Aquiana

Abf has been awesome on the drinking front the last few weeks. Not perfect, he hasn't quit but he's been drinking considerably less. Tonight I think I figured it out. He's been playing alot of hockey. So it leads me to wonder, he doesn't mind losing his job, getting into major debt and wasting money, or possibly losing his relationships with a good number of people but the one time he won't drink is when he's playing hockey.? I'm not trying to bash him here, he's been really sweet the last while as well. I'm not saying this to be mean but does it not seem like really screwed up logic? I think it's great that there's a focus that makes him think twice about drinking. Would be better if it was something besides hockey but at least it's something....
Just wondering if anybody elses A's have things like that. I should have been born a hockey stick.

equus

I think my hubby has used anything and everything he can think of to try and limit what he drinks. In one respect you could argue that it was a success - the amount he drank DID go down dramatically and enough to get back to work. However, what I've witnessed is that over time all the things he uses eventually fail, he has to keep up with it finding new things. He eneded up living in the middle of nowhere (literally 3 miles to the nearest shop!). Now he lives in the city most of those extra retsraints just aren't there - the booze shop is five minutes walk away and there's a pub over the road.

At first he used me to act as a restraint but now he wants to 'go it alone'. He says his cravings have gone right down from where they were so he's more confident now, although on Friday he did say that maybe the cravings are down because he's drank so little, maybe more booze, more cravings!!

My GUESS is that your boyfriend might be using hockey and your pregnancy to add extra restraint to himself? Like I said all these things one by one failed for my hubby and yet over all he still slowed his drinking (in fits and starts!!). What I could never take away from him is that he has made major successes in overcoming it - but it's a hell of a hair raising way to do it!

Aquiana

I tend to agree that abf is using the pregnancy as a restraint for not drinking. Although I don't have much faith in it always working, I'm not going to complain too much since for now it's at least stopping him from going out with both barrels and drinking his brains out. I'm trying to enjoy the way he is now instead of thinking about what he may do later. It's kind of nice, he knows his drinking stresses me out a lot and since I've had some scares, (undiagnosed bleeding), it seems he's not taking his chances. Last night he had plans to go out to watch a game and shortly before he was supposed to go I started to feel really terrible. He actually stayed until he knew I was okay and even asked if I still wanted him to go. I was really surprised. He seems to be really trying to be as supportive as he can.

The hockey I think is a deeper thing for him. He used to play sort of professionally when he was younger. Some of his friends went on to play with the NHL but he never made it. He's mentioned a few times that he's convinced he could have as well had he focused more on the sport than the partying. It's the one thing he seems to associate his drinking with the total destruction of. I'm not a big sports fan so I'll never begin to understand the big deal probably but I guess it was his dream. It seems now he really tries to separate drinking and playing. He takes if very seriously. I totally wish he took a lot more seriously.

equus

I was never that talented but I worked hard enough to ride good horses for a living for years. I can understand that kind of dedication to sport, my hubby doesn't really get it.

From that point of view (for me) if I ride I get saner, if I don't I feel like something is missing and I'll do anything to plug the gap. It's part of me and defines what I think of myself sometimes.

As much as I know D misses me, as much as I know he'd like whole days with me, I get up and do the horses every Saturday and Sunday. I feel guilty but then when I come back alive from a good ride, something hair raising that I'd forgotten I could do, I'm so alive inside. I don't chose one over the other, riding is part of me and if I removed it I wouldn't be me anymore to love anyone.

I haven't a clue if this helps but riding is like the most intense expression of everything I have to offer and I think most people nuts about a sport feel a bit the same.

When I ride more it's a bloody good sign that my head is straight, if I can't be bothered to ride it's a good sign I'm not myself. In short I reckon your BF's hockey playing is a damn good sign!!