Melanchonika

Hello.....im hoping some of you here may be able to give me some of the ins and outs of the program.

at your meetings, are first and last names shared????

when you get a sponsor, are you told to go to a certain amount of meetings a week?

when in sponsorship, must you volunteer for service? attend other functions al-anon related.......parties.....conventions,etc?

are you told that you should not say no to requests to service,etc?

I am struggling with the thought of losing some of my freedom (which will not happen.....wont let it) by being involved in the program. there were no requirements upon attending meetings, except that a friend or family memeber struggles with alcoholism. now it seems strings may be attached.

I want to grow in the program and beleive it has lots to offer. however, i will not completely lose my identity in it.

can anyone help me?

jalacola

Only first names and last initials. The principal is anonimity. I am new to al-anon so I don't yet have a sponsor. My feeling is that if a sponsor is asking you to volunteer for service (which I don't know what that would be as I am new), it would be so that you would benefit from it. You know the theory...You get back what you put into it--definitely applies to alanon as well. The more you put in, the more you get back. I am sure that you could just go to meetings, but I would think that you might benefit more than if you were just a fly on the wall. I can't wait for the day that I walk into a meeting and everyone knows me by name!

nocellphone

Every meeting I've been to has been first name only. Al-Anon's Twelfth Tradition states that "Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles above personalities." Another nice reminder is "Whom you see here, what you hear here, when you leave here, let it stay here". I've even seen a member decline to give her name whatsoever, which is perfectly allowable.

My sponsor has never made demands of me, nor do I make demands of sponsees.

Nope, nope, nope and nope. I do those things because I choose to, and because I feel my recovery is strengthened through such things. Service can be as subtle as putting literature out at the meeting, setting up chairs, even sharing at a meeting. I find conventions to be wonderfully relaxing and inspiring.

I've heard that, but there are no "musts" or "shoulds". Sometimes I do the thing I fear to do for the benefits I gain from walking through the fear.

That's the only requirement.

My guess is that you will be able to define your identity even more clearly through involvement, no matter how limited, in recovery. I know I did.

I hope this helps!