So Mad
 

How does a person get rid of the anger? I have been with a drinker for 20 years and I have had enough. It has consumed my life and I'm tired of the whole thing.I have just started too put myself first and my well being.But it is so hard to move forward when a person carries so much anger and it is more at myself then my husband.Is there anybody that can give me some words or advise.
Thankyou Nina

FIRST OF ALL NINA LET ME WELCOME YOU TO THIS SITE.IN HERE YOU WILL FIND PEOPLE WHO CAN HELP AND ARE WILLING TO HELP.I AM AFRAID I CANT OFFER YOU ANY ADVICE BUT I CAN MAKE A SUGGESTION AND IT IS THAT YOU SEEK OUT A FACE TO FACE ALANON MEETING NEAREST YOU.I GREW UP IN AN ALCOHOLIC FAMILY AND I KNOW THE ANGER OF WHICH YOU SPEAK I CARRIED THAT ANGER WITH ME FOR MANY YEARS UNTIL I FOUND RECOVERY.ANGER BRINGS WITH IT MUCH PAIN AND TWENTY YEARS OF PAIN IS ENOUGH.YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SUFFER.THE FIRST MEETING IS ALWAYS THE HARDEST ONE BUT ONCE YOU MAKE THAT STEP IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE.IN THE MEANTIME WE ARE HERE WITH YOU.PLEASE KEEP COMING BACK.peter.

That's great advice Peter.

Welcome to the recovery forum Nina. You sound just like a lot of others here. We move ahead by taking small steps. We increase our awareness, go to meetings, learn about the disease of addiction and slowly change our focus from them to ourselves. We learn to let go and detach with love.

Please read the information on the boards and vent anytime you want to. We're here to support you in your journey.

Hugs,
MG

welcome, i have the same anger as you.. you will find some fantastic people here that can listen and help,they have helped me ALOT!!!!!!!!! just remember you matter in this world... ALOT..

Hi Nina and welcome!!

You found a great place of support here. There are so many wise people here and I give thanks every day I found this board, every one has helped me through so much, I don't know what I would have done.

I don't have any great words of wisdom to give you but talking about it is a start. Find a meeting and reading al-alnon materials would be very helpful also.

You hang in there.

Take care.
Many hugs.
Debbie

Thankyou
 

Well I just want to thank everybody for their thoughtfulness, it is hard too see beyond the life we live in. At this time in my life though I don't have the time to go to a f2f meeting ,I am just starting to get controll of my life ,starting a new job .I am going to start to support myself financially (for the first time in years)It feels very good to be able to do this.I am 38 yrs I have two adult children and one ten yr that is still at home, my kids and I have a very tight relationship and we talk a lot about how alcohol has destroyed there father and how it interfered in are own lives.We are taking baby steps at this time it is hard when there was a lot of denial in the way ,but even though I don't have the meens to reach a meeting at this time Iam working the steps online.The site that I go to shows you how too work each step .But Iam going to try and get to the city and attend a meeting on the weekends.well thankyou for your help
Nina

Keep posting Nina,

We're always here to offer support.

Hugs,
MG

GOOD FOR YOU NINA.JUST REMEMBER TO ALWAYS KEEP AN OPEN MIND AND KEEP COMING BACK.peter

Nina,
Welcome. In Al Anon you can learn sayings and slogans that can help you deal with your anger. One of the ones that has helped me is "You were doing the best you could at the time." It doesnt do ONE bit of good to beat yourself up over the past. All you can do is live one day at a time, and little by slow you will start to see subtle changes in yourself and your life. I join the others in recommending meetings if at all possible... and ala teen for your child. They are so helpful, and you'll find yourself surrounded by loving friends - or as one of my friends calls them, God in skin.

Keep coming back. We are here for you!

O59

Nina...welcome!

My advice to you today is to breath. Take a moment to absorb all that you have come to realize recently and don't be in too big of hurry. The problems will not vanish tomorrow so you do not have to fix them today.

It sounds as tho you have a great relationship with your kids. And you are all open and honest. That is great! Education can help the difficulty in finding time for a meeting. There is alot of great reading out there...there is a Book Club that we are building at the top of this board. There is a thread on Nar Anon called Addictive Personality that is worth reading. Arm yourself with knowledge.

It may seem as tho you HAVE to do something today...but you have been dong this for awhile now...give yourself the gift of time to strenthen and educate youself so will never make a hasty decision that you end up regretting.

Hugs,
JT

Newbie also
 

I,too, am fairly new to the Forum, and have carried around (on and off) anger and resentment.... I find that the advice given in the other replies is great advice, and it is so true that all you can do is your best. The biggest, strongest thing I do is to detach and be sure to take care of myself first.That seems to keep me positive and keep me moving forward. Nothing others do is because of us, they do what they know, and we have to remind ourselves NOT to take any of it personally. I am grateful each day that I wake up healthy and breathing and I thank GOD each day for giving me strength and for leading me to this program of recovery. Peace and Faith to all of you,
J:)

Welcome Nina..................
I understand the anger..............I have just filed for divorce from my second A. It is really hard to let go when you feel you are being robbed! You will find much help from everyone here...hopefully we will see your name often and you will start to let go a bit.
Love Kitty