Why do we stay?
 

Is anyone curious to hear one reason why each of us stay in our relationships.

My reason for staying is that my AH is mostly sober 4 out of 7 days a week..if it continues to get worse I'll have to rethink.

Have a nice day all!!:)

Lack of money. That is the reason I stay...short and simple.

That's your choice, not his!

I stayed out of fear for him if he was not taken care of by me.

The more I work on my recovery the more self confident I am, the stronger i am getting.

This is something I ask myself all the time, and I come up with I Dont Know.

Fear, fear, fear. I could list them all, but it wouldn't really matter...it all boils down to some fear. Fear was the same reason I drank and used and until I got sick and tired of being sick and tired I didn't get sober. I was driven by 100 forms of fear as the Big Book of AA says. I have been sober now 5 years by God's grace. I am no longer afraid to face the isms in my life. Today I am slowly stepping through the fears of Letting my addict Go and Letting God. Some days are a struggle alone, but most now are not. The God of my understanding is big enough to care for me and my children and my AH who is out there somewhere.

Lack of money, and wanting to stay near my kids and my mom.

It is the right choice for today.

Until I left, I stayed due to
1. Fear of what would happen to my step kids if I were not there to run interference
2. Low confidence that I could survive without him
3. Fear of the violence on his part that I knew would come with leaving him (I was right)
4. Fear, fear, fear and not enough rational thoughts.
5. Denial of the elephant in the living room

I stay because thru all the crazy, insane, hurtfull moments I still see something worth staying for. I had a glimpse of sanity this weekend and It gave me strength. I am still going ahead with my plans to take my life back but when he reached out to me I reached back.
Zoe

That dream of growing old with my highschool sweetheart. A marriage is supposed to be forever.

Guess I'm not done being put second.

I stayed untill I realized that I could take care of myself and I realized I was
pretty much alone even when he was there. I stayed because of all the fears--
then I looked at each fear and realized I could get over each fear and then I
left. Sometimes it is still hard but more and more I know leaving was the right
choice for me. smiles---Dee

This one used to be top on my list but now it's just money
Christine

I'm staying because he's in recovery - I've never known him as a totally sober person, and I'm curious to see what kind of person he will become - just making the decision to admit that his drinking was out of control was HUGE and sayd a lot about his character. And I'm curious to see how much better I can get through Al-anon, reading, and self examination. I've always loved many elements of my ABF, elements I've not come across in any other man I've dated.

That said, I would not have stayed if I had known all along that he was/is an alcoholic NOT seeking recovery. Although, really I should've figured it out... duh....oh well! What can I say - I'm blonde!

I stayed simply because I love him and I had hope.
It paid off, he has been sober 100 days and I have the man I married back and more.
We hang in there for our own reasons, sometimes it pays off, sometimes it doesn't.
I am lucky and grateful.......today~

Money is the primary reason, with fear a close second.

Letting go of the man I thought I married.

Feeling that marriage is supposed to be forever. Not wanting to admit failure also to my family and friends.

Loss of confidence, loss of myself. Regaining that, it is sadly enough still money and fear.

Because he is the father of my children.

I stayed because I believed that the man I love was still inside...he was just being covered up by his disease. I also stayed because I knew that I had a lot of work to do on "ME" and without working on my I would have ended up in the same situation with someone different. My AH has been in recovery and sober for 2 1/2 years. I'm gald that I rode out the storm

I stayed because he was the only man I ever loved. I let go of him because I learned to love myself more than I loved him. He's still the only man I've ever loved and no one will ever take his place in my heart. I let him go because alcohol had taken my place in his heart. I let go because I deserve more--much, much more.