No drama.....
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Where the sun always shines!
Posts: 1,625
No drama.....
No drama for me last night. I enjoyed a nice quiet evening at home. Had the kids in bed at 9:00 and actually got to read a little bit of my "Co-Dependant No More".
I've been thinking - As I went through the day yesterday, it seemed every time I started up a conversation with someone, it was about my AH. I really am addicted. I don't like that at ALL. For the last 14 years, the only thing I've ever had to talk about was how frustrated he makes - he did this, and he did that... (Except when I had my kids). Knowing is half the battle, ya know....
Thank you all for your support. I love SR. I don't know what I'd do without you guys.
I've been thinking - As I went through the day yesterday, it seemed every time I started up a conversation with someone, it was about my AH. I really am addicted. I don't like that at ALL. For the last 14 years, the only thing I've ever had to talk about was how frustrated he makes - he did this, and he did that... (Except when I had my kids). Knowing is half the battle, ya know....
Thank you all for your support. I love SR. I don't know what I'd do without you guys.
No More Mrs. Nice Guy
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Iowa
Posts: 724
Jessica,
It's not so different for us when we first find recovery. Many of us are so caught up in the drama and chaos that we feel a bit empty and lost when it subsides or goes away. On my "girls night out" I used to be the one with the outrageous stories of what he did and what she said and the police that came.... when I finally got into Al Anon and started detaching and concentrating on ME, then I wasn't the one with the incredible stories anymore.
I came to realize that somewhere along the way I had lost myself - I didnt have any activities or interests that were mine and MINE alone, or anything interesting to tell about just ME and my life. It took awhile to find those things again.
Hopefully your quiet evenings at home will become more of the norm. Just take it one day at a time, and know that things can change.
Hugs and love
Barb
It's not so different for us when we first find recovery. Many of us are so caught up in the drama and chaos that we feel a bit empty and lost when it subsides or goes away. On my "girls night out" I used to be the one with the outrageous stories of what he did and what she said and the police that came.... when I finally got into Al Anon and started detaching and concentrating on ME, then I wasn't the one with the incredible stories anymore.
I came to realize that somewhere along the way I had lost myself - I didnt have any activities or interests that were mine and MINE alone, or anything interesting to tell about just ME and my life. It took awhile to find those things again.
Hopefully your quiet evenings at home will become more of the norm. Just take it one day at a time, and know that things can change.
Hugs and love
Barb
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 390
Complaining
Yes, I find myself doing that a lot too. I guess because it is so much on our minds! I don't like myself when I do that. It's good that I can come here and "vent", because i am sure that people around me get tired of hearing it.
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Where the sun always shines!
Posts: 1,625
Originally Posted by cupowater
It's good that I can come here and "vent", because i am sure that people around me get tired of hearing it.
No More Mrs. Nice Guy
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Iowa
Posts: 724
Courage to Change One Day at a TIme in Al-Anon II
July 13 reading
How many days of my life have I wasted? I missed the joys of my children’s early years be-cause I was preoccupied with the alcoholic. I rejected overtures of friendship from co-workers so that I could fret uninterrupted about what was bothering me. Not once during those days did I think about my right to enjoy the day.
Al-Anon has led me to see that I have choices, especially about my attitudes. I don’t have to see my life as a tragedy or torment myself with past mistakes or future worries. Today can be the focus of my life. It is filled with interesting activities if I allow myself to see it with a spirit of wonder. When my worries and sorrows cloak me, the laughter and sunshine of the everyday world seem inappropriate to the way I feel. Who is out of sync—the rest of the world or me?
Today’s Reminder
Today I will live in the present and find what I can to enjoy there. If there is pain, I will accept that too. But my pain does not have to completely overshadow the enjoyable parts of my reality. I will participate in making more of my joy. I may join in a conversation at work or at a meeting, tell a joke at the dinner table, or laugh with a friend. Just for today, I might even allow myself to sing.
“Look to this Day!
For it is Life, the very Life of Life.”
From the Sanskrit Salutation of the Dawn
July 13 reading
How many days of my life have I wasted? I missed the joys of my children’s early years be-cause I was preoccupied with the alcoholic. I rejected overtures of friendship from co-workers so that I could fret uninterrupted about what was bothering me. Not once during those days did I think about my right to enjoy the day.
Al-Anon has led me to see that I have choices, especially about my attitudes. I don’t have to see my life as a tragedy or torment myself with past mistakes or future worries. Today can be the focus of my life. It is filled with interesting activities if I allow myself to see it with a spirit of wonder. When my worries and sorrows cloak me, the laughter and sunshine of the everyday world seem inappropriate to the way I feel. Who is out of sync—the rest of the world or me?
Today’s Reminder
Today I will live in the present and find what I can to enjoy there. If there is pain, I will accept that too. But my pain does not have to completely overshadow the enjoyable parts of my reality. I will participate in making more of my joy. I may join in a conversation at work or at a meeting, tell a joke at the dinner table, or laugh with a friend. Just for today, I might even allow myself to sing.
“Look to this Day!
For it is Life, the very Life of Life.”
From the Sanskrit Salutation of the Dawn
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Javatown
Posts: 92
I agree with all of the posts!
My interest that I've further developed is home improve projects. It is so much fun -especially the finished results. I'm learning to finish what I start and to really plan things out ahead, which is great for me. This weekend there is one of those big convention shows for projects and I am going, alone WITH myself.
This spring I plan to help out with Habitat for Humanity, which will be a great time. It was lonely for me to explore my own thing at first but now I really enjoy it and look forward to all the fun stuff. My active A is still in my life, and insted of asking myself when I'm going to leave him, what to 'do' about my relations with him blahblahblah; I'm learning to turn it over to HP.
Keep on moving forward!
~Red
My interest that I've further developed is home improve projects. It is so much fun -especially the finished results. I'm learning to finish what I start and to really plan things out ahead, which is great for me. This weekend there is one of those big convention shows for projects and I am going, alone WITH myself.
This spring I plan to help out with Habitat for Humanity, which will be a great time. It was lonely for me to explore my own thing at first but now I really enjoy it and look forward to all the fun stuff. My active A is still in my life, and insted of asking myself when I'm going to leave him, what to 'do' about my relations with him blahblahblah; I'm learning to turn it over to HP.
Keep on moving forward!
~Red
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