Help me please!
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My A Kinda hids his. He will put his bottle under some trash in the trash can. We have 2 trash cans in the kitchen, and sometimes I transfer some trash into the other one so I can just take one bag out. So I kinda lay the bottle twards the top on purpose just to "get" to him. I know, Codie behavior. But you have to do SOMETHING for fun! Last year when I moved the couch to put the tree up, I found about 6 or 8 bottles (fifths!) under the couch! I just shoved them back under the couch when I moved it. After that night, they were gone!
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Join Date: Jul 2004
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got in late on the second part of this thread. yes i can absolutely tell when my ah has been drinking - little mannerisms, etc. i think we focused on that for so long that it has become second nature.
i used to react by either getting angry or sulking silently - niether of which help so i don't say anything now and do like a lot of you - just try to steer clear if he is annoying (unless he follows me around which he sometimes does).
i used to react by either getting angry or sulking silently - niether of which help so i don't say anything now and do like a lot of you - just try to steer clear if he is annoying (unless he follows me around which he sometimes does).
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Your post!
Jalacola, wonderful post! “I have just gotten to the point where I can say nothing and go about my own business. I just ignore him, which pisses him off to no end. He wants to be all loving and touchy-feely when he is drunk and I refuse. I don't say a THING or ask him if he has been drinking. C'mon. We all know when they have. So, it is much calmer and I can remain less stressed without the fights. Does this mean I am happy? Well, not necessarily. HappIER, maybe, but not happy...but I am getting there.” Sounds like your whole situation and mind frame is like mine! Good to know I’m not alone!
JennyK, I like how you put that! “
Someone once suggested to me to create in my mind 2 husbands and be prepared for either to walk in the door. If ED comes home, then I react in one way...great sober husband and a night related to that. If NED comes home, then I react to that, not in a mean way, but just be prepared to change my expectations for the rest of the night.” I have been doing this all along, but didn’t realize it!
Wraybear, I understand how you feel. That’s a hard place. My kids are 22 and 19, and I am so mad that they have to sit and watch their father be so drunk and do things like leave the burner on (gas/fire) and the pot he is cooking on on the OTHER burner that is off, and slurring his words, stumbling, and worse then that, lecturing them about stuff they have done or need to do while he is obviously drunk! Even though the things he lectures about may have a good point, it’s not setting a very good example. These are young men who need good strong leadership from their father. THAT sickens me!
Great post! :bravo
JennyK, I like how you put that! “
Someone once suggested to me to create in my mind 2 husbands and be prepared for either to walk in the door. If ED comes home, then I react in one way...great sober husband and a night related to that. If NED comes home, then I react to that, not in a mean way, but just be prepared to change my expectations for the rest of the night.” I have been doing this all along, but didn’t realize it!
Wraybear, I understand how you feel. That’s a hard place. My kids are 22 and 19, and I am so mad that they have to sit and watch their father be so drunk and do things like leave the burner on (gas/fire) and the pot he is cooking on on the OTHER burner that is off, and slurring his words, stumbling, and worse then that, lecturing them about stuff they have done or need to do while he is obviously drunk! Even though the things he lectures about may have a good point, it’s not setting a very good example. These are young men who need good strong leadership from their father. THAT sickens me!
Great post! :bravo
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Join Date: Aug 2004
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I also can tell the very minute he walks thru the door if he has been drinking or not, or if he calls me etc. After dealing with it for so long it is second nature I guess.
I am past the games of saying you were drinking weren't you, and him telling me NO. I just get sick to my stomach and go in another room now.
I am at a point where I have given up. I feel like I have given up myself, and everything else in my life. I am not strong enough to leave him, so I can't blame him anymore, it is my fault now.
I am past the games of saying you were drinking weren't you, and him telling me NO. I just get sick to my stomach and go in another room now.
I am at a point where I have given up. I feel like I have given up myself, and everything else in my life. I am not strong enough to leave him, so I can't blame him anymore, it is my fault now.
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Join Date: Sep 2004
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My AH said five words on the phone and I could tell. I didn't bother to ask. I know I'd get lied to. Besides, what's the point?
Bambi, maybe you are at your bottom. Now you need to go back up. You don't have to be strong enough to leave him. But you can start living your own life.
Bambi, maybe you are at your bottom. Now you need to go back up. You don't have to be strong enough to leave him. But you can start living your own life.
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