SBJKE32

I am a posting fool today, but I have something I wanted to get off my chest. I have a seven year old son and a three month old daughter. I have been lucky enough to be able to take three months off maternity leave, and tomorrow I go back to work. I am so sad about that. I desparately wanted to stay home with her for a least a year, but can't afford it. My "wonderful" AH took a job that pays him half of what he used to make because he felt like it, and that pretty much put my plans on hold. He knew my plans (they were our plans), and thought "it's a great idea". Ha.

I tried talking to friends and family about it, but no one seems to understand how upset I am. My AH knew how upset I was about the whole going back to work thing and having to take my three month old to daycare, 8-5, and knew I needed a shoulder to lean on. I spent most of my day crying and holding my baby. It's not fair. I was also having fun picking my son up from school every day instead of having him have to go to the after school program til I got off work. The program was/is great, but we just had fun. we went for walks, homework was fun and not so stressed for time. Now I will have to go and pick both kids up from daycare at 5pm, come home, feed baby, cook dinner, do homework, clean up, bath time some nights and then what do you know, it will be time for my son to go to bed. Everything is going to be rushed and stressed out. I love my kids so much. I know my AH isn't going to be any help, he will probably be drinking, so that means he won't be home til late.

Anyway, thanks for letting me tell my story. I know things could be worse and I am lucky to have had the time I did, but I am just sad, and I know people here will understand. I am so glad I have this place, I don't feel alone anymore, and I can't tell you all how much I appreciate having it.

walkingtheline

I work from home. If I had small children still at home I would employ a babysitter, but I would be free to have lunch with them or walk them to school or ...

First, take a good look at your present job to see if there's a way. If not, start looking...I'm not saying you'll find something you want but you won't know until you look.

I HATED working when my children were small...but they had this crazy habit of wanting to eat everyday

Could you get by on fewer hours?

Be creative in your thinking and you may find a compromise.

escape artist

dear SB, i went through the same thing with my kids. however when the 3rd one came along, i could not bear any longer the thought of leaving her as well as the 2 year old WITH THEIR DAD! all day!

so i prayed and prayed and prayed and quit my job. i went through all the bills and cut and slashed as much debt as i could. i got healthcare through the state, (they had been on my insurance at work- and by the way I have no qualms about welfare- god knows i've paid into the system long enough)
anyway it has been 4 and one half years since i went "jobless"- i did start selling MaryKay!!! and i was motivated to sell enough to fill in the monthly gaps of our budget-

anyway, it just reaffirms my faith that my HP was there all along and has taken care of us well. you just have to let go and let God. he knows what you need.

elizabeth1979

Hi!
I wanted to offer a suggestion.....I dont know what state you are in....but try Alpine Access at www.alpineaccess.com They are a home based call center that handles calls and orders for really big companies that most people think have their own call center. They pay anywhere from $9-11/hr to take calls and orders from your home...all you need is DSL and a phone. I know people who work for them...its really a good company and if you could be at home...it may be worth it.

Just wanted to pass that along

zoe

That is an excellent suggestion. I wanted to throw out one more. My work was close enough that I was able to take my lunch hour and go spend it with my kids. After work I had more time with them by doing little things like putting dinner in the crockpot in the morning. Throw a load of clothes in befor work. With a little reorganizing you could have anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour more in the evening with your kids. Don't let it take you down. We moms have the power to make anything happen.
Zoe

SBJKE32

Thank you for the advice, I did check it out. It currently isn't accepting applications in my state, but I definately wrote them and I am going to see when they are. I should have asked sooner, this might be the answer I was looking for. I have a seven year old as well as my newborn, and so I am used to the daycare scene, but it is harder this time for some reason. My little girl didn't do so well today (it was her first day at daycare). She wouldn't eat or sleep for them. She wasn't fussy or crying, probably just didn' t understand what was going on. So, about 6pm after she had been home for about an hour, she had a total melt down and cried for about 45 minutes, and then fell asleep. Poor thing. Talk about mother's guilt. I also cried for about 45 minutes. My AH decided not to drink tonight cuz I begged him to be sober so that I could go to the store tonight after dinner. He managed to do that, but I didn't manage to do anything but feel bad. Of course he had the entire day off and will have another day off today, do you think he offered to go to the store.....no. So, I will just have to find time on my lunch hour tomorrow to do it. It is so much fun being the only responsible adult in the relationship.


Anyway, I did want to thank everyone for the great advice, and I am checking all my options as we speak. It is so nice to know we I am not the only one that has been there.