KATIE77

Hi

My girlfriends and I went out for a drive last night. Who should we bump into in a bar but AB (now ex) and some of his friends. He was sober!!!!! He came over and said hi and sat next to me. (he would never do this drunk) He made polite conversation. My girlfriends decided it would be nice to go to another bar altogether. I said I was tired so would go back home.As they all moved on to another bar I noticed he was still sat next to me. He was nervous (biting nails) and unsure of how to act. Im sure this was because he was sober. Then again it could have been he was uncomfortable around me. He normally is rolling around .... the life and soul of the party.

He made 1 beer last 40 mins!! I left the bar and he followed and offered to walk me to my car. When we got there he said "Katie, Please just hold me" I asked why? but he just hugged me real tight and buried his face in my neck. He said he missed me and thinks about me all the time. I love him so so much. It was really hard but I moved him away. I tapped his arm and said bye. Got in my car and drove off. He just stood watching me. My heart broke once again.

My girlfriend called this morning and one of his mates had told her once again last week he was really ill and taken to ER. She was worried I had been with him sober and decided to try again.
Do you think he realising?? Is it beginning to click it his drinking which has driven me away?? He has been in hospital, picked up by the police, slept with one of my friends, even caught at it a few weeks ago by me in the house!.

Then again maybe not, I know the by the weekend he will be as drunk as anything, sleeping around with wh*res!! Why did I have to see him like this sober??? This is how he used to be. I am trying so so so hard to move on but finding it hard. I see him in my head and the images wont go. He still has feelings for me (as I do for him) but wont sacrifice the alcohol.

I cant be second best and the thing is when you are in love with an A, you will aways be. Arrrrrrgggggggghhhhh!!!

Thanks for letting me vent

cupowater

((((((((((KATIE77))))))))) A broken heart is the worst thing.

splendra

(((((Katie)))))

Bless your heart.....

MysticCat

((((Katie)))) Good for you sticking to your ground. It must have been hard. So many times it is hard to listen to our head over our hearts. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Blessings,
MysticCat

minnie

(((Katie)))

I know how hard this is, believe me. Just remember, you only saw him sober this one time. Remember how many times you saw him drunk.

Hang in there.

Love

Minnie
xxx

sunshinebluesky

yes its only once...i just finally ended my relationship with the ab AGAIN. part of the problem is we imagine what COULD be. like i tend to think of him being with someone else and SOBER. someday. and that i could miss out on that. but the question is WHEN is someday, if ever.? or i will even go as far as to think of him with someone else who enjoys drinking as much as he says he does, and them having a good time together. but in reality i know thats ALL they would have.....not a good RELATIONSHIP.
pm me if ya want....im sure this isnt gonna be easy for me either, to stick with it.....but try and stand your ground and let time go by...............

minnie

sunshine's right, we grieve for the partner we wish they were, not what they really are now.

Don't give away your power, girls!