Letting go of those not in recovery - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information > Friends and Family > Friends and Family of Alcoholics
Register Blogs FAQ Members List Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read

LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 02-17-2005, 07:47 AM   #1 (permalink)
minnie's Avatar

Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410

Letting go of those not in recovery

This is the reading from Melody Beattie's "Language of Letting Go" for February 12th. I can't get it out of my head, so I want to share it with you all.

We can go forward with our life and recoveries, even though someone we love is not yet recovering.

Picture a bridge. On one side of the bridge it is cold and dark. We stood there with others in the cold and darkness, doubled over in pain. Some of us developed an eating disorder to cope with the pain. Some drank; some used other drugs. Some of us lost control of our sexual behavior. Some of us obsessively focused on addicted people's pain to distract us from our own pain. Many of us did both: We developed an addictive behavior, and distracted ourselves by focusing on other addicted people. We did not know there was a bridge. We thought we were trapped on a cliff.

Then, some of us got lucky. Our eyes opened, by the grace of God, because it was time. We saw the bridge. People told us what was on the other side: Warmth, light and healing from our pain. We could barely glimpse, or imagine this, but we decided to start the trek across the bridge anyway.

We tried to convince the people around us on the cliff that there was a bridge to a better place, but they wouldn't listen. They couldn't see it; they couldn't believe. They were not ready for the journey. We decided to go alone, because we believed, and because people on the other side were cheering us onward. The closer we got to the other side, the more we could see, and feel, that what we had been promised was real. There was light, warmth, healing and love. The other side was a better place.

But now, there is a bridge between us and those on the other side. Sometimes, we may be tempted to go back and drag them over with us, but it cannot be done. No one can be dragged or forced accross this bridge. Each person must go at his or her own choice, when the time is right. Some will come; some will stay on the other side. The choice is not ours.

We can love them. We can wave to them. We can holler back and forth. We can cheer them on, as others have cheered and encouraged us. But we cannot make them come over with us.

If our time has come to cross the bridge, or if we have already crossed and are standing in the light and warmth, we do not have to feel guilty. It is where we are meant to be. We do not have to go back to the dark cliff because another's time has not yet come.
The best thing we can do is stay in the light, because it reassures others that there is a better place. And if others ever do decide to cross the bridge, we will be there to cheer them on.

Today, I will move forward with my life, despite what others are doing or not doing. I will know it is my right to cross the bridge to a better life, even if I must leave others behind to do that. I will not feel guilty, I will not feel ashamed. I know that where I am now is a better place and where I’m meant to be.
minnie is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 12 Users Say Thank You to minnie For This Useful Post:
EternalNow (01-20-2015), firebolt (12-04-2015), isitme (10-16-2013), Jodie77 (02-08-2015), majool (05-06-2012), mrphillipctrs1 (06-20-2010), Nowheretoturn1 (07-03-2013), pinkpeony (01-15-2015), sadielady (06-26-2013), shauna71 (Yesterday), SuzyMarie (04-22-2015), wholelottarosie (01-28-2014)
Old 02-17-2005, 08:39 AM   #2 (permalink)
JessicaNAJ's Avatar

Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Where the sun always shines!
Posts: 1,625
Thank you for sharing that Minnie.
Just when you think you've had enough, your little angels step in and give you a break.
JessicaNAJ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2005, 10:48 AM   #3 (permalink)
cwohio's Avatar

Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 5,691
minnie - how wonderful of you to share! now i have got to go get book! that was absolutely beautiful!

many hugs for sharing - chris

Learn to write your hurts in sand. Learn to carve your blessings in stone! - Unknown
cwohio is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2005, 12:39 PM   #4 (permalink)

Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: west coast
Posts: 21
that was just what i needed to hear today!
thanks sooo much
Laura_298 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2005, 12:42 PM   #5 (permalink)

Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 48
I love how that was written! Thanks for sharing!
stilltrying is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2005, 08:20 PM   #6 (permalink)

Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 2,333
Minnie... as usual you are my light and my hope...
Love, Patty
pmaslan is offline   Reply With Quote

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:36 PM.