EmotionalMeg

Hi all,
Thanks for letting me ramble on yesterday about myself.... It's amazing how easy it is to find all the faults in your life. Today was a much better day for me; I woke up feeling like I needed to start working on / taking care of myself. First, I started working out again (something I've put off for so long), and then I took the time to read and spend quality time with my sons. I think my hubby had a better day too; perhaps we both need a little space, and a lot of understanding to work all of this out... Sometimes, when emotions are high, and life is stressful, we seek immediate solutions / answers. Let's face it - it all takes time.
We had a bit of a setback however; it looks like my hubby won't be able to get into the treatment center until a later date... he's pretty dissapointed. I tried to take a different approach, and just said that it WILL happen, and it gives him more time to work on his AA / NA program.
One thing that I worry about with him is pretty major. In May 2000, we lost our baby, our only girl. She was an infant heart transplant recipient, and died at 15 months old during a routine biopsy procedure. Her death was very sudden and unexpected, and I am not sure how well he has dealt with it all - if he has "dealt" with it at all. When he is drinking / drugging, it is the only time he talks about her... and often he gets very emotional. When he is sober, he cannot even bring himself to mention her name. Again, I worry about him...
Meg

Morning Glory

Meg,

I'm so very sorry about your loss. Grieving for a lost child truely adds stress to a marriage. I think your husband will find his release in meetings and treatment. When he is ready he will deal with his grief.

I think it is easier for women to show their grief. The feelings are so incredibly overwhelming that it is very frightening. I can imagine how it is for a man to fear these emotions.

I can imagine that you are still grieving too.

We're here for you Meg.

Many Hugs,

MG

Ann

I am also so sorry for the tragic loss of your baby. I am sure this was devastating for both of you.

Have you tried any grief counselling? Or there are also support groups for people who have gone through this too. This might be one way for both of you to work through the grief.

Rose56

Meg, I am so sorry about the loss of your daughter. I understand your concerns that this grief is pushing your husband more toward his addiction. MG and Anns have good suggestions I don't have anything useful to add. My paryers are with you.

JT

Meg,

I, too, am so sorry for your loss. I lost an infant child 29 years ago and it does get better. Even tho there is forever a spot where that person should have been time does heal.

I must say that when things were very very bad with the Beav, Ward drank alot. He doesn't take any kind of drug, but MG is right. Men do respond differantly than we do.

We recently had another loss and I find myself expecting him to be the strong one when in reality he is greiving too. When Ward does talk I try to listen with compassion.

Be especially careful of resentment for him not being there for you. He is grieving the only way he knows how.

((((HUGS)))))

JT