Dreamsdeferred

My husband is drinking again. I have just finished reading "Marriage on the Rocks." And have learned that I am to mind my own business. That I am to not to interfere with his drinking. According to this book, to do so would only slow down the progression of the disease and thus slow down the possibility of his reaching the point he realizes he needs help.

This is so hard! And at this very moment I cringe every time I hear him opening another beer can.

I am still working on the first step, "that I am powerless of alcohol." And this is not easy. I just wanted to share my discomfort in the hopes that I could somehow objectively look at it. In the meantime I'll use the foot spa and give myself a pedicure. That usually relaxes me.

Thank you for letting me share.

Peaches04

Hi dreams! I heard of that book, and someone suggested I read that - I think it was my counselor actually! oh, do I know what you mean when that beer top pops...can turn my smile into an ugly look of hate and anger. You, on the other hand - sound like you are doing great!! A pedicure and a foot spa...now that sounds nice!!! Let me know if you recommend that book or not...I've read everything else I can get my hands on!!! merry Xmas!

Dee at Mt Bully

Hi Dreams--Ya the referigerator door opens then closes quietly and then the pop.
I know the sound and the feeling well. Like if you didn't hear the door or the pop
you would never know they are drinking --right-LOL--after trying to be quiet and
suttle about getting the beer to drink then he piles the emptys on the counter. Oh
the mind of the AH. It's very hard to ignore but it sounds like you have a good plan.
Please relax and enjoy your Christmas--don't let the AH ruin it for you. Smiles--Dee

junem

Sounds like you are doing the best to take care of you and that is all you need to do at this point. Good for you. I am a recovering alcoholic so I cannot say I know what you are feeling right mow but your actions speak volumes to me. Hang in there

dreamcatcher

The sound of the screw cap of the Kessler bottle, then the clink of putting it back in the cabinet then the gagging cough oh yes the alcoholic choir. Keep taking care of yourself, the choir just gets louder. Enjoy your pretty feet.

prodigal

Believe me, I still find that I have to go back to that first step when I realize I'm looking at the Scotch bottle under the sink to determine how many shots he's taken on a given day. I also try to keep him involved in "busy projects" just so he'll stay away from the booze. Never works. An alcoholic is going to drink if they want to drink. Period.

I am getting better at that first step because I repeat it, along with the serenity prayer, to myself several times a day. It works! Detachment begins to happen as well and I don't find myself getting dragged into his latest "drama."

It will get easier, but it takes time. Sounds like you're doing great!

Have a happy holiday!