When its time to leave
 

What is the first step? My husband is caustic. There is something wrong with everyone. My dad just died. He has been just horrible and mean. Het ells me to stop crying and get over it. It's been two weeks and that's enough. He says my mother is playing her sorrow, he is just nasty. Our son is getting married in May. He refuses to host a rehearsal dinner. I am mortified. He has already called my sons new in laws to be and told them off whenhe was drunk. He keeps saying he isn't even going. Then he is, then he isn't. I'm afraid he will ruin this wedding. My son lives in another state so he unaware the drinking is out of control. Thing is, he is my husbands only son. I have two sons and he treats them like crap. They are all men. 27,25 and 20. He has forbidden me to say a word about this rehearsal dinner. I don't wan to be embarassed or my sons who are in the wedding.

the wedding is at 2pm
 

He will be baggged by noon. For some reason when he is dressed up he drinks liquor. He can't stand the bride to be(neither can I) but my son has built a new life away from his father. He will object to this when the minister asks. I think if there is even a chance he will make a spectical , I should warn my stepson. How do you uninvite your own father?

There are many many posts here about people leaving and explaining the whys and hows of their plan. There are also many posts here explaining the whys and hows of people who have found ways to live in joy with with alcoholic spouse. Only you can decide which way is right for you.

You can't bar a man from his child's wedding. Nor should you or anyone else accept responsibility for his behavior, only he is responsible. If he shows his backside at the wedding, it's his problem. If it happens, as his wife you will set the tone. If you ignore him, others may follow your lead. If they ask, you answer simply, "He's drunk." and continue to enjoy the wedding.

I am so sorry for the loss of your father. Each of us mourn in our own way, in our own time. Again I remind you, just ignore him and continue with your life.

Stick around, I've learned much from the wisdom of others here. Try some Al Alon meetings, again, you can gain much and have nothing to lose but an hour or two of your time.