JennyK

In a time of crisis, I am not alone. And I have bad hair.

I have been feeling so lost and alone and scared and terrified and furious and sad over the past few months. I have been totally confused, feeling one way one minute and another way the next minute. I have been REACTING to every situation.

I drew the line last night. And I will stick to it. My husband is going to in house rehab next week and until then, if he shows up at the house drunk, I am taking the children to a friend (who I have FINALLY told about our situation and she was been wonderful). I doubt he will come home drunk.

When he is gone I imagine that I will be spending my time caring for my children. Although he is a drunk, my husband is also a primary caregiver to our young children and his lack of physical presence will be vast.

I looked in the mirror tonight and I saw how I look to the outside world. I am shocked that no one has commented. I have the hugest bags under my eyes, my hair is in desperate need of coloring (don't ask WHY, as it is a waste of money, but I am stuck in the if I don't color it will look so weird stage) and needs to be cut, I have not had new clothing in 10 years and times are changing...I just look bad and sad and poor and tired.

I know that my husband going to rehab is going to change none of that. I NEED to take better care of myself. Thankfully the stress has not had the "eat it all" effect on me, so I can still fit into my 10 year old clothing....pathetic as it is. I need to be spiffy or I need to stop looking in the mirror. The person I see looking back at me is NOT me.

I have to find me again.

I will start with the hair.

Jenny

Bambi

Jenny funny I am in the same boat pretty much. Husband will be going away soon after his court date for who knows how long right now, and I also haven't had my hair colored in so long it looks horrid. I need to have that done I know it will make me feel better. I can't even seem to get myself out of the house I am so depressed now. But I know fixing my hair will help me feel better.

So you go girl, work on yourself and feel better!! :bravo

minnie

Jenny and Bambi

I hope both of you are going to do something for YOU today. I know exactly where you are coming from, and it's not a nice place to be. But you deserve a bit of pampering right now. You can both use the upcoming time on your own to focus on yourselves and the kids - please don't waste it fretting about your OHs.

Jenny - if I had to name ONE thing that has helped me the most over the past few months, it is learning not to react. It has taken the drama right out of my life which can only be a good thing. I have stepped out of the "games" and refused to participate. Not always easy and the games get subtler, but I now have the time and space to think about what is going on, rather than thinking after the event.

Take care of yourselves.

Love

Minnie
xxx

TinyVoice

Living with my Abf, I definitely did the "eat it all". I gained back all the weight I had lost after my divorce. He's been totally gone a few weeks now and I've already lost 5 pounds. I'm working out again, I JUST got my hair done...I'm feeling better most days. Yesterday was a bad one. I still have those. I'm still recovering myself.

Be kind to yourself. You deserve it.

HUGS

Buster

use the time away from your H to look after YOU. Do something for yourself at least once a week if possible. Hook up with old friends and have a laugh - take a bath or just run around the house in your P.J's and read a book.....you need to take care of YOU...he will be getting all the help he needs in rehab

cwohio

jenny - you have recognized the need for change in your life and are taking care of the emotional. now you also need to give yourself a self esteem boost and do something nice for yourself physically (haircut/color, etc.) doing just one of those things truly will make you feel better - do something nice for yourself EVERYDAY, even if it's just an extra 5 mins. in bed in the morning. YOU DESERVE IT!!!! get up and hug yourself every morning!