MysticCat

Petunia, I am still laughing all these posts later! I also notice that when I make any type of comment about how proud I am of any improvement, he reverts back. I think it is more of a comfort thing. He knows I am on edge, verge of leaving, he sees me relax, open up, be more loving, and BAM, his que to revert back to his comfort zone! Sorry no help here!

MysticCat

bluester

This is a toughie,which does depend on your AH's personality. Its like having another child around. Do you praise him for being good for his going a whole week without drinking or do you keep quiet and rebel to yourself for his accomplishment? Think I would keep quiet and see what his mood was..then maybe I would say something simple and not make a big deal out of it. I have read some posts on here that have said the first week was easy...but the second,third and following weeks,get tougher with the shakes,mood swings and so on. Take it one day at a time and see how it goes. Think I would give big praise after a year!!!

equus

When my hubby stopped he made it out to be really easy. He said 'Ok it wa a bit hard sometimes but nowhere near as hard as drinking'. I did thank him though, I thanked him for doing something for our future. I was just honest with him about how I felt with regard his drinking.

Now he's back to drinking 'occassionally' (2 X a week!!) I don't say anything on the non drinking days. I know he's fighting it or he would be drinking every night, I know he's fought it for years. I know right now he's losing ground and he knows it too. I don't think he wants praise right now - he doesn't seem to.

cupowater

He was in a good mood last night again, but said he wasn't feeling well. He said that he had called the doctor (which he NEVER does) to make an appointment because he thinks his blood preasure was high, and that he couldn't get in for a month. So, I don't know. I feel like if I say something to him to praise him or otherwise, he will just try harder NOT to drink because he would want to prove that he isn't an alcoholic and dosn't have a problem. (denile!)

itsgreen

Wow! Great advise. I never thought the praise would trigger the A's drinking again but it does in my case. I guess I better stop saying anything positive or negative. I'll just show him I love him and leave his behavior for him to deal with.