Mango blast

I need to talk to my own kids about the reasons why to wait with drinking, etc. I have somewhat, but nothing in relation to the alcohol problems that exist in our family. It's good to hear the words of wisdom of 'presenting some balance'. Letting our kids know they have choices and that they aren't just statistics that need to be scared straight. Reading from someone so young reaching out for help is a motivator for me to not keep waiting and putting this off. We definitely need to talk to our kids and not hide from this.

It seems alcholism is all too often the quiet disease that's hidden away because no one wants to talk about it or acknowledge it. Thank goodness for these forums.

faith

best

Don't drink till your 21 and it is legal.

OK so at 21 the party begins

The dangers of alcohol. The health risks. The impairment of the senses.
Legal and accepted does not mean it is safe.
Truthful facts given to instill wisdom for today and for the future would be the best in my opinion.
grade 3-7 I had teachers who would tell of the dangers of drugs and alcohol.
Grade 8-12 when the peer preasure increases... no instruction or warnings were given to keep things fresh in my mind.
Share the wisdom and knowledge you have. Share it today and keep sharing it into tomorrow.

escape artist

when i was a kid, my mom did tell us that her father was an alcoholic and we could be alcoholics too. i think that really stuck with me, and i was afraid to drink, i don't really even like to drink, and i always had the radar out to avoid drinkers, and yet i married a drinker, and then another one and another one...........so maybe the codie control freak in me kicked in which was my wonderful gift from...... MY MOTHER!!!! (she did the best she could with what she had). so maybe staying in recovery is best for me and my kids, so we can unlearn these behaviors and have the tools to cope with the real world. thank God for al-anon!-btw- i plan to send them to alateen when they are old enough.

gelfling

Consider talking to them about why they shouldn't even begin drinking. Not when they can start drinking. Granted, the genetic issue is up for grabs at times, but if they don't drink at all, then it's not an issue.

Think of it this way...I hand you a firecracker and a match and tell you there's a 50/50 chance it will blow up in your hand if you light the fuse. That's my opinion of how alcoholism works. Why tempt fate. Don't light the fuse.

This coming from a Mom with a 25 year old recovering alcoholic.

Blessings

sarah13

So, do you agree that we with kids who have atleast one parent that is alcoholic advise those children to never drink?? There are no drinkers in my family tree other than the glass of wine at Christmas or New Years and they are far and few between. I almost never saw anyone in the family drink at all my whole life and knew of no alcoholics.........but when I turned 16 it was the first thing I wanted to do- all of the parties were filled with beer and parties in college filled with liquor and pot........That ended 10 or more years ago, I am now a grown woman with 3 kids-I rarely drink but do enjoy a few wine coolers now and again in the summertime mostly- SOMEHOW I managed to marry into a family of alcoholics and didnt see it coming.
I think the reality is that most young adults may drink to reduce inhibitions(that is why I did) and most of us that did party in our late teens or early 20s are not still that way- its a phase for most I think- All the groomsmen at our wedding seven years ago were huge partiers back in highschool and esp in college- none of them EXCEPT my husband are like my husband. The rest (6) grew up, married, are starting to make babies and work their butts off to pay for their nice homes.
I think the alcoholic issue runs deeper for people who were raised by alcoholics.........Or maybe that is just what I have witnessed...Like the reason we outgrew it was b/c we knew no adults who acted that way. But my husband, raised himself by a raging alcoholic/workalcoholic cant relate to knowing the life I did...like he swears he has no idea how to be a good dad-
Is that a cop out?
I think seeing the struggles my kids watch their dad face may help them
to believe the dangers of drinking exist and are real-But I hope none of them
will turn out like dear ol'dad.

zoe

I was raised in a family where there were both alcoholics and responsible drinkers. My parents were responsible but my Aunt and Uncle were not. I am not an alcoholic but my sister is. My daughters father and most of his family are alcoholics but she was not raised around them, she was raised by my H and I. I have told her about her biological father and his family and she did spend some time with them in her early teens so she knows the truth of my words. I did tell her about the link and asked her to be very careful if she ever chose to drink. At this time she is a very stable young woman and I just hope that it remains that way. I do know she has drank because she told me. I just caution her.
Zoe

Aquiana

In my family my dad is an alcoholic, although he's a very functional one. My mother on the other had is very anti-alcohol. She grew up in a highly disfunctional familiy due to the drinking present. She lived around alot of violence, neglect, abuse, poverty and even a murder if I remember correctly. She was never able to stop my brother and I from getting in to drinking when we were younger. We both did it too much, and we both did really stupid things. She tried to talk us out of it but being teenagers, of course we didn't listen.

There's one thing about her and alcohol I'll never forget though. My mom is very nurturing for the most part. I'm 28 and she still brings me lunch at work, (even underwear sometimes because you always need those ) and still brings me over and takes care of me when I have the flu. One thing she never did though was take care of us when we drank or had the raging hangover the next day. She had no sympathy; you were completely on your own. She got you up and made you go to school or work, one rule was even if you weren't going to school or work you had to be up at 8 a.m. and out the door when SHE went to work. There was no lounging around the next day. She'd come in and vacuum right beside your throbbing head at 7 a.m. because it had to be done. One time... *warning gross part* she even got me up at 5 a.m. after about an hour sleep because my cat threw up and I had to stumble downstairs sick as a dog to clean it up. If you promised Aunt Martha you'd help her move than sure enough you were rideing the 2 hours in the broiling hot car to get there and pack couches around. She forced us to suffer the consequences and then some of our own choice. I used to think she was just mean. Now I'm glad she did that. It sure made you think about whether you wanted to spend all night and probably the next day feeling like that. She was lucky with me. I have a weak stomach at the best of times so I was often sick after drinking. Kind of a turn off.

Aquiana

Oh and I forgot the best part. My mom made sure to tell all my friends how sick I was on top of things. Got to get some embarrasment in there.

minnie

A - I think we could all learn some lessons from your Mum.

JessicaNAJ

I have talked to my son about alcoholism and depression (both are in our family). He needs to know what demons he will be facing when he gets older. I will tell my daughter when she gets older.

renee18

My dad is an alcoholic. it is just a given that my mom does not like anyone drinking. I am 19 years old. My mom has never said anything about drinking to me or my brother who is 22. All I know is that my dad is an acloholic. I think ever parent should sit down and talk to their kids about alcohol and if it runs in the family they should know. I know their is a chance if I drink I will be an alcholic too and that scares but I know it and when I turn 21 I will make a decision if I will drink or not the only thing I can do is so I will not drink now because I am not old enough to drink. Every kid is going ot make a decision and the rest if up to God in my eyes weather I become an alcoholic or not.
LOve,
Shana

gelfling

Statistically, if there is one parent who is an alcoholic, the chances of becoming an alcoholic are 40%. If both are alcoholics, the chances climb to 85%. There has also been some research done regarding genetics/DNA and they say it is looking like it is hereditary.

minnie

The addiction "button" may turn out to be genetic, but it still has to pushed.

Aquiana

I too think that although addictive personalitites may be genetic, you can avoid triggering them. I think learned behaviour is far more of an issue than genetics. In my household my parents were in balance. Dad never said anything at all about drinking. How could he? He did it everyday. Mom on the otherhand pushed it into you how wrong it was. How it wasn't normal what dad did, and how he wasn't in control over it anymore. I wonder how different things my have been without her imput. How would us kids have known there was anything wrong going on what dad did alone? By the time we would have been old enough to fully understand his problem on our own, it may have already been too late. Both Abf's parents are A's. It was normal at their house. Not only normal but expected. He was even given alcohol by them at a very young age. Not that it's an excuse for him but I've always thought he didn't have much of a chance. Again by the time he was mature enough to learn on his own that it wasn't alright it was probably already a problem. He needs to fix it now, but there was a chance that the whole thing could have been avoided.

gelfling

So true Minnie.