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Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: MN
Posts: 103
Help
I know he is feeling down etc because he is on house arrest..but just becasue he is WHy do I have to pay the price?? any suggestions ? I am supposed to meet with some High School friends (like we do every year) for a little pre-new year since most of them are out of towners and the only time we get to catch up. But he is having a fit .....thinking I am doing something behind his back etc........then he called and said I need to take my son to the doctor...(becasue of a cold ...com'on) in an attempt to make me feel guilty and stay home with him ........I am so tempted to bring the kids with me just so I dont' hear it from him...........I know HE will get over it but how do I live thru his complaining!? he has already called me twice.........
thanks for your support advice in advance!
thanks for your support advice in advance!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: bowling green ky
Posts: 201
He's pissed because he can't go out and you can. Period. It's not your fault he is on house arrest. But- I am in a similar boat so can't talk. Mine isn't on house arrest- but he has no license for 2 more years because of two DUI's in a week. I know where you're coming from- just try to remember this.. you teach people how to treat you- and it's sounds like you are much like me- not a good teacher when it comes to your AH
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
Sounds like your husband is an expert at bringing out the co-dependent behavior in you. But he can only manipulate you if allow it. Sounds like he's trying to place you "under house arrest" so he doesn't have to serve out his sentence alone. You can choose to fall for this trap or you can choose to live your life as you see fit.
Perhaps the best way to help your husband is to allow him to be under "house arrest" all my himself so he can watch others enjoying life to the fullest. Perhaps then he'll come to the realization that there's much more to life than worrying about his next drink.
Perhaps the best way to help your husband is to allow him to be under "house arrest" all my himself so he can watch others enjoying life to the fullest. Perhaps then he'll come to the realization that there's much more to life than worrying about his next drink.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: MN
Posts: 103
UPDATE........I did go last night and saw some friends I havent' seen in a couple years...was a nice time chatting and catching up on old times! He did call twice and I didn't answer......evryone in bed when I got home....and then he had to put his 2 cents in......BLAH BLAH BLAH ....I didn't look at him and didn't say a word except YES I had a good time ...thanks for asking!! LOL
HERE'S TO A NEW YEAR!!!
HERE'S TO A NEW YEAR!!!
SADGIRLMR2
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Wichita, KS
Posts: 1
Haun, it's not your fault. He's just feeling guilty because he's on house arrest. Like the others have said, you have the opportunity to go out, he doesn't. plain and simple. You don't have to put up with his complaining. He doesn't run your life. You have kids. Take care of your kids. Quit letting him take over. By letting it get to you and ruin your life, you're letting him have last laughs and letting him have ultimate control of you emotionally. You need to take control over him. You can't let him run your life or ruin your life.
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
Three words: You go girl! Oops, that's five. Oh gee, now it's eight. When will it end?
Glad to hear that you went out and had a good time. Now, that's the way to start out the new year--taking care of yourself and enjoying life.
Glad to hear that you went out and had a good time. Now, that's the way to start out the new year--taking care of yourself and enjoying life.
May it be
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: A new day. Today I just see bright colors, in the small world of my dreams.
Posts: 384
way to go! glad you had a good time.
Several yrs ago, one of my relatives, was on house arrest for a yr, she didn't like it, but lived through it. Thru all this, she made up her mind, that it wasn't ever to happen again. Although, she will still drink, it's either at home, or someplace when she knows she won't be driving, or unless there is a designated driver. It's called reality of what the consquences can bring... It sounds so simple, but I have a abf (well almost an X abf) and this is like unimaginable for him, by the looks of it. It's to the point that it has me weary just thinking, looking at it, and after more than a yrs of trying to get some sense into him. I'm learning to Let Go, it's been a rough 2004... I toast my free sheetz coffee to a better 2005! Peace & Happy New Year
Several yrs ago, one of my relatives, was on house arrest for a yr, she didn't like it, but lived through it. Thru all this, she made up her mind, that it wasn't ever to happen again. Although, she will still drink, it's either at home, or someplace when she knows she won't be driving, or unless there is a designated driver. It's called reality of what the consquences can bring... It sounds so simple, but I have a abf (well almost an X abf) and this is like unimaginable for him, by the looks of it. It's to the point that it has me weary just thinking, looking at it, and after more than a yrs of trying to get some sense into him. I'm learning to Let Go, it's been a rough 2004... I toast my free sheetz coffee to a better 2005! Peace & Happy New Year
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