Only You Know Your Pain!
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Ma
Posts: 145
Only You Know Your Pain!
For several months I have been reading these posts and taking comfort, learning and actually sharing a laugh over situations that often are not that funny. It is a great resource. Today when sending a quick reply to someone, I began to think a little more on the subject. I then thought not of people in my situation but those that are dating an alcoholic, recently married, or perhaps recently discovered your spouse does have this disease or sadder, perhaps your child.
"My situation?" One who married but did not realize until years later that there is a problem. If I can, I would like to talk to those in the first category, newbie's if you will. You will read many things and then in time begin to post your own questions and perhaps ask for more specific advice, not answers mind you, but advice. If you remember anything please let it be this.
The information we provide, while based on experience, pertains to folks in general and NOT your specific situation. If after reading some response's you do not feel as if it applies to you or your situation, it probably doesn't.
Only YOU, know the depth of the problem you are facing.
Only YOU know how hard it has been to deal with your alcoholic.
Only YOU, know the sadness and pain that this has brought into YOUR life.
Only YOU know how much this problem has forced you to lie, to those you love.
Only you know the fear as it grips you and holds you and the fear of the baby waking up..
Only You know the tears you cry
or the night's awake thinking and dreaming of that special life YOU thought awaited YOU. The perfect spouse, house, and kids.
So in a move borne out of desperation you find these boards. You take some comfort that others seem to be dealing with similar problems. Sometimes it seems to be dead on, while at other times it is way off. Perhaps you hope to read "leave" and find a lot of people saying "stay". The opposite happens also. You want advice on staying and we seem to scream leave. In the end it s up to you.
I urge most B/F and G/F who are dealing with this to leave. Time does not make it go away. Why? Because I believe we all deserve the right to happiness. I am not saying we are all unhappy; it is just that alcoholism pours another dimension onto the relationship that makes it much more difficult. Also, I would advise my daughter the same way. That a man (or woman) who is active in this disease cannot and eventually will not be able to have a normal relationship. Sober (actively not drinking) perhaps. But I would tell her to run and protect herself. I would say that she deserves more happiness than this current situation allows.
So remember your exact situation Is different. ONLY YOU know the right thing to do about YOU. Peace
"My situation?" One who married but did not realize until years later that there is a problem. If I can, I would like to talk to those in the first category, newbie's if you will. You will read many things and then in time begin to post your own questions and perhaps ask for more specific advice, not answers mind you, but advice. If you remember anything please let it be this.
The information we provide, while based on experience, pertains to folks in general and NOT your specific situation. If after reading some response's you do not feel as if it applies to you or your situation, it probably doesn't.
Only YOU, know the depth of the problem you are facing.
Only YOU know how hard it has been to deal with your alcoholic.
Only YOU, know the sadness and pain that this has brought into YOUR life.
Only YOU know how much this problem has forced you to lie, to those you love.
Only you know the fear as it grips you and holds you and the fear of the baby waking up..
Only You know the tears you cry
or the night's awake thinking and dreaming of that special life YOU thought awaited YOU. The perfect spouse, house, and kids.So in a move borne out of desperation you find these boards. You take some comfort that others seem to be dealing with similar problems. Sometimes it seems to be dead on, while at other times it is way off. Perhaps you hope to read "leave" and find a lot of people saying "stay". The opposite happens also. You want advice on staying and we seem to scream leave. In the end it s up to you.
I urge most B/F and G/F who are dealing with this to leave. Time does not make it go away. Why? Because I believe we all deserve the right to happiness. I am not saying we are all unhappy; it is just that alcoholism pours another dimension onto the relationship that makes it much more difficult. Also, I would advise my daughter the same way. That a man (or woman) who is active in this disease cannot and eventually will not be able to have a normal relationship. Sober (actively not drinking) perhaps. But I would tell her to run and protect herself. I would say that she deserves more happiness than this current situation allows.
So remember your exact situation Is different. ONLY YOU know the right thing to do about YOU. Peace
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