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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: MN
Posts: 103
???
Does anyone else drink?
The reason I ask is becasue it is now a HUGE issue with my A. As you may or may not know when my A is VERY insecure and controlling now that he is not drinking ...so anytime I am invited to go somewhere or do something it is an issue. (I can honestly say I am proud of myself becasue over the last 3 weeks I have done things that I want to do regardless what he says....)
At any rate......I do drink, he has asked me (or I guess stated) that he does not feel comfortable with it in the house so I do not drink at home, or really in front of him when we go somewhere. But when I do go with friends or family yes I am going to have acocktail or 2.....but then that is all I ever hear about and he is VERY angry and throws out accuations all the time.
Last night I went to a Professional basketball game with my son...I had 2 beers in a 4 hour period, came home picked up the younger kids, put them to bed and started to get ready for bed myself.....then I get "oh did you get your beers in?" very nasty...I said "yes I had 2" and he started in..I said nothing.....now today he is saying that I am just trying to get rid of him and that is WHY I drink.........
what do I say to this? I know if I chose not to drink it wouldn't make a difference ..he will find something else.......
sorry kind of mixed up ......he just now called and apologized for being nasty...I thanked him but now he thinks that makes it all better......and I know things will not change.......becasue he refuses to see what he does and says.........
The reason I ask is becasue it is now a HUGE issue with my A. As you may or may not know when my A is VERY insecure and controlling now that he is not drinking ...so anytime I am invited to go somewhere or do something it is an issue. (I can honestly say I am proud of myself becasue over the last 3 weeks I have done things that I want to do regardless what he says....)
At any rate......I do drink, he has asked me (or I guess stated) that he does not feel comfortable with it in the house so I do not drink at home, or really in front of him when we go somewhere. But when I do go with friends or family yes I am going to have acocktail or 2.....but then that is all I ever hear about and he is VERY angry and throws out accuations all the time.
Last night I went to a Professional basketball game with my son...I had 2 beers in a 4 hour period, came home picked up the younger kids, put them to bed and started to get ready for bed myself.....then I get "oh did you get your beers in?" very nasty...I said "yes I had 2" and he started in..I said nothing.....now today he is saying that I am just trying to get rid of him and that is WHY I drink.........
what do I say to this? I know if I chose not to drink it wouldn't make a difference ..he will find something else.......
sorry kind of mixed up ......he just now called and apologized for being nasty...I thanked him but now he thinks that makes it all better......and I know things will not change.......becasue he refuses to see what he does and says.........
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: somewhere far away
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I haven't drank in over a year. I had to stop b/c everytime I went out for a couple with my friends, that would mean leaving him alone...with the kids, so I would come home to him passed out to the point you couldn't wake him up (he always found it was the perfect opportunity to drink since I couldn't catch him). The kids were in bed, but still what if something happend. And, we couldn't obviously have it in the house. I just found it easier for my situation to stop all together. I think if he ever quit for a couple of years in a row, I would maybe have a glass here or there, but I have kind of come to grips with the fact if I am going to stay in this marriage, there is a good chance I won't ever be able to drink again. That is just my situation, but, what I wouldn't do for a bloody mary with a big old jalapeno right now. The thing that gets me is that I am trying to diet, and do you think he could stop bringing home junk food for once stinking week to support me?.......no.
I think everyone's situation is different, and it will have to be your judgement call. My AH hasn't really stopped drinking. He goes about a week, and then boom, right where he began. Sometimes a month, but for my sanity and so that he can't justify his drinking, I don't.
I think everyone's situation is different, and it will have to be your judgement call. My AH hasn't really stopped drinking. He goes about a week, and then boom, right where he began. Sometimes a month, but for my sanity and so that he can't justify his drinking, I don't.
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: US
Posts: 316
When my husband decided to stop drinking we had a talk about this. I told him that I would not drink in front of him if we were just home alone. If we have people over for dinner, sure, I am going to have a glass of wine...the same if we go out with people. I will have a few glasses if I am out with the girls and NOT driving.
I also have a glass once in a while after everyone is in bed. He never drank wine and at this point, what I am doing after he is in bed as no impact on his decision to remain sober.
I am responsible. I like to drink wine and I don't have a problem using it appropriately. I can not recall the last time I was drunk (pre-babies, I am sure) and my husband clearly understand that responsible use of alcohol is acceptable. He is also clearly aware that he is incapable of that.
So, that is how it is for me. And if he did aske me never to drink again, I would wonder why he was asking me and really need to think about it before I agreed, as I would see that as a means of controling things that are not his to control. Does that make sense?
Jenny
I also have a glass once in a while after everyone is in bed. He never drank wine and at this point, what I am doing after he is in bed as no impact on his decision to remain sober.
I am responsible. I like to drink wine and I don't have a problem using it appropriately. I can not recall the last time I was drunk (pre-babies, I am sure) and my husband clearly understand that responsible use of alcohol is acceptable. He is also clearly aware that he is incapable of that.
So, that is how it is for me. And if he did aske me never to drink again, I would wonder why he was asking me and really need to think about it before I agreed, as I would see that as a means of controling things that are not his to control. Does that make sense?
Jenny
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: In Search of Finding ME!
Posts: 1,246
I haven't had a drink in about 8 or 9 years.
I have absolutely no desire to drink!
I have seen the way that alcoholism can effect a person's life as well as the people around them. Not only have I seen it, I was also effected.
Alcoholism runs in families and I feel that I am at risk. I don't wish to take that risk and I really have no desire to drink anymore. My AH drank more than enough for both of us.
On a side note, just want to add my thoughts in here.......
I wonder if your AH is so nasty to you about your drinking just because it makes him so angry that you can control it and he can't. Or that he's "paying you back" for all the comments you made to him in the past.
(just some thoughts)
While drinking wasn't an issue in this house as far as my consuming......I do want to say something. There have been many times throughout the course of my marriage where I wanted to quit smoking. I asked AH many times to quit with me. It's very hard to quit when you have others in your life that are smoking.
While I realize that smoking and drinking are two different things, I've always wondered if when the non-alcoholic spouse is drinking and the alcoholic is not, if it makes it all the harder for them to stop. Regardless of if it's in front of them, they may smell it on you, taste it on you, or simply just knowing that you've been out doing what they can't (or are trying not to) do, just always wondered if that made it harder for them? Kind of like on the same concept of my wanting to stop smoking and having a hard time when people around me are still smoking.
(just another thought)
I have absolutely no desire to drink!
I have seen the way that alcoholism can effect a person's life as well as the people around them. Not only have I seen it, I was also effected.
Alcoholism runs in families and I feel that I am at risk. I don't wish to take that risk and I really have no desire to drink anymore. My AH drank more than enough for both of us.
On a side note, just want to add my thoughts in here.......
I wonder if your AH is so nasty to you about your drinking just because it makes him so angry that you can control it and he can't. Or that he's "paying you back" for all the comments you made to him in the past.
(just some thoughts)
While drinking wasn't an issue in this house as far as my consuming......I do want to say something. There have been many times throughout the course of my marriage where I wanted to quit smoking. I asked AH many times to quit with me. It's very hard to quit when you have others in your life that are smoking.
While I realize that smoking and drinking are two different things, I've always wondered if when the non-alcoholic spouse is drinking and the alcoholic is not, if it makes it all the harder for them to stop. Regardless of if it's in front of them, they may smell it on you, taste it on you, or simply just knowing that you've been out doing what they can't (or are trying not to) do, just always wondered if that made it harder for them? Kind of like on the same concept of my wanting to stop smoking and having a hard time when people around me are still smoking.
(just another thought)
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: US
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That was part of the discussion that I had with my husband. We have not been big "drinking buddies" for years. His main problem area is his best friend, who he still sees daily and who is still drinking in front of him and offering him beer.
If his sobriety is so fragile that smelling wine on my breath after I have a night out with the girls, is going to push him to drink, then he has a lot more work to do that has little to do with me.
I think that I am being subborn on this point (not to him, but to myself), because I don't want his being sober tied to anything that I do or don't do. I don't want to change my daily living patterns in order for him to stay sober.
If I daily drank beer in front of him (as his best friend does) then I am sure it would be a different matter.
Who knows, I might change my tune as he gets more sober, since in all honesty it is not the wine that is important to me, rather the control issue. Boy...I might need to work on that one, eh?
Jenny
If his sobriety is so fragile that smelling wine on my breath after I have a night out with the girls, is going to push him to drink, then he has a lot more work to do that has little to do with me.
I think that I am being subborn on this point (not to him, but to myself), because I don't want his being sober tied to anything that I do or don't do. I don't want to change my daily living patterns in order for him to stay sober.
If I daily drank beer in front of him (as his best friend does) then I am sure it would be a different matter.
Who knows, I might change my tune as he gets more sober, since in all honesty it is not the wine that is important to me, rather the control issue. Boy...I might need to work on that one, eh?
Jenny
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Anaheim,CA
Posts: 549
Not often
but yes, if I want a drink, I'll have one.
I drank at my company's Christmas party, about once a month I'll have a frozen margarita with a Mexican meal and of course, I'll have the wine for the toast at a wedding ...that sort of thing.
I do not have a problem with alcohol. Period. I'll bet I average less than one drink a month, I see no reason to deny myself a drink if I want one.
I drank at my company's Christmas party, about once a month I'll have a frozen margarita with a Mexican meal and of course, I'll have the wine for the toast at a wedding ...that sort of thing.
I do not have a problem with alcohol. Period. I'll bet I average less than one drink a month, I see no reason to deny myself a drink if I want one.
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: St. Paul MN
Posts: 58
My take on this subject is this: If he had cancer I wouldn't take his medicine. He has alcoholism and not drinking is his medicine. His disease, his treatment.
That aside however, I do not drink anymore...I stopped when I was pregnant and nursing and just haven't started up again. My husband never asked me to stop, I made the decision for myself that alcohol was seriously hurting my marriage and my DH was a suffering alcoholic....why tempt him? He is sober now...5 months...and going strong and I don't feel right drinking and then coming home with it on my breath for him to smell. My opinion is that this is a life or death situation for my DH and it is very serious....I won't contribute to an environment that could be the reason for his demise...my choice....when my husband got sober, our house became a dry house. If we have a gathering, it is a dry gathering....having alcohol could kill my husband, not having it is not going to kill anybody. I have an unnatural liking for girl scout cookies and if they are in my house, I will eat them....so we keep them out of the house! Same for alcohol.
That aside however, I do not drink anymore...I stopped when I was pregnant and nursing and just haven't started up again. My husband never asked me to stop, I made the decision for myself that alcohol was seriously hurting my marriage and my DH was a suffering alcoholic....why tempt him? He is sober now...5 months...and going strong and I don't feel right drinking and then coming home with it on my breath for him to smell. My opinion is that this is a life or death situation for my DH and it is very serious....I won't contribute to an environment that could be the reason for his demise...my choice....when my husband got sober, our house became a dry house. If we have a gathering, it is a dry gathering....having alcohol could kill my husband, not having it is not going to kill anybody. I have an unnatural liking for girl scout cookies and if they are in my house, I will eat them....so we keep them out of the house! Same for alcohol.
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: UPSTATE NY
Posts: 57
I Can't Believe How Selfish... 
LOOK I DO NOT MEAN TO SOUND RUDE..BUT GET A GRIP...DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT IS TO STOP DRINKING??NO YOU DON'T SINCE YOU ARE NOT AN ALCO...AND SINCE YOU ARE NOT..WHY IS IT SO DIFFICULT FOR YOU NOT TO DRINK...??THIS SHOULD NOT EVEN BE A QUESTION...SORRY IF THIS SEEMS HARSH..BUT ANOTHER THING..IF IT CAUSES SO MUCH TENSION..AND HURT TO HIM WHY DO YOU DO IT...??/MAYBE YOU SHOULD RETHINK YOUR ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP...BECAUSE SOMEONE WHO IS STRUGGLING TO STAY SOBER..NEEDS THE OTHERS FULL SUPPORT..AND WHY YOU WOULD QUESTION THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE I DO NOT KNOW...IT IS NOT HIM TRYING TO CONTROL YOU..BUT ASKING FOR YOUR SUPPORT 100%...AND IT REALLY SHOULD NOT BE A PROBLEM IF YOU HAVE A SOLID RELATIONSHIP..IT'S COMMON SENSE...AND RESPECT...WELL I GUESS YOU KNOW WHERE I STAND...I HOPE YOU THINK ABOUT IT...
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Where the sun always shines!
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I think LADYANGOLA has a good point as well as StandingStrong.
It is hard to stop a habit when someone else is doing the same thing in front of you. I know that at times I crave chocolate. When I'm trying to loose weight is the worst time. If I see someone eating a chocolate bar or chocolate ice cream, it makes my cravings worse and harder to resist.
Support is number 1 in a relationship. How can you ask him to stop doing something you have no intention of stopping yourself? I agree with the whole "I need to do what makes me happy" concept, but is him being miserable because of something you're doing really making you happy?
It is hard to stop a habit when someone else is doing the same thing in front of you. I know that at times I crave chocolate. When I'm trying to loose weight is the worst time. If I see someone eating a chocolate bar or chocolate ice cream, it makes my cravings worse and harder to resist.
Support is number 1 in a relationship. How can you ask him to stop doing something you have no intention of stopping yourself? I agree with the whole "I need to do what makes me happy" concept, but is him being miserable because of something you're doing really making you happy?
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
Hang on, shel has said that she doesn't drink at home. Her husband is not there when she drinks. If she is not an alcoholic, then why on earth should she not have a beer when she's out on her own if she wants? Support and compromise is the one thing that she has done, by the sounds of things.
If I lived with a diabetic, I may not eat chocolate cake in front of them, or even have any in the house, but I certainly wouldn't abstain if I was out without them.
Love
Minnie
xxx
If I lived with a diabetic, I may not eat chocolate cake in front of them, or even have any in the house, but I certainly wouldn't abstain if I was out without them.
Love
Minnie
xxx
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 390
Quiting
My plan was to quit drinking for the time being. But now, since he found my posts, he is buying booz for me. Bringing home a bottle for me, or making a drink and bringing it to me. I think he is trying to get me to drink so that he won't feel so bad about drinking himself! (See my post "He's trying to make me drink" )
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: MN
Posts: 103
OK OK ....I see both sides of this issue.....and can realte to the smoking thoughts, as I have tried to quit myself and is MUCH harder when you live with someone that smokes and isn't trying to quit..point taken!
BUT Ladyangola........maybe you didn't read MY post ..(and I don't mean to sound rude either ) BUT...I DON"T drink in front of him or in my house....the CONTROL issue is what he has by when he is not with me he ASSUMES that is what I am doing ..which is not always the case...in my opinion it is becasue when he would go with his friends that is all he ever did, was drink until he was drunk.....he cannot "get a grip" (as you say) that I can go to dinner with a friend and not drink until I am ready to pass out....is it jealously perhaps..but then WHY should I "change" if he isn't willing too? "Rethink the relationship"...YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD! I have been "rethinking" my relationship with this man for many months now.....is drinking more important to me? NO, but my self worth and sanity are...
and Jessica ......you say "how can you ask him to stop doing something that you are doing" I have NEVER asked him to stop drinking.....and the ONLY reason (in my opinion) he has stopped for now is becasue he has 2 options, being on house arrest and not drinking or drinking and going to jail.
thanks for the thoughts........and like I said I do see both sides ....I guess I should have posed my question differently...more like "does anyone else have a partner who is sober becasue of legal issues and is trying to control you, becuase if they can't , you can't)....
BUT Ladyangola........maybe you didn't read MY post ..(and I don't mean to sound rude either ) BUT...I DON"T drink in front of him or in my house....the CONTROL issue is what he has by when he is not with me he ASSUMES that is what I am doing ..which is not always the case...in my opinion it is becasue when he would go with his friends that is all he ever did, was drink until he was drunk.....he cannot "get a grip" (as you say) that I can go to dinner with a friend and not drink until I am ready to pass out....is it jealously perhaps..but then WHY should I "change" if he isn't willing too? "Rethink the relationship"...YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD! I have been "rethinking" my relationship with this man for many months now.....is drinking more important to me? NO, but my self worth and sanity are...
and Jessica ......you say "how can you ask him to stop doing something that you are doing" I have NEVER asked him to stop drinking.....and the ONLY reason (in my opinion) he has stopped for now is becasue he has 2 options, being on house arrest and not drinking or drinking and going to jail.
thanks for the thoughts........and like I said I do see both sides ....I guess I should have posed my question differently...more like "does anyone else have a partner who is sober becasue of legal issues and is trying to control you, becuase if they can't , you can't)....
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Join Date: Apr 2004
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Posts: 103
thanks Minnie............at least someone READ my post!! LOL
and yes cupowater.....he did that very same thing to me..I would guess just so he wasn't drinking alone..and when I refused it etc....would just be one more thing HE had to drink because it was already open or already made!!
and yes cupowater.....he did that very same thing to me..I would guess just so he wasn't drinking alone..and when I refused it etc....would just be one more thing HE had to drink because it was already open or already made!!
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: UPSTATE NY
Posts: 57
Lets Be Real
WELL I KNEW THERE WAS MORE TO THIS THEN YOU POSTED AT FIRST...THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU HAVING AN OCCASIONAL DRINK AT ALL...LIKE YOU SAID I HIT THE NAIL RIGHT ON THE HEAD..THIS IS ABOUT SHOULD YOU STAY OR LEAVE.....I AM SURE THERE HAVE BEEN MANY PROBLEMS AND ISSUES...THROUGH OUT IT IS DIFFICULT TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP W/A DRUNK PLAIN AND SIMPLE....BUT THE CHOICE IS YOURS TO MAKE...AND IT DOES SOUND LIKE YOU DO NEED TO RETHINK...THIS RELATIONSHIP..I DOUBT VERY MUCH THAT HIM WANTING YOU TO STOP DRINKING IS THE PROBLEM AT ALL...SO MANY TIMES WE FIGHT AND ARGUE..ABOUT SOMETHING AND NEVER REALLY GET TO THE CORE OF THE PROBLEM I SUSPECT THAT IS WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE...THE FIRST THING YOU NEED TO DO IS BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF...AND REALLY WIEGH ALL OPTIONS..MAYBE THIS IS NOT THE RELATIONSHIP YOU NEED OR WANT FOR THE MATTER..AND IF THAT IS SO THEN YOU NEED TO REALLY DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY....BUT PLEASE STAY FOCUSED ON WHY ARE YOU WITH HIM...THINGS CHANGE PEOPLE CHANGE...SOMETIMES THE PAIN SOMEONE HAS CAUSED YOU EVEN THOUGH PAST STILL CUTS AND HURTS LIKE AN OPEN WOUND..IT SOUNDS TO ME LIKE YOU ARE PRETTY HURT...AND YOU NEED TO HEAL THAT...SO I HOPE YOU...REALLY GIVE SOME THOUGHT TO HOW TO DO THAT...MY PRAYERS ARE W/YOU..IT IS DIFFICULT TO SEE THE TRUTH SOMETIMES...WE WANT SO HARD TO BELIEVE IN FOREVER LOVE.....HANG IN THERE...
Last edited by LADYANGOLA; 02-11-2005 at 08:04 AM. Reason: CHANGED MIND
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Ladyangold...... to be honest NO my life right now IS NOT better than when he was drinking........it is his leagal issue that is causing him to be sober for the moment.....and like I said maybe it is not DRINKING that is the issue....it is the fact that I have relationships with people that do not involve drinking.......and he doesn't think I need those relationships....its CONTROL!!
and yes DIABETICS can DIE from eating the wrong things ..and YES people do DIE from Diabetes..which is a DISEASE just like Alcoholism......and people who late in life find out they have adult onset diabetes do have to change their lifestyle completely!!
and yes DIABETICS can DIE from eating the wrong things ..and YES people do DIE from Diabetes..which is a DISEASE just like Alcoholism......and people who late in life find out they have adult onset diabetes do have to change their lifestyle completely!!
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Join Date: Apr 2004
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Posts: 103
Ladyangola..........ok so I was posting at the same time as your last post......thanks you are right .....I am VERY hurt....and drinking really ins't the issuse...but that is what ALWAYS seems to be his focus .......I have changed tremendously ......and he is not liking that change...like a counselor said ....I am up here and he is still down here...why should I stifle my progress to "wait" for him ......I need to do what is best for me and my children....yes people do change but to what extent should i be compromising my life and the lives of my young children to see or wait for the change?
thanks for your prayers......
thanks for your prayers......
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: UPSTATE NY
Posts: 57
Read My Last Post...i Did Edit It...i Agree It Is Not About Drinking
Shel..i Did Edit My Last Post..please Look Up And Read..i Agree 100%...your Problems Have Nothing To Do With You Having An Occassional Drink....your Relationship Is A Mess Altogether..and You Really Need To Try And Do What Make You Happy...even If That Means Leaving...only You Control Your Happiness...i Wish You All The Best... 
It is what it is!!!
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Sobriety
Posts: 5,767
Shel -
I think there is a fine line regarding the subject of your first post. I don't know your H or his specific situation. But from my experience, if he is an alkie without anykind of program I am sure control is a huge issue with him.....and yes I speak from my own experience being the addict/control freak that I am LOL.
I agree that if you can home at night and popped open a cold beer in front of him there might be something wrong with that
.
But when someone, I dont' care who it is, tries to control who another person sees or what they do with that person that is wrong.
Follow your instincts, you know you are not doing anything wrong.
I have these 2 girlfriends that we always do lunch together every few months. Well for a while I stopped going cause they always have a glass of wine or a margarita or something, they are not alkies/addicts like I am. Depending on where my head is, how good of a program I am working at the time seems to define how much it bothers me when they do that. It took me a few years to realize that. We are not in my home, I choose to go with them. It is up to them if they have a drink or not, not up to me. If my head is not in a good space I dont' go. It is that simple. I dont' go to bars, I dont' go anywhere where the focus is only drinking, this is just lunch or dinner out with the girls. I realized when I am not focusing enough on my program I get jeleous that they can have that one glass of wine and I can;t. That is my disease talking.
I agree that there is alot more going on in this relationship than just this issue, you admited it yourself. Follow you gut instinct, and continue to take care of yourself.
Sometimes we have to walk the line between taking care of ourselves and caving into someones control issues.
I think there is a fine line regarding the subject of your first post. I don't know your H or his specific situation. But from my experience, if he is an alkie without anykind of program I am sure control is a huge issue with him.....and yes I speak from my own experience being the addict/control freak that I am LOL.
I agree that if you can home at night and popped open a cold beer in front of him there might be something wrong with that
.But when someone, I dont' care who it is, tries to control who another person sees or what they do with that person that is wrong.
Follow your instincts, you know you are not doing anything wrong.
I have these 2 girlfriends that we always do lunch together every few months. Well for a while I stopped going cause they always have a glass of wine or a margarita or something, they are not alkies/addicts like I am. Depending on where my head is, how good of a program I am working at the time seems to define how much it bothers me when they do that. It took me a few years to realize that. We are not in my home, I choose to go with them. It is up to them if they have a drink or not, not up to me. If my head is not in a good space I dont' go. It is that simple. I dont' go to bars, I dont' go anywhere where the focus is only drinking, this is just lunch or dinner out with the girls. I realized when I am not focusing enough on my program I get jeleous that they can have that one glass of wine and I can;t. That is my disease talking.
I agree that there is alot more going on in this relationship than just this issue, you admited it yourself. Follow you gut instinct, and continue to take care of yourself.
Sometimes we have to walk the line between taking care of ourselves and caving into someones control issues.
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Originally Posted by Shel
and Jessica ......you say "how can you ask him to stop doing something that you are doing" I have NEVER asked him to stop drinking.....and the ONLY reason (in my opinion) he has stopped for now is becasue he has 2 options, being on house arrest and not drinking or drinking and going to jail.
I just know that from my experience, my AH has triggers and one of them is when he smells alcohol he is more than likely to start craving - I should not have implied it was the same in yours.
I agree with you on the control issue and him assuming that's what your doing when you're not - You know, looking at this from the other side now, I can see why that would be frustrating to my AH when I assume he's been drinking and he hasn't. Thanks for that insight.
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Join Date: Apr 2004
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Posts: 103
well said and point taken Paulie........it is a fine line.....and me being a codie do waiver on both sides of that line ...so I am sure that confuses him too! and I hear you about the program ....he (in my opinion) is just going thru the motions..has been in his current program for nearly 6 weeks.....and went to his first AA meeting (requried by the TX) and when done..claims that the bathrooms were locked and had to walk across to the bar to pee there......and I figure the only reason he told me is when i got there to pick him up he was walking out....guess he couldn't use the bathroom at the pizza place right next door to that bar????
thanks again .......
thanks again .......
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