I have come to the conclusion....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: a state of unrest
Posts: 383
I have come to the conclusion....
That he is only kind to me when he thinks I will have sex with him.
I took the kids to church, came home and he had started drinking. He sat on the couch and watched me paint, cook dinner, do dishes, and laundry. He did unload the dishwasher then thought he deserved sex for all his hard work!!!! I told him he should leave me and go find himself a *****.
You guys I really can't stand this anymore. It's like the better I get the worse he treats me. He complains about everything and is always blowing things so out of proportion it's crazy.
If I tell him to leave he just says some crap about if I left how could you afford anything... I don't care about that. I just want QUIET!!!!
Mindi
I took the kids to church, came home and he had started drinking. He sat on the couch and watched me paint, cook dinner, do dishes, and laundry. He did unload the dishwasher then thought he deserved sex for all his hard work!!!! I told him he should leave me and go find himself a *****.
You guys I really can't stand this anymore. It's like the better I get the worse he treats me. He complains about everything and is always blowing things so out of proportion it's crazy.
If I tell him to leave he just says some crap about if I left how could you afford anything... I don't care about that. I just want QUIET!!!!
Mindi
{tap}{tap}...Is this thing on?
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Getting There
Posts: 276
Mindi,
Honey, you have some extra prayers coming your way to help you make it through today. I saw this thought from over the weekend and then saw your post and knew my HP had me look at if for a reason today.
I am asking my HP to send you some peace and quiet.
Petunia
************************************************** **
Resent Somebody
The moment you start to resent a person you become that person's slave. He or she controls your dreams, absorbs your digestion, robs you of your peace of mind and good will, and takes away the pleasure of your work.
A person you resent ruins your spirituality and nullifies your prayers. You cannot take a vacation without that person going along! He or she destroys your freedom of mind and hounds you wherever you go. There is no way to escape the person you resent.
That person is with you when you are awake and invades your privacy when you sleep. That person is close beside you when you eat, when you drive your car, and when you are on the job.
You can never have efficiency or happiness. The person you resent influences even the tone of your voice. He or she requires you to take medicine for indigestion, headaches, and loss of energy. That person even steals your last moment of consciousness before you go to sleep.
So if you want to be a slave, harbor your resentments.
From the book Twelve Step Prayer Book - Second Edition
Honey, you have some extra prayers coming your way to help you make it through today. I saw this thought from over the weekend and then saw your post and knew my HP had me look at if for a reason today.
I am asking my HP to send you some peace and quiet.
Petunia
************************************************** **
Resent Somebody
The moment you start to resent a person you become that person's slave. He or she controls your dreams, absorbs your digestion, robs you of your peace of mind and good will, and takes away the pleasure of your work.
A person you resent ruins your spirituality and nullifies your prayers. You cannot take a vacation without that person going along! He or she destroys your freedom of mind and hounds you wherever you go. There is no way to escape the person you resent.
That person is with you when you are awake and invades your privacy when you sleep. That person is close beside you when you eat, when you drive your car, and when you are on the job.
You can never have efficiency or happiness. The person you resent influences even the tone of your voice. He or she requires you to take medicine for indigestion, headaches, and loss of energy. That person even steals your last moment of consciousness before you go to sleep.
So if you want to be a slave, harbor your resentments.
From the book Twelve Step Prayer Book - Second Edition
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: a state of unrest
Posts: 383
I don't know if I can make it anymore I am sick of everything, I'm so sick of being sad I thought I was doing so well I feel so awful today I hate that I've wasted all these years being treated like I have been I hate that I've let my kids see him treat me this way
Im sorry for complaining but I have to get it out
Mindi
Im sorry for complaining but I have to get it out
Mindi
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Carrollton TX
Posts: 466
I know the feeling Queen, I promise. some days, you just wonder how in the hell you got to where you are, and where the 'real' you went. That's okay - you are here to help work through some of that noise and get on the track to a healthier life - with or without your AH. You vent and complain away - let it all out - then let it all go - and figure out something positive to do for yourself. We are where we are - so we can stay stuck, or we can move ahead in some ways and improve things...it's up to us - and we have all the power it takes to do it! It's just finding it that seems to be the trouble! hang in there sweetie... someone on one of these posts once said the difference between a bad day and a good day, is about 2 days. That keeps me going sometimes...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 5,691
mindi - as we get better in our recovery i think it becomes more apparent the things we were oblivious to before and it can get you very frustrated. that's why it's so important to have a sounding board (sponsor, this forum) etc. so you can "let it all hang out". we're here to listen to the good, the bad AND the ugly and help each other! sending peace and serenity to you!
{tap}{tap}...Is this thing on?
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Getting There
Posts: 276
Mindi,
One thing that I struggled with then and sometimes moreso now, is beating myself with the "why didn't I do things differently" bat. One of our SR friends has the signature - We did things the best we knew how. When we knew better, we did better".
That is my reminder and motiviation to keep today from being like a day in the past. I've got a chance to make this day different in some way - it may be a small thing but it is mine to change. As Peaches noted - I can stay stuck or I can make a change. You've already made a change by realizing what you don't want anymore. That is a step towards change.
My heart is out for you, Mindi. You deserve to be cherished and loved, by yourself most of all. I wish you some peace this afternoon.
Petunia
One thing that I struggled with then and sometimes moreso now, is beating myself with the "why didn't I do things differently" bat. One of our SR friends has the signature - We did things the best we knew how. When we knew better, we did better".
That is my reminder and motiviation to keep today from being like a day in the past. I've got a chance to make this day different in some way - it may be a small thing but it is mine to change. As Peaches noted - I can stay stuck or I can make a change. You've already made a change by realizing what you don't want anymore. That is a step towards change.
My heart is out for you, Mindi. You deserve to be cherished and loved, by yourself most of all. I wish you some peace this afternoon.
Petunia
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: a state of unrest
Posts: 383
Thank you again.
I think sometimes I feel overwhelmed with all this getting better buisness. But I have to take it one day at a time and today just happens to be a bad one but I am going to try move on. I think I am going to go to the movies with the kids and buy a bunch of junk food and have fun with the rugrats!
Mindi
I think sometimes I feel overwhelmed with all this getting better buisness. But I have to take it one day at a time and today just happens to be a bad one but I am going to try move on. I think I am going to go to the movies with the kids and buy a bunch of junk food and have fun with the rugrats!
Mindi
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