01/25/2005
{tap}{tap}...Is this thing on?
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Getting There
Posts: 276
01/25/2005
Communicating
. . .armed to deal with whatever comes.
One couple never told each other anything negative if they could avoid it. They always protected each other from bad news. Their neighbors, however, were not that careful about what they said. They had a positive attitude but they believed that reality was not to be shaped or measured in their words, so they just laid it on the line with each other.
The first couple seemed more sedate and calm while their neighbors seemed more in turmoil. But over time, the first couple's protective attitude worked like a wedge that drove quiet distance between them as more and more unresolved issues were ignored or sugar-coated. The second couple always clearly knew what was going on. They did not have to wonder what the truth was behind each other's words, and they dealt with issues as they arose. Time brought them more deeply into the lively embrace of their trusting relationship.
Bad news is part of life, just as good news is. When we engage life we do not shy away from problems; we do our loved ones the favor of speaking the truth. Then our relationships are armed to deal with whatever comes.
From the book, The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum
. . .armed to deal with whatever comes.
One couple never told each other anything negative if they could avoid it. They always protected each other from bad news. Their neighbors, however, were not that careful about what they said. They had a positive attitude but they believed that reality was not to be shaped or measured in their words, so they just laid it on the line with each other.
The first couple seemed more sedate and calm while their neighbors seemed more in turmoil. But over time, the first couple's protective attitude worked like a wedge that drove quiet distance between them as more and more unresolved issues were ignored or sugar-coated. The second couple always clearly knew what was going on. They did not have to wonder what the truth was behind each other's words, and they dealt with issues as they arose. Time brought them more deeply into the lively embrace of their trusting relationship.
Bad news is part of life, just as good news is. When we engage life we do not shy away from problems; we do our loved ones the favor of speaking the truth. Then our relationships are armed to deal with whatever comes.
From the book, The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum
{tap}{tap}...Is this thing on?
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Getting There
Posts: 276
C -
As I read this, I shuddered b/c it PERFECTLY described my first marriage. But HP willing not my marriage now. Sometimes I think I should just resort to mental and emotional vomiting of what's on my mind - that way it is out there without all the packaging that I so desperately want to put around it so it is well accepted.
Good luck with your situation. I have faith that you will make it work... Peace!
As I read this, I shuddered b/c it PERFECTLY described my first marriage. But HP willing not my marriage now. Sometimes I think I should just resort to mental and emotional vomiting of what's on my mind - that way it is out there without all the packaging that I so desperately want to put around it so it is well accepted.
Good luck with your situation. I have faith that you will make it work... Peace!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 5,691
petunia - good analogy - i guess it's just part of the codie thing of wanting everything nice and neat and also not wanting to put up with the backlash of "head vomit" i will get in return. thanks for caring and sharing.
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