KATIE77

I saw AB over the weekend. He was remarkably sober on Friday and even went to the sport centre (I checked) with a friend. Makes a change from hitting the bar. Last night he also did good…. We went to a bar for a friends birthday and then decided to go on the a club. He came to the club and then I noticed he had left. I stayed and later went back to his where I found him in a sober sleep. He looked beautiful. Not half dressed in a stench of whisky slumped half on and half off the bed. This is great I can hear you all thinking, (so did I).

I went downstairs and I found this scary looking guy in the kitchen. He looked like something out of a movie. He was arguing with one of my friends over some cocaine. I asked “B” my ABs best mate who he was. He said he was a dealer!!!!
B then proceeded to go around all his mates asking them to lend him some $ to pay this guy.
I didn’t want to see this. I went upstairs and sat on the bed watching AB sleep. B came bursting into the room and woke him up!!!! He asked him for some $$ for some coke. I looked at AB and said “F*&(ing coke now!!” and walked out.

AB had curbed his drinking but it flared up again BIG TIME since he moved in with B. He is a major influence in his life. Since moving back in with him he has been arrested (several times), found on roadsides, been in hospital, lost relationships. But he cant see it as his drunken hazes are so blissful.

The other thing is 3 years ago AB had a coke habit too. He managed to get help to kick it. Im so so worried, with B on it he will influence AB. AB is so dumb when he is drunk and would do anything anyone tells him to do….. including coke.

So now not only do I think about his A problem but I don’t want him on drugs again.
Should I speak to B and tell him to keep away?

Thanks for letting me vent

wraybear

What a YUCKY situation. Your A has to make (and is already making) these decisions himself and quite frankly, you simply need to find the courage to stay out of it. I am being very blunt. Yes, B may be a bad influence, but your A is making the choices himself. HE is repsonsible for his choices, not B. Stop blaming B and start seeking help for yourself. Get educated about addiction so you will know what you are dealing with.

It baffles my mind that he is choosing to hang out at clubs and bars. Not a great place for an addict to hang. But, HIS choice. Sounds like he needs a whole new group of people to live with and hang out with, but that has GOT TO BE HIS CHOICE.

My AH had to break ties with his high school drinking buddies about 8 years ago. These were his best friends for over 20 years. But, it had to be done. His BEST buddy, who doesn't understand addiction, encouraged my AH to tie one on a few times a year, just take a weekend and get blasted with the guys and get it out of his system... HA HA HA - yeah, what he didn't realize is AH couldn't stop. He would end up being blasted for several weeks day and night. So, in that situation, I would gladly tell my A to go live with his buddies!

I hope you can try to live YOUR life and not be so wrapped up in his and what he is doing. That could become "entrapment" for you. You will become so wrapped up in his addiction, his life, that you will put your own on the back burner. That is no way for you to live.

Anyway, I hope you can find some peace in your situation very soon.

JessicaNAJ

Wray has some very good points.

We all have choices, maybe the choice for you should be to stay away from an unhealthy situation - meaning B's place.

If A really wants to see you, he will respect that and come to you. (That is not controlling him, but taking care of you.) What would have happened if B didn't come up with the money to pay this guy? Could that have turned into a bad situation?

Take care of yourself.