another vent sorry.......I am just full today
 

I want to make a not very nice phone call today..................my MIL bought some sweaters for my daughter for Christmas who is seven......

My daughter was telling me this morning, how granny told her to tell me, for me not to wash the sweater, because they need to be washed a special way...........obvioulsy my MIL didnt think I could handle doing it...........

I have a sock box in my home.........pretty much I mate for the week or if I dont get time to.........they know right where to go to find there own.........of course I always help my seven year old..........but I figure the two older ones can handle the task......the laundry is always done......so the sock box is always overflowing with socks...........it is really not that hard to find a match.....sometimes it can be a challenge.............lol

Anyway...............my MIL obviously dont like the way that I do that either........because she went through the sock box.....and collected all my youngest daughter socks and put it in a bag and tied it up, like she was going to take it home and mate it............the problem that I have with it..............is that when I went in my sock box.......too look for socks for my youngest daughter..........no wonder I had a hard time finding hers.............MIL took all hers out and bagged them........for what I can only assume..........

I want to call her and tell her to keep the things she buys for my daughter at her house.........and quit giving my daughter the Impression that I am not capable of handeling things.

She went through stuff at YOUR house?

No wonder you need to vent!!

Keep going - you'll feel better.

It's nice to have you back.

Love

Minnie
xxx

man gracey - she is a real gem - obviously she thinks she has imminent domain wherever she goes. i'd be really pi**ed too. it sounds like she bought the "special wash" sweater with that in mind. would it really do any good to tell her those things?

She feels very comfortable doing whatever she wants in my home, while I am not there............she has this thing where she feels like she needs to go through my dirty laundry if I have any........and take my H home, or (her grandaughters home) to wash them.

I admit that sometimes during the work week it may get behind some...........but I always catch up on the weekends.........very rare if I dont...........but isnt that my perogative (SP)

I am really uncomfortable with her going through my dirty laundry.............(do you know what I mean)..........the help I wouldnt mind so much...........it is the going through the laundry and taking home her sons and Bree's only......Although I dont want her bringing my home to do...........I guess if she is going to help fine.............just do it at my house..........know what I mean.....

Thank you for the welcome back minnie..........I have been around............posting responses some............but evaluating things a bit.....I need to do alot more reading and learning...........it is time for me to make steps forward in my recovery, I have been doing alot of soul searching..............

I am so grateful for this site..:)

I love your posts!!! keep em comin!!!

Mindi

there's a difference with genuinely wanting to help you and just rubbing it in your face. it's quite apparent that by just taking your h and bree's stuff that she is "rubbing it"! i would feel violated too if someone came in and picked thru my laundry and not because they were sorting it by wash temp. you have every right to do your laundry whenever it fits your schedule! it would be too bad if you had to lock your dirty laundry up so she couldn't get at it! UNBELIEVABLE.

i am saying a prayer right now for you!

Thank you cwohio:)

Much needed prayer...................thank you, If you say a prayer for me, say one to give me the right words to say to her so I dont lower myself to her level............my feelings are never thought of, when things like this get done......and instead of holding it in ...............I am going to say it nice............but very much get my point across, and if no one likes it they can (well never mind that)

I gotta laugh a little. My mom went nuts when I put my kids to doing their own laundry at an early age.
I figured if they could whiz thro' all those computer games, they could figure out how to turn the dial on the washer and dryer.

When my mom told my daughter what a lousy housekeeper I was, pulling out my couch and sweeping under it etc. this on a weekend visit. I thought about it for a few days and wrote her a letter that if she was so uncomfortable in my house, I would be happy to make reservations for them at the Holiday Inn next time.

That has been almost 20 years ago and she has never stayed over again, they get a hotel room!

Gracey - I thought I was the only one that did that with socks!! I'm thankful for this site, everyday it makes me feel a little less "crazy".... either that, or we're ALL crazy!!!

Chrisitne

gracey - the prayer has just been said. i know you will find the right words and not lower yourself! maybe you could have 2 piles - bree's & h's and 1 for all other. tell her you will have her pile ready for her the next time so she doesn't have to take the time to sort - ha!

hang in there lady - you are great!

((Gracey))
Laundry is a thankless task.... hmm maybe you could call and say THANK YOU and tell her you are on your way over to pick up the sox & H's stuff and you'll bring over the rest of his dirty clothes.. hmm might be a little too sarcastic, I know, send him over drunk to do it - nope, still sarcastic.
My ex MIL used to rearrange my kitchen everytime she came to visit ... luckily we lived miles away for most of the marriage. No matter what I said, I never was able to change this behavior. I came to the conclusion that it wasn't worth my aggrivation since it wasn't often. If she had lived closer ... well, luckily that's a bridge I didn't have to cross.

Gracey,

And that is just the stuff you KNOW she is getting into. I would put something in there that would make her never want to look in there again. a dead something, her sons favorite dirty mag, a hamper full of chocolate pudding...mmmm I could have serious fun with this..

Oh, you guys are great............I left a little nighty on my bedroom floor, with matching panties, If you can call them that............I did it on purpose because everyday she would come over to my house and she would go in my bedroom and sit on the bed and visit with my H.............I told them I thought they were freaks..............what happen to the normalcy of sitting in the kitchen or the living room to visit..........and she always made sure that she was gone, before I came home............I would go upstairs to see the pizza she brought over for my H and Bree............(see they didnt want the other kids to have it) so it had to be eaten upstairs in my bedroom.......................Like the other kids wouldnt know, or couldnt smell it................they are just **sholes the whole bunch of them........................they are freaks I say..............

I guess it even bothered me more.........because my H would have a fit........if my oldest daughter came in our room......I told him that my daughter has more of a right to be in my room than your mother............it became ugly guys............So I finally said something to her............myself..........

wow! Dude is married to his mom!
I know as a mom how hard it is to let go, but this is too freaky.
and the hiding the foods from the other kids.......ooooooooo bad words, lots of bad words!

eek - okay guys - this whole thread has made me grateful for the wonderful relationship i have with my MIL and she would never do anything like some i have read about here!

I can get pass alot of stuff I really can...............I have learn to let go of some things.............She doesnt go in my bedroom anymore.............

These are just some things that bug me.............but I have learned it is not my H fault that she does these things.....and he feels like he is in the middle half the time......he says I am not the one that does it..........I cant help how she feels........I cant change anything...............I say BS to that..........but hey he was getting me nowhere fighting with him about things she does......so I decided to take it upon myself when I have a problem with something and just let her know it..................in a kind enough way, but a way to get my point across......

I was just reminded this morning how inadequate she thinks I am through my seven year old daughter and that bugs me.............so I decided to tell her about it when I get home by a phone call of course because she wont be there when I get home from work.

Gracey,

I love CW's idea of having a pile for her to take with her. Truly you are a patient woman to put up with this MIL. Shame she isn't MIA ( ;) )

I don't know what I would do if someone invaded my privacy to the degree that your MIL has/does but she is not minding the normal boundaries of her married son and his wife.

I am saying a prayer that you keep all the progress that you have made so far fresh in your mind as you speak to her.

All the best,
Petunia

I think this is the most entertaining thread I've ever read! Thanks to all of you!