dirty laundry

Old 02-09-2005, 06:59 AM
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dirty laundry

I have been enjoying taking my daughter to school so much...........I feel like we are bonding..........she is so happy in the morning and so am I..........schedule change was so worth it..........

I have decided to take another stand in my life...........I have repeated many times over to my MIL to not go through my dirty laundry and take out my daughter's clothes and my H clothes and take them home and wash them..........It makes me feel inadequate, like I am not doing a good enough of a job........It would be one thing if she through a load in at my house to help out, but to seperate my H and my daughters clothes and bring them to her house and wash them to me is another hidden dig.... I have told them I dont want her going through my dirty laundry, to me that is personal.........I dont want her to know what color of underwear I wear.........(I just dont like it)

Even though I have requested this MIL doesnt care and does it the clean shirts that she hung up, that (I dont no when she took them home) but they arrived hung up on my bedroom door yesterday. So I changed my bed this morning and and was carrying the basket down stairs in the basement to wash them, I noticed the shirts, I took them off there hanger, I balled them up and put them in the basket and of course they were on top, because it was the last thing I put in there............well I left the basket in my kitchen, Knowing she would see them when she came over this afternoon to pick my youngest daughter up at the bus stop.........(which she dont have tooo) but that is the only way she can make sure that my youngest daughter has eaten, because I am obviously incapable of doing that............

okay, immature on my part yes...........but if she see's her hard work balled up in the basket to be washed again ......maybe she will get the hint that way, Please dont go through my laundry and pull out my H's and Youngest daughter's clothes. I am perfectly capable of doing laundry. Maybe not the way she does it...............but different and different is okay.
Old 02-09-2005, 07:04 AM
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the girl can't help it
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Good for you Gracey!!!!

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Old 02-09-2005, 07:04 AM
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You could always pack up your H's laundry and give it to her next time you see her.That way, she doesn't go through your basket and you don't have to do his laundry. Lol!

I'm glad to hear you're taking back your power. And especially glad that your new working hours are suiting you and Bree.

You're doing great.


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Old 02-09-2005, 07:32 AM
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Gracey!!!! - I love it
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Old 02-09-2005, 07:33 AM
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gracey - you sly dog you! personally i don't think she'll get the message - from the sounds of it she might just get indignant about it, but you felt like you needed to do it this way and if it makes you feel more empowered, so be it!

it's wonderful to hear that your time with your daughter in the morning isletting you become closer. this is only bound to have a positive effect on her and you too! i am happy for both of you.

hugs - chris
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Old 02-09-2005, 07:39 AM
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No More Mrs. Nice Guy
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Good for you... taking back your power is always a good thing. And it sounds like its having a positive effect on your relationship with your daughter.

(side note: Why not just let her do the whole basket? Yours, his, daughter's... tell her how much you appreciate her taking on such a BIG LOAD (hee heee) so that you can spend time on more important things? And while she's at it, maybe she could vacuum and dust and start supper???

Hugs and love

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Old 02-09-2005, 07:42 AM
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I have the same

"titles" she has.

I am a Mom-in-law, I am a grandmother. As a member of both groups, I am embarrassed by her behavior!

No wonder your other half has problems with correct behavior--My goodness!

It is true we relax our normal boundries in our homes with visiting family. But this is WAY beyond the norm. WAY, WAY beyond! I can't help but wonder what else she goes through while in your home.

I applaud your efforts with taking back your life! :great
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Old 02-09-2005, 08:10 AM
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Gracey,had to laugh...was thinking of your MILs... look on her face when she found those shirts in laundry. Reminds me of a joke....
Q. What does a vampire and a mean mother in law have in common?
A. Other than fangs, nasty temperaments, an overbite and wanting to suck out all your life's blood, absolutely nothing.
Your MIL has alot of gall and a spineless son. What a combination!!
Think you are handling the problem....Brilliantly !!
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Old 02-09-2005, 08:15 AM
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She would never do mine and my two older kids..............she will pick through the basket till she finds my H's and my youngest daughter's, see they are her own............

I really dont want to be mean............I just want to get my point across...........asking please doesnt work.........

I think these are her ways of segregating my family.............bringing bree over snacks only...........only having bree stay the night, only buying Bree birthday presents, only buying Bree clothes, only washing her clothes and my H's..........

I am not going to try anymore, for her to except my family, I am going to do what I want to do from now on, and i am going to take my feelings into consideration first. It is my home, my children, and my dirty laundry.........................She could have a daughter-in-law, and three grandchildren instead of just one........I am no longer going to play her game..........I am no longer going to restrain myself from saying how I feel............I am going to be upfront and honest in a polite, respectful way, but let her know how it is going to my home...........When I get home today, I will tell her why they are in the basket...............
Old 02-09-2005, 08:25 AM
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:bravo :Terrific :congrats
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Old 02-09-2005, 09:02 AM
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No More Mrs. Nice Guy
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Now I get it, and she's just a nasty person. I used to believe that everyone has something nice in them... but as I've aged I have learned that some people are just NASTY.


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Old 02-09-2005, 09:07 AM
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I'd pack up the whole laundry basket & put it in the trunk of my car... If she can't find any dirty laundry around, she can't dig through it! A few days of that & maybe she'll get the hint
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Old 02-09-2005, 10:27 AM
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{tap}{tap}...Is this thing on?
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I think you are doing great and planning on telling the MIL why you acted the way you did is a healthy step for you. I have to remind myself this over and over again

What other people think of me is none of my business, but how they treat me is.

MIL is treating everyone with disrespect, including her son and Bree. And she can be told that her behavior is unacceptable - it won't kill her. If her son won't do it, either because he can't or won't, then it's up to you.

You've got it together Gracey, and no one can take it away from you unless you let them. We're allowed to and should create an environment for ourselves that is serene. In your case that just might involve not having someone picking through the laundry and there is everything in the world right with your decision.

Wishing you a good evening,
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Old 02-09-2005, 12:48 PM
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Wipe your paws elsewhere!
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Let's all stand up together and do the "wave." You go girl. Glad to see that you're putting your foot down and letting your MIL know she's overstepped her bounds. It is absolutely unkind and unacceptable that she treats your H and Bree differently than the rest of your family. You are right to resent this behavior. It's hurtful to you and even more hurtful to your other children. You are right, you simply can't let this go on.

So, here's an idea to really drive home your point. How about you pack up Bree's laundry, hubby's laundry, your laundry, and your other two children's laundry in individual packs. Then place them in a place where she's sure to find them, with a note attached that reads, "Since you seem to enjoy doing laundry, here's an idea, why not do EVERYBODY's laundry." And oh yes, "No Starch, Please."

She'll get the hint loud and clear. You've tried being nice, but she doesn't seem to get the point. So, make your point very clear. Your MIL will likely be offended, but she'll respect you more when you start standing up for yourself. And little by little, she'll learn that there are consequences to her unkind actions.

Of course, if that doesn't work, you could always pat her on the back when she's on the way out the door, and clandestinely attach a stupid sign....
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