Neagrm

Is it true it can take months for an alcoholic's brain to return to normal function after the last drink? A therapist said this to me once and I'm not sure I understand.

For an alcoholic, can one or two drinks a day still affect the brain adversely?

I have come to think my H is alcoholic and we have been unaware of this, thinking it is okay if he only drinks one or two a day. He has been drinking for years and years, sometimes stopping a few days; sometimes drinking too much for periods of time. He has never had a DUI, has never had it affect his work. But he drinks alone almost every afternoon/evening; is now rigidly controlling it to one or two a day; ritually watches a wine and food program daily; talks about drinking/wine/beer in some form almost every day.

Can it catch up with people over time? He is having cognitve changes and alarming lapses of memory and loss of acuity. Perhaps this is normal aging, but I am trying to get him to make an appointment with our PCP to consult. It is to the point we are both concerned and it seems like beginning alzheimers.

I am frightened. I am afraid for my husband and our future. Am I over-reacting? I finally told him for the first time in our 26-year marriage this week that I suspect he is an alcoholic. He thinks one cannot be alcoholic if you control your drinking to one a day. He thinks that cannot affect him.

I see him fall asleep after one drink. I see mood changes. Is it true that an alcoholic's body metabolizes even smaller amounts of wine/beer differently than others?

Please pardon all my questions and thank you for your patience. I am scared to death for my husband and what is happening to his once very sharp brain. Am I enabling if I make the doctor appt for him. He is still in denial and will leave it until he is in his grave.

:-( Neagrm

Audrey72

Hi Neagrm

Have you contacted Al-Anon - they may be able to answer some of the technical questions - they also have a questionnaire on their website you can fill in to see whether your loved one may have a problem with alcohol.

I think the basic premise is that regardless of the quantity they drink - it is whether or not they can function "normally" without it. My AH drinks every day - he's 32 and I have seen cognitive and personality changes in him over the years. We are now separated. He drinks quite a bit every day but even when he was "trying to cut down" it seemed just enough to keep alcohol in his blood to function "normally"

Contact AA and use your local Dr. Good luck to you both.

Aud.

nocellphone

Yes. Click this link on Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome

Keep in mind that while the disease of alcoholism is progressive, recovery is progressive too. The farther away from the last drink a person gets, the more the brain and other organs and systems are able to heal. Poison is poison, even if it's only taken once a day... That's what "intoxicated" means.

Peace...

prodigal

I spoke with the employee assistance counselor at my husband's place of work yesterday. Sometimes the damage to the brain is permanent, but it varies as to the degree of severity. Each body is different as far as how much abuse it can take before something gives. My husband exhibits signs of damage - problems remembering things, problems forming coherent sentences, inability to focus on work tasks, hand tremors. It just depends on an individual's physiology.

And, yes, your husband IS an alcoholic. Just a suggestion, but you might want to pick up a copy of the "Big Book." There's a section in there that addresses an A just like your husband. The types who do the white-knuckle "control" approach to their alcoholism are oftentimes the hardest to get into recovery. It was easy in the end to get my AH into a detox program because he was almost dead and one step from getting fired, not to mention other problems that have been the result of his alcoholism.

Please consider pickng up some Al-Anon literature and attending meetings. It will help you focus on yourself, how you can lead a better life, and how you can stop being a part of your husband's disease. Crazy though it sounds, you ARE a part of the problem, even though you may not realize it ....

Neagrm

Thank you so much for your replies. It is more helpful than you know and I sooo appreciate your responses. I am going to follow up on the information and take action on this.

I do have a copy of the big book and I haven't read it in years. I will get it out to read. Hearing there is an example in there similar to our situation, is an eye-opener to me.

Again, thank you sincerely. The support is invaluable.
Neagrm

paradox

You said he sometimes falls asleep after just one. My husband does this but it usually means that he has been sneaking some drinks in secret earlier. I actually know someone who developed alchohol demetia. It is absolutly horrifying he is now in a veterans home for the mentally ill. If wouldn't wish that on anybody.

I went through a period when I was consumed with fear that it would happen to him too. I finally had to put him in God's hands. Take care.

equus

This might help - It's a good source.

I think you need to be clear how alcoholism is defined, and then see if you feel it is an appropriate label.

This sounds very wise.

Good luck I hope you get to the bottom of knowing what's wrong soon.

Neagrm

Thank you for that resource, Equus. As I read it, my husband was abusing alcohol but is probably not alcoholic because he is able to control the amount he drinks when he puts his mind to it, to one or two a day.

However, he certainly does seem to be having "Post Acute Withdrawal" symptoms after cutting back for several days. I don't know how long these symptoms will go on, but, it is alarming to both of us and quite obvious to me as never before.

I just called and found out there is an Al Anon meeting on Monday night not too far from where I live. I am going to go and get myself some support.

I sent the links to some of the info to my H and haven't talked with him further about it. He is withdrawing/isolating and I am not pursuing it right now due to my own fatigue and Crohn's disease flareup.

I don't know what he thinks of it all. I just know that, regardless of whether he's alcoholic or not, he has abused it and it has affected us more than I realized. I am going to work on myself again and get my own head on straight.

Things have often been very miserable, despite the years of therapy I sought for myself and my efforts to save our marriage and improve communication, and I have some letting go to do. Our marriage is stronger than ever now and he has learned a great deal from me over the years, but I see I have some unfinished resentment and forgiveness of self, and others, to face and resolve before I can heal further.

It seems to me that alcohol abuse, even moderate, has seriously affected my husband. I must learn how to accept and deal with it. I *am* relieved to read that it is not alzheimers, but is PAW syndrome, so his brain is hopefully okay.

Thank you all, again.
Neagrm :-(

walkingtheline

If he's willing to see his doc he should probably do so anyway. Maybe his doc will say something inspiring to him or maybe he has alcoholism and....something.

Am glad you're reading and found a close-by meeting. Knowledge will arm you to deal with whatever you need to.

Beautiful

I don't know much about brain functioning although I can say that alcoholism is a disease of attitudes with alcohol is impetus for justified behavior. If he were a shopaholic, then he would create a lifestyle (lying, manipulating, cheating, emotional abuse, etc) that would "allow" him to shop. As I understand it, it really isn't about "alcohol" per se, it's about what vehicle is used to justify poor behavior. Poor behavior is treatable if that person wants to learn new behavior. Regardless if that person wants to learn new behavior, you must decide for yourself what you will and won't accept from *anyone* and put those boundaries into place. Then everyone knows where you stand -- including the addict.

nocellphone

Neagrm,

I'm glad to hear that you're being proactive about all this, and especially that you're investigating how you can find help for yourself.

Whether it's alcoholism or alcohol abuse, I've often heard that "if it causes a problem, then it's a problem", regardless of how it's labeled. The avenues you're investigating can help with what you've described.

I'd love to hear feedback about how things progress for you and yours.

Peace!