i know it's over
 

i wish he would just go away. i love him, but can't stand him. i think that i love him. i don't know if it's love or if i feel sorry for him. i have been with him for ten years. it has been years of hell. he has no one to care about him but me. that makes me feel guilty when i make him leave. we moved 1400 miles away from home so that he could get away from drugs. now his is an A. what was the point? we have 2 young children and one child that passed way. i got my self trough that why can't i get away from him. it hate being around him i hate my kids around him when he's drinking. i need help, wisdom and support.

I'm so sorry to read this. I don't have any advice for you but just wanted to let you know someone is out here and thinking of you. I am new to all of this, trying to get my feet wet before deciding what to do. ((hugs)) to you!

sorry to hear you are in this predicament. I hope you can find some peace with whatever you choose to do. If you do indeed choose to leave, i would start by making a plan - don't be in too big of hurry as you might forget to take care of something important, or might lose something in the home that has special meaning to you. Get finances in order, get car in your name if possible, get auto insurance in your name (actually, we should all probably do these things even if we stay.)

I truly am sorry. I know this situation stinks. I just left my AH of 15 years. Take care and try to find some peace for yourself soon!

We are all in about the same boat--that's why we are here--I'd say read all you can
from these posts--you will see that you are not alone and people here care. My
other thought is the same as Wray's--plan ahead--you have been dealing with this for awhile so take a little time and prepare yourself for what's next. Work on your
recovery be coming here and maybe attending alanon and plan ahead for your
next move. Smiles and Prayers--Dee