Making a list
Barely There
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Adelaide Sa
Posts: 39
Making a list
Still trying to stay true to myself so now I have made a list of why I am at this stage in my life and why I have decided to take the kids and leave.
I don't know if it's a healthy thing to do but when I start to feel "Oh maybe he will change this time" I read the list and that brings me back to reality. The list does not contain feelings - just facts so I try to keep it as unemotional as possible. It seems to be working so far.
Unfortunately the last entry is "verbally threatened to rape me". My AH has never shown any aggression before - verbal or physical so this is all new to me. But I guess if I don't draw the line here the next level is too horrible to contemplate.
Please keep your fingers crossed for me!
PS going to get that book I hear about all the time "co-dependent no more" too - sounds good.
I don't know if it's a healthy thing to do but when I start to feel "Oh maybe he will change this time" I read the list and that brings me back to reality. The list does not contain feelings - just facts so I try to keep it as unemotional as possible. It seems to be working so far.
Unfortunately the last entry is "verbally threatened to rape me". My AH has never shown any aggression before - verbal or physical so this is all new to me. But I guess if I don't draw the line here the next level is too horrible to contemplate.
Please keep your fingers crossed for me!
PS going to get that book I hear about all the time "co-dependent no more" too - sounds good.
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
I made a list once after the Beav said "You have never done anything for me" and I was wracked with guilt. It was one of the best things I have ever done...I have never felt that guilt again.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 5,691
ooww jt - that is a great list to make - i am sure we have all heard that one before. i think i may start a list like that!
(((audrey))) you sound like a woman well on her recovery road. thank you for sharing!
(((audrey))) you sound like a woman well on her recovery road. thank you for sharing!
Barely There
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Adelaide Sa
Posts: 39
It's still harder than I thought - have made arrangements to leave but now he is playing Mr Nice Guy and I can feel the second thoughts creeping in when I am around him. When I am away from him I can think clearly so I am going to try to avoid him as much as possible.
Still can't believe it has come to this. But I have my list and I know why it is so.
Thanks for your support guys!!!
Still can't believe it has come to this. But I have my list and I know why it is so.
Thanks for your support guys!!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Where the sun always shines!
Posts: 1,625
Originally Posted by Audrey72
have made arrangements to leave but now he is playing Mr Nice Guy and I can feel the second thoughts creeping in when I am around him.
When I am away from him I can think clearly so I am going to try to avoid him as much as possible.
When I am away from him I can think clearly so I am going to try to avoid him as much as possible.
Dee at Mt Bully
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Placerville, Ca
Posts: 251
Audrey--keep reading that list--threats about rape are never funny or to be taken lightly--verbal abuse is usually followed by physical abuse. Keep reading and adding to that list. Sorry you are going through this I'm sure it is tough but it sounds like you have a good plan. Prayers--Dee
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