erino134

I would certainly tell her- this is much better than some places you could be posting. Just because she knows doesn't mean that you have to share your posts with her - those can be private.

If she is going to meetings - I seriously doubt that she will mind.

If she is still in denial about the problem - well thats a different deal.

I would not mind if my husband posted here. And I go to meetings. I would really really mind if he posted on some dating site or something. And the secrecy would worry me - INTENSELY.

MysticCat

Hey AHCB, no my AH does not know I post here, but for two reasons. First, I spend so much time on the computer (online business, and some groups I manage) that he doesnt really know the difference. Second, I dont think he even cares. He knows I am active in Alanon communities, but he doesnt think he has a problem. He is not very computer savvy so I dont think he would know how to check up on me! But, I dont hide it, it has just never come up.

Blessings,
MysticCat

JennyK

My husband knows I post things about everything all over the internet, my kids, my pets, my business, my cooking...so I am sure it is not a far reach to assume that I would be posting on a board such as this.

I refer to things I have learned here, when talking to him as my "research". He honors that.

I don't specifically name any of the boards I post on and he is never on the computer, so he does not know that I post here.

I do also erase my history every time I am going to leave the house, ONLY because my husband's best friend/drinking buddy used to come over frequently and I know he used my computer and I did not want him knowing ANY of my business.

Jenny

wraybear

My AH knows I come here. He has made comments like he is afraid i might get depressed from hearing other peoples bad addict stories. I think he is afraid I might get stronger!!!! ha ha ha And, guess what... I have - thanks to the good wise people on this sight.

It seems since your wife has been sober for so long, she would totally understand that you are "helping" others on an alanon type sight. But, that is your choice to tell her or not. Although, it would bother me if I thought my spouse was looking at naked
amazon woman who enjoy playing guitar and swinging from trees. So, it may put her mind at ease which may help you feel more peaceful about coming here - to know what you are doing and that you aren't doing the amazon woman thing.

ahcb

Wraybear,

You said " it would bother me if I thought my spouse was looking at naked
amazon woman who enjoy playing guitar and swinging from trees."

Well of Course, You make it sound so cheap!!

Blondie

I mentioned this website to my AH months ago because they have a biker section (he's a big "biker dude") and I did tell him they have a section for people like me. As far as I know he never has looked up this site and has no intention to do so. I've never brought up this website again because I know if he comes here and finds out my "handle", he'll be totally peeved at the things I write and that would open up a huge can of worms because, although he did admit to being an alcoholic and he did AA for a few months, he dropped out and is on the merry-go-round again of denial and "victimhood" again. He probably forgot about the site. Anyway, would I tell him again? No, because it is one of the few places that I can vent and be totally honest with other people in the same situation as myself.

SBJKE32

My hubby does not know I post here. I only come here when he is gone or asleep. I figure, this is mine, and if he knew he would only make me feel guilty for writing things about him. This is a place for me to get away from him and hang with friends, which I don't get to do often. The only down side is that I miss the online meetings, which I am hoping to attend sometime soon. I don't think of it as not being honest with him, I need this site for my sanity, and if he asked, I would tell him what I was doing, not where I was at. Am I hiding it from him....yes, but it doesn't bother me, I know I am not doing anything wrong, and I know that he would make me feel as if I were.