Crap...I need to be locked away...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: US
Posts: 316
Crap...I need to be locked away...
of course I called home.
He is still very angry and I started to cry. So then he apologized and said "It is all my fault. And I did not mean what I said"...the tone was not sincere.
I wanted him to make me feel better and now I feel worse. WHY am I doing this to myself?
I know he is not rational and why am I trying to rationalize. I know he is angry and frustrated and why am I expecting him to be kind. I know he wishes last night did not happen and so do I.
I want to just forget all about it and go back to "happy land" and I can't do that.
Waaahhh...I am so sad.
Jenny
He is still very angry and I started to cry. So then he apologized and said "It is all my fault. And I did not mean what I said"...the tone was not sincere.
I wanted him to make me feel better and now I feel worse. WHY am I doing this to myself?
I know he is not rational and why am I trying to rationalize. I know he is angry and frustrated and why am I expecting him to be kind. I know he wishes last night did not happen and so do I.
I want to just forget all about it and go back to "happy land" and I can't do that.
Waaahhh...I am so sad.
Jenny
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 67
Jenny! You are torturing yourself! You are at work, right? Maybe get off this board for a little while and work! At least pouring yourself into something else will take your mind off of this, for even a few minutes of peace....
Your situation remains the same if you beat yourself up about it or not - so don't! Maintain your dignity... you are strong, even though you've lost sight of that right now... maybe not talking to him the rest of the day will help you remember that - don't even pick up the phone if he calls you!
Love and peace to you
Your situation remains the same if you beat yourself up about it or not - so don't! Maintain your dignity... you are strong, even though you've lost sight of that right now... maybe not talking to him the rest of the day will help you remember that - don't even pick up the phone if he calls you!
Love and peace to you
Searching and tripping
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Back in my head
Posts: 1,194
Hi Jenny,
Have you sought help in the way of alanon/sponsor/counselling. Sometimes, it's so much easier to continue living day to day in a world that we're familiar with...eventhough we hate it with an absolute passion.
Changing is scary. We fear the unknown. But if life is really that bad with the alcoholic, makes me wonder what could be worse.
Have you sought help in the way of alanon/sponsor/counselling. Sometimes, it's so much easier to continue living day to day in a world that we're familiar with...eventhough we hate it with an absolute passion.
Changing is scary. We fear the unknown. But if life is really that bad with the alcoholic, makes me wonder what could be worse.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 5,691
((jennyk)) - i think that you said you were not involved in al-anon but now might be a good time to try it or try it again if that is the case. i am sending you strength & hope that you will go easy on yourself and breathe!!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Where the sun always shines!
Posts: 1,625
Jenny - I've done the same thing. Makes you want to kick yourself don't it.
I agree that you need to put your thoughts somewhere else right now. He can't make you feel better.... you have to do that yourself.
Happiness has to come from within. You are very strong and I know YOU CAN get through THIS.
I agree that you need to put your thoughts somewhere else right now. He can't make you feel better.... you have to do that yourself.
Happiness has to come from within. You are very strong and I know YOU CAN get through THIS.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
