Is T Just Me Or,.....
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Astral Plane
Posts: 64
Hey Dee, I can make you feel better.....I am on second AH too, my first was recovering (more like dry) and that just wasnt enough fun, so I married a practicing A! You are not alone sweetie! I think we all have blonde moments!
And I too agree with the RUN advice. But, everyone wants to believe love will get you through anything, however, what do you do when the love is gone and the blinders are off....I am starting to believe that nothing lasts forever!
Blessings,
MysticCat
And I too agree with the RUN advice. But, everyone wants to believe love will get you through anything, however, what do you do when the love is gone and the blinders are off....I am starting to believe that nothing lasts forever!
Blessings,
MysticCat
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Ma
Posts: 145
Ouch!!
If that is a dig it is misdirected. I was just curious if others felt that "run" impulse click in. Then again if clear thinking means "retrospect" or Monday morning quarterbacking then I do think clearly.
If that is a dig it is misdirected. I was just curious if others felt that "run" impulse click in. Then again if clear thinking means "retrospect" or Monday morning quarterbacking then I do think clearly.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Crazyland
Posts: 22
My three year wedding anniversary and the end of my apartment rental lease is in June. I am seriously considering ending my marriage as well. And let me tell you it will be the hardest thing that I will have to do. We share no property and we have no children together...so you would think it would be easier. But it is not. I have read so many posts here and I have come to the conclusion for me (having been raised in a family where there is mental illness) that I can't imagine living with anymore insanity. I love my AH. And I too want to stand by him. I would like to believe that I could be strong for him in his time of need and that he would do the same for me. But it is not happening that way. To say the very least, "it's all about him". All the time.
Just wanted to put my two cents in.
Just wanted to put my two cents in.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Ma
Posts: 145
Hey Dreams,
I wonder if my situation was the same what would I have done? Perhaps thinking along the lines your thinking of. I certainly dont advocate ending marriages (not to get married perhaps) but alot of us have years of dealing with A spouses and it is not easy. The more years in the more complicated it gets. I dealt (deal) with a wife who has a problem. I think the behavior patterns are different. Men seem to be more "in your face" drunks or perhaps just the ones i read about here.
I would suggest you read more here. Despite not always agreeing with everyone there is alot of experience here and these woman can help you.
I wonder if my situation was the same what would I have done? Perhaps thinking along the lines your thinking of. I certainly dont advocate ending marriages (not to get married perhaps) but alot of us have years of dealing with A spouses and it is not easy. The more years in the more complicated it gets. I dealt (deal) with a wife who has a problem. I think the behavior patterns are different. Men seem to be more "in your face" drunks or perhaps just the ones i read about here.
I would suggest you read more here. Despite not always agreeing with everyone there is alot of experience here and these woman can help you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Baldwinsville, New York
Posts: 1
Running is it an option?
I've read all the posts here and most from married people who say there bf or gf. I was in a marriage that I put my whole sole into for 8 years with no help. He wasn't an alcoholic but he was a compulsive liar. When I got married I made a pact with God that I would stay married and do everything I can. I did and it still didnt work out.
Now, Im with my BF, yes boyfriend. I've been here for 8 years. Might as well be married. Whats the difference? A peice of paper? I still feel the same responsibilty to the relationship as I did when I was married. I realize and commend all of you who have been married a long time and have put up with this disease but please dont just tell us single people to run, run, run when you dont know the situation completely.
Now, Im with my BF, yes boyfriend. I've been here for 8 years. Might as well be married. Whats the difference? A peice of paper? I still feel the same responsibilty to the relationship as I did when I was married. I realize and commend all of you who have been married a long time and have put up with this disease but please dont just tell us single people to run, run, run when you dont know the situation completely.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Ma
Posts: 145
Wen,
I dont think anyone is advocating the RUN RUN method of relationships. My question was, Do others get the urge to tell someone to run, when they mention that my bf or gf is an alcoholic. Each relationship is different, and your right being with someone for 8 years is different than just meeting them. Basicly looking back, if on the first day you met your bf, and know all you know now would you stay or go?
My point is when someone says I have a BF or GF etc...my gut says RUN. Staying for 8 years puts the relationship in a different spot so my adivce may not be the same.......
I dont think anyone is advocating the RUN RUN method of relationships. My question was, Do others get the urge to tell someone to run, when they mention that my bf or gf is an alcoholic. Each relationship is different, and your right being with someone for 8 years is different than just meeting them. Basicly looking back, if on the first day you met your bf, and know all you know now would you stay or go?
My point is when someone says I have a BF or GF etc...my gut says RUN. Staying for 8 years puts the relationship in a different spot so my adivce may not be the same.......
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