Just me again~
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: North America
Posts: 362
Just me again~
Hey Everyone!
Just thought I would give the ole' update to my situtation...
I am feeling sooo good! The celexa has really been helping and I have been feeling great.
My A came back home, and was there all this past week, until Friday night when he wanted to take my car out, I stood my ground, told him no that I did not trust him and he was sooo pissed and did not understand. I told him he ruined the trust with me, and it would take LOTS of time to rebuild that. He then threatened me with the...well drop me off...(meaning that the other woman would pick him up) I told him, let me get my keys and we can be on our way. He couldn't beleive it, I could not really beleive myself either, the old me would have been crying and begging him not to go~ or I probobaly would have let him take the car, but there was NO way I was going backwards, not now.
I was actually relived that he wanted to leave. He has so many things in hiself he needs to work out. I can't fix him, or make it all better for him. Nor, do I need to be drug along the bumpy road either. I enjoy my space, peace of mind, my daughter and time with her...I like my life.
I do miss him, who he use to be, but I did try my best to make things or hope they could work. I've come so far, and for once in my life a step backwards, feels too wrong to me.
Since his mother moved last week, there is plenty of space over there now for his things. The next step in my OWN time, will be to take his things over there. I know I could make him do it, but to avoid conflict I will just do it.
I truly beleive he thinks he can come back anytime he wants to, and expect everything to be ok. It is not ok anymore, and I KNOW I will be just fine without all the chaos he brings to my and our daughters life. So, then the next time he calls or shows up I can just say...Hey your things are at your mothers, you know why, and you know what has to happen for you to come home. Period. Thats how I feel.
I took several steps back with the "new" friend, had a long talk with him last night, I told him I did not expect him to wait on me, or anything like that, but that I needed space, and did not need to feel pressured at all. He told me he liked me alot and would be there. I am not counting on that, and I dont care either way if he is or not. We had a good time last night, mainly because I was glad I was honest with him. One day at a time is all I can do.
Ok, this was longer than I expected, but it feels good to share victory over my "stinkin thinkin" with you all.
Hey, ya'll know what? The light at the end of the tunnel gets brighter as you get farther away from the darkness. I will keep following it and moving foward....
Love to you all!
Just thought I would give the ole' update to my situtation...
I am feeling sooo good! The celexa has really been helping and I have been feeling great.
My A came back home, and was there all this past week, until Friday night when he wanted to take my car out, I stood my ground, told him no that I did not trust him and he was sooo pissed and did not understand. I told him he ruined the trust with me, and it would take LOTS of time to rebuild that. He then threatened me with the...well drop me off...(meaning that the other woman would pick him up) I told him, let me get my keys and we can be on our way. He couldn't beleive it, I could not really beleive myself either, the old me would have been crying and begging him not to go~ or I probobaly would have let him take the car, but there was NO way I was going backwards, not now.
I was actually relived that he wanted to leave. He has so many things in hiself he needs to work out. I can't fix him, or make it all better for him. Nor, do I need to be drug along the bumpy road either. I enjoy my space, peace of mind, my daughter and time with her...I like my life.
I do miss him, who he use to be, but I did try my best to make things or hope they could work. I've come so far, and for once in my life a step backwards, feels too wrong to me.
Since his mother moved last week, there is plenty of space over there now for his things. The next step in my OWN time, will be to take his things over there. I know I could make him do it, but to avoid conflict I will just do it.
I truly beleive he thinks he can come back anytime he wants to, and expect everything to be ok. It is not ok anymore, and I KNOW I will be just fine without all the chaos he brings to my and our daughters life. So, then the next time he calls or shows up I can just say...Hey your things are at your mothers, you know why, and you know what has to happen for you to come home. Period. Thats how I feel.
I took several steps back with the "new" friend, had a long talk with him last night, I told him I did not expect him to wait on me, or anything like that, but that I needed space, and did not need to feel pressured at all. He told me he liked me alot and would be there. I am not counting on that, and I dont care either way if he is or not. We had a good time last night, mainly because I was glad I was honest with him. One day at a time is all I can do.
Ok, this was longer than I expected, but it feels good to share victory over my "stinkin thinkin" with you all.
Hey, ya'll know what? The light at the end of the tunnel gets brighter as you get farther away from the darkness. I will keep following it and moving foward....
Love to you all!
Paused
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: CA
Posts: 25
Great post Bonbon...It's good to see someone maiking some smart choices. Alcoholics are so much like little children, we just need to know where the boundries are. Don't let this guy back into your life until he's had a 'psychic change'. You must feel terrific about setting your boundaries and then enforcing them. Don't backslide and give in, your A will probably take advantage if you do. Once again Congrats...
Member
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Butler Pa
Posts: 77
Bonbob
Sounds like you are moving right ahead and have some really clear thinking going on. Taking your life back from the addict and the addiction.. .that is quite an accomplishment . .a day at a time.
I liked that about the light at the end of the tunnel getting brighter. .Blessings Mo
Sounds like you are moving right ahead and have some really clear thinking going on. Taking your life back from the addict and the addiction.. .that is quite an accomplishment . .a day at a time.
I liked that about the light at the end of the tunnel getting brighter. .Blessings Mo
Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: That's what I'd like to know.
Posts: 2,416
Oh Bonbon!
This is such a wonderful post! You hit the ball right into his court... fair serve. If he wants to stay in the game, he has to play by the rules and keep in bounds. I love it. Rock on!
Love,
Smoke
This is such a wonderful post! You hit the ball right into his court... fair serve. If he wants to stay in the game, he has to play by the rules and keep in bounds. I love it. Rock on!
Love,
Smoke
Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: georgia
Posts: 531
Congrats on standing your ground. I for one will draw strength from your post. Love to hear the accomplishments!! You should be VERY PROUD of yourself.
I hope we all will soon see that light growing brighter at the end of the tunnel.
Constant
I hope we all will soon see that light growing brighter at the end of the tunnel.
Constant
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