to live this life anymore, he was layed off, and was loosing everything he owned, he felt like a failure, he lived 11 hours away from us. We never imagined he would think of shooting himself. He was so strong, good looking smart, healthy, and he was loved by so many people. Six siblings, parents, wife, kids.

My brother was a very intelligent person with two degrees, he is an electronic engineer, and a professor at Nashville University, he is still married, with a three year old.

He was moved to my parents home town the day after his 41st birthday which was October 22. He has been in the Nursing home, with daily visits from family.

He fell ill Easter weekend, I think he had the flu, but with him, getting the flu is very dangerous, due to aspiration, He did aspirate and ended up with aspirated pnuemonia,

My brother was in ICU unit and finally was getting a little better, and they actually moved him into a regular room at the hospital, well he came down with a fever yesterday 104, and so they put a cooling blanket on him, which brought his fever down to 102, can you ever be ready for someone to pass.

I dont want him to suffer anymore, he has been near death so many times in this past year and a half.

They say my brother was sick, they say he had depression so bad, it was like he was seeing only black and white, there was no gray area for him, it was all or nothing. He chose nothing! But for his last year and a half, my family has hung onto hope, hope that he will get better, hope that he will walk again, feed himself, shoot just eat, instead of being tube fed, be able to drink, he could do none of those things. Are biggest excitement the last two months is that he has been able to eat things my mom has brought him, but his feeding tube is his main source of nutrients. My mom brought him pudding, applesusce stuff like that. As soon as he takes a step forward, he takes 10 back, but we have never given up on him. His condition now is obvious, his depression wasnt.

I miss the brother that I had, the person that he was, but I have had to accept that he is never going to be okay again, and it is just a matter of time, when his sickness takes him from us.

My brother wasnt an alcoholic, he didnt drink beer, but he smoked pot another depressant. I dont know how much, but it doesnt matter.

His decision will effect us the rest of our lives.

Alcohol is obvious, but all the other stuff is not.

There is nothing I can do for my brother, and there is nothing I can do for my H.

minnie

(((Emily)))

(((Emily's brother)))

I hope that your brother is free from his suffering soon, whether by getting well or passing on. My herat goes out to you and your family.

Love

Minnie
xxx

cwohio

(((emily))) - here's prayers for you and your family and also your brother that whatever happens you will all find peace with the outcome!

hugs - chris

bluester

emily,I'm so sorry to hear about this. I have been thinking about you. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

equus

I hope with all my heart we gain more and more understanding into mental health. The brain is an organ which can go wrong like any other, an illness very real and physical. I believe you're lucky to have the wisdom and sense to see that it was illness that brought him to this place, I hope you keep that thought through all that happens.

I also think you're so right in saying: We should all be aware enough to acknowledge alcohol may sometimes be only part of the problem.

This post has really touched me - you sound like such a loving family. I think your sharing this might help all of us be a little more aware.

zoe

Big hugs and prayers are being sent your way. Close your eyes, take a deep breath and feel it.

walkingtheline

Oh Emily! I salute you for speaking openly about such a dark and hidden subject. I suspect you've enlightened many.

May your brother and your family find peace.

((((Emily))))