queenofthehwy

I feel so sick, I'm nervous, I feel like everything is falling apart. Like everything I know is being questioned everything is under a microscope. I am trying to find out who I am and H hates it and accuses me of having a "problem".

He doesn't drink for a couple days then he does. He's nice then he's not.

I don't want to fight with him, but I don't want to let him treat me badly either, so if I stand up for myself I'm a B. If I don't and I give him what he wants then I deserve to be treated with respect and kindness?????
I'm not a relationship expert or anything but I'm sure that's not how it's suppose to work.

Mindi

Petunia

Mindi,

Hello darling. Deep breath. Now a few more. I remember when I first started to stand up for myself - I thought I would go crazy. Mostly b/c the other folks who were around me had no idea of what "recovery" was and I didn't have any support system.

Things took time, but the more I prayed the serenity prayer, especially when I thought I would lose my mind, the less crazed I felt.

I keep this reading handy b/c I want to remind myself that I am not crazy for expecting certain things from people.

Wishing you peace tonight,
Petunia
***********************************************
The sufferings of love should ennoble, not degrade.
--George Sand

Only in the imagination does love promise happiness forever. Through experience, we discover the myriad dimensions of love. Sometimes love is joy. Sometimes passion. Sometimes moments of serenity amongst the laughter and sadness. Generally, love is soft. But it also may sting. Love is forever changing, perhaps a smile will slow our pace one minute, but a sign of danger may push us to act, to respond, to make a decision the next.

All that love is, there's much it is not. Love is not shaming. Nor is it punishing. Love does not gloat, criticize, degrade, or diminish. At times we think we're filled with love and yet we selfishly serve our needs before another's. And when we truly express our love to another, there's no mistaking the warm glow that fills the body.

How simple to be a giver of love and yet how forgetful we are when the opportunities arise.

cwohio

mindi - been there, done that, felt that, feel that. like petunia says - it's tough when we are first starting out! hang in there - i am with ya on this!

hugs - chris

nocellphone

Living with alcoholism is a problem...

Perhaps, but only in the eyes of an alcoholic active in his disease. Consider the source. What it really makes you is a person who values her diginty, self-respect and self-worth. I was told that if I want to stop being treated like a doormat, I have to get up off the floor.

You being in recovery increases the chances that your relationships can and will improve!

Don't quit before the miracle...

JennyK

I often liken my life to watching children play. They play nicely for a while and then hit a point of chaos. If the adults in the room just observe rather than fix it, then the play settles down again and it richer and more purposeful than ever. It is a cycle that works best if not mucked around with.

Believe and pray and breathe and ride it out. What comes after will be better.

Jenny