New and need advice
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: REXBURG IDAHO
Posts: 1
New and need advice
I will try and make this as quick as I can...
My dear husband of 6 years drinks a case of beer a day, he is not mean, or abusive to me or the kids. In fact he treats us very well. The problem is he can not get a job outside the home because he can not go all day let alone 1 hour without drinking. He has worked from home for several years and now that has stopped he needs to find a job. He has high blood pressure and is overwieght and I tell him all the time he needs to quit.
He has tried on several occasions but never makes it through a day. Finally this weekend I told him it is killing him and hurting our family. He agreed to go into detox for 7-10 days, and quit drinking. my question is after detox then what? I know it will be a hard road but what can I do to lighten it for him or help him through it? Before we met he drank and quit for a year, then started again. I do not want that to happen again. what can I do to help ensure he won't start?
I do not want to leave him, I love him and our family but if I go through this I don't think I could bear it again..
Any advice or help?
Thank you,
Stephanie
My dear husband of 6 years drinks a case of beer a day, he is not mean, or abusive to me or the kids. In fact he treats us very well. The problem is he can not get a job outside the home because he can not go all day let alone 1 hour without drinking. He has worked from home for several years and now that has stopped he needs to find a job. He has high blood pressure and is overwieght and I tell him all the time he needs to quit.
He has tried on several occasions but never makes it through a day. Finally this weekend I told him it is killing him and hurting our family. He agreed to go into detox for 7-10 days, and quit drinking. my question is after detox then what? I know it will be a hard road but what can I do to lighten it for him or help him through it? Before we met he drank and quit for a year, then started again. I do not want that to happen again. what can I do to help ensure he won't start?
I do not want to leave him, I love him and our family but if I go through this I don't think I could bear it again..
Any advice or help?
Thank you,
Stephanie
Searching and tripping
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Back in my head
Posts: 1,194
Hi Swes and welcome to SR
There is nothing you can do for him. He's got to do it for himself. While he's in detox, look for alanon meetings for yourself and your children. Read everything you can because it's your turn to start getting healthy too. This is the best thing you can do. Take care of yourself.
There is nothing you can do for him. He's got to do it for himself. While he's in detox, look for alanon meetings for yourself and your children. Read everything you can because it's your turn to start getting healthy too. This is the best thing you can do. Take care of yourself.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Birthplace of Rock & Roll, Home of the Blues
Posts: 233
Hi,
Use this time to find Alanon meetings and go to them. Read all you can on this disease... read through the posts here... you'll realize you are not alone. This is a good place to vent when you need to and see others who are on this journey.
You didn't cause it, you can't conrol it and you can't cure it! You can't change him ... only he can change him. What you can change is yourself... you start by taking care of you.
Do something nice for yourself today... look at and really see the smile on your child's face or the beauty outside your window. Relax and breathe...
Use this time to find Alanon meetings and go to them. Read all you can on this disease... read through the posts here... you'll realize you are not alone. This is a good place to vent when you need to and see others who are on this journey.
You didn't cause it, you can't conrol it and you can't cure it! You can't change him ... only he can change him. What you can change is yourself... you start by taking care of you.
Do something nice for yourself today... look at and really see the smile on your child's face or the beauty outside your window. Relax and breathe...
Dancing To My Own Beat
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: I don't know what kind of state I'm in
Posts: 1,326
If he isn't introduced to AA in detox, he may want to check into it afterwards. You can suggest this, but it is up to him to choose. In the mean time, find some support for yourself. Even if he gets help, it has taken a long time for him to get in the shape he's in. It will probably take quite a while to get better. Getting support can help you to learn about and practice recovery for yourself and your family. I know it's a scary time, but there is a lot of support and help available. You don't have to go through this alone. Hugs, Magic
Cruelty-Free
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Body: South Florida Heart: Yosemite National Park
Posts: 914
Alcoholism is a disease, and drinking is only a symptom.
Perhaps he might consider going into treatment for a month or so after detox...? This would provide him with education toward finding solutions to the struggles he's having. He'd be around others with similar difficulties, all under the supervision and care of professionals.
Many treatment centers offer both residential and outpatient services.
I'll echo the others who've shared by suggesting Al-Anon for you and your family. After all, alcoholism is a family disease.
Because families suffer too...
Perhaps he might consider going into treatment for a month or so after detox...? This would provide him with education toward finding solutions to the struggles he's having. He'd be around others with similar difficulties, all under the supervision and care of professionals.
Many treatment centers offer both residential and outpatient services.
I'll echo the others who've shared by suggesting Al-Anon for you and your family. After all, alcoholism is a family disease.
Because families suffer too...
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
