Thoughts about this Board
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 407
Thoughts about this Board
I'd be willing to bet that everyone on this board was confused, stressed, panicked, beside themselves and hanging on by a thin thread when they finally found this site.
I'd also be willing to bet that everyone who came here was looking for someone who understood how they felt but most of all we came here looking for ANSWERS. We wanted someone to tell us how to fix the mess we were in, how to fix the person we loved that was an addict.and basically we just wanted to feel better.
Soon we all found out that we can't fix the addict, we can only work on ourselves. At first, that didn't make much sense but as time went on and we posted more and read more, it finally did.
We are all looking for people to talk to, someone to be there for us. This place does exactly that. It doesn't fix what is wrong but it gives us the support we need to get to the place that we each need to be.
For some of us, learning to live "happily" with the alcoholic is our goal. By learning and following the steps of Alanon that can be accomplished for some. There are many people on this site who have managed to do that and are willing to share their stories for the benefit of others.
For some of us, learning to live with the alcoholic is our original goal but as time passes and events happen, we come here to learn how to leave the alcoholic and start a new life. Fortunately, there are those willing to share those stories for the benefit of others.
This place has helped me so much to weather the storms. Without some very special people on this board I truly believe that I would have ended up having a nervous breakdown. In my case, this place helped me start a new life and I will be forever grateful.
Although this is no longer an official Alanon site, we do try to practice the principles. We aren't supposed to tell people what to do or how to live. We are not supposed to belittle anyone. We are not supposed to offer unwanted advice - except for one exception. That exception is if anyone is living in a dangerous situation. It can mean helping to save someone's life To know that others have done it can make it easier for those who are living in fear find a way out. My personal opinion is that many of us want advice and there is no reason not to offer it if it is asked for.
We are all looking for help. We all have different needs. We all have the same goals - happiness and safety. I have learned so much from so many different people here - those with a strong Alanon message and those who have shared their personal experiences. I think that we need them both. I remember when I first came here and posted and the awe I felt that people actually answered me and the cyber hugs actually helped me breathe better. It was and still is amazing.
We are so fortunate that this site exists. Remember that just like at an Alanon meeting - take what you want and leave the rest.
Happy Holidays to all.
Hugs, Jo
I'd also be willing to bet that everyone who came here was looking for someone who understood how they felt but most of all we came here looking for ANSWERS. We wanted someone to tell us how to fix the mess we were in, how to fix the person we loved that was an addict.and basically we just wanted to feel better.
Soon we all found out that we can't fix the addict, we can only work on ourselves. At first, that didn't make much sense but as time went on and we posted more and read more, it finally did.
We are all looking for people to talk to, someone to be there for us. This place does exactly that. It doesn't fix what is wrong but it gives us the support we need to get to the place that we each need to be.
For some of us, learning to live "happily" with the alcoholic is our goal. By learning and following the steps of Alanon that can be accomplished for some. There are many people on this site who have managed to do that and are willing to share their stories for the benefit of others.
For some of us, learning to live with the alcoholic is our original goal but as time passes and events happen, we come here to learn how to leave the alcoholic and start a new life. Fortunately, there are those willing to share those stories for the benefit of others.
This place has helped me so much to weather the storms. Without some very special people on this board I truly believe that I would have ended up having a nervous breakdown. In my case, this place helped me start a new life and I will be forever grateful.
Although this is no longer an official Alanon site, we do try to practice the principles. We aren't supposed to tell people what to do or how to live. We are not supposed to belittle anyone. We are not supposed to offer unwanted advice - except for one exception. That exception is if anyone is living in a dangerous situation. It can mean helping to save someone's life To know that others have done it can make it easier for those who are living in fear find a way out. My personal opinion is that many of us want advice and there is no reason not to offer it if it is asked for.
We are all looking for help. We all have different needs. We all have the same goals - happiness and safety. I have learned so much from so many different people here - those with a strong Alanon message and those who have shared their personal experiences. I think that we need them both. I remember when I first came here and posted and the awe I felt that people actually answered me and the cyber hugs actually helped me breathe better. It was and still is amazing.
We are so fortunate that this site exists. Remember that just like at an Alanon meeting - take what you want and leave the rest.
Happy Holidays to all.
Hugs, Jo
"What Now?"
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Kingport, Tennessee
Posts: 16
Thoughts about this board
What an excellent post, jojo. I have only been on here two days and I already am feeling better about myself. Your words expressed so eloquently how we all feel. Yes, we are in different situations, but all in all, we are the same.
Thanks. This made my morning.
Sam
Thanks. This made my morning.
Sam
Searching and tripping
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Back in my head
Posts: 1,194
Sometimes, it is hard not to tell someone, who is going through the same things you did or are currently going through what they should do. I go into protective mode. I don't want anyone to have to suffer. However, I totally understand that we are to follow the steps and traditions. I feel we all do in some way. But at the same time, reaching out through cyberspace and holding a hand of an injured alanoner can make all the difference in the world.
I truly wish something like this had been available 18 years ago. I feel my life would have been much more sane and healthy and also feel that I could have possibly prevented the onset of the horrid depression I've suffered from for 5 years.
This site may not be "approved" by AA/alanon, etc., but I once was a member at a site that was approved and the conflicts there between the members was insane. There were members who had the authority to "ban" you if you dare go beyond the teachings of alanon. Or if they didn't like what you said. It was an example of too many chiefs and not enough indians.
Here, we are free to speak our inner most thoughts and feelings. To openly express the gut wrenching fear, pain and, sometimes hate, that is tearing our souls apart. And to get the hug and love we deseprately need.
I firmly believe in alanon, meetings and working the steps. It's a very important part of our recovery. But again, to know in a moment, when reading the posts, that we aren't alone, is nothing short of a miracle.
I give thanks to God for this site and those who created it. You are willing to go out on a limb to help us. Others would have disbanded this site because they weren't approved, but you chose to keep it open and continue to help us.
Again, thank you to the creators of this site for your desire to help us heal.
Merry "Christ"mas, Kathy
I truly wish something like this had been available 18 years ago. I feel my life would have been much more sane and healthy and also feel that I could have possibly prevented the onset of the horrid depression I've suffered from for 5 years.
This site may not be "approved" by AA/alanon, etc., but I once was a member at a site that was approved and the conflicts there between the members was insane. There were members who had the authority to "ban" you if you dare go beyond the teachings of alanon. Or if they didn't like what you said. It was an example of too many chiefs and not enough indians.
Here, we are free to speak our inner most thoughts and feelings. To openly express the gut wrenching fear, pain and, sometimes hate, that is tearing our souls apart. And to get the hug and love we deseprately need.
I firmly believe in alanon, meetings and working the steps. It's a very important part of our recovery. But again, to know in a moment, when reading the posts, that we aren't alone, is nothing short of a miracle.
I give thanks to God for this site and those who created it. You are willing to go out on a limb to help us. Others would have disbanded this site because they weren't approved, but you chose to keep it open and continue to help us.
Again, thank you to the creators of this site for your desire to help us heal.
Merry "Christ"mas, Kathy
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Astral Plane
Posts: 64
Wow, yes this post was truley wonderful! Well spoken. I know when I came here, even though I have been involved with Alanon for years and years it is so reassuring to see the words of others that confirm I am not the only one in the world feeling what I am feeling and going through this. Keeps me from feeling like I am crazy at times. And as far as the "advice" goes, I never ask for advice, I ask for opinions and to me that is far more than advice. I am sure at times we would all like for someone just to tell us what to do, but we all know that we need to do what is best for us, and we are capable of making our own decisions. I thank each and every person who participates on these boards, the support here is amazing.
Love and Light,
MysticCat
Love and Light,
MysticCat
Dee at Mt Bully
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Placerville, Ca
Posts: 251
I understand the work and the need for alanon but even though I go to alanon this
sight truly lifts me up-the hope the support--knowing I'm not alone and the list goes
on. What a wonderful post and and following comments. It's like an early present knowing this sight will be here next year too. Love and Smiles--Dee
sight truly lifts me up-the hope the support--knowing I'm not alone and the list goes
on. What a wonderful post and and following comments. It's like an early present knowing this sight will be here next year too. Love and Smiles--Dee
Caring for the 3 little bears
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Oz
Posts: 509
DITTO! I can't begin to tell all of you how much this sight and your words, comfort, and sometime brutal honesty have helped me. I LOVE THIS PLACE! I agree, many of us found this sight in a state of panic. And, in that state of panic we found people who have been through or are going through very similar situations. And I also agree, it so wonderful to talk with people who really understand. My parents, brothers, and sister don't understand. Many of my good friends don't truly understand. I am blessed to have met such good people on this sight, many of you are my new friends. Thank you.
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
I am an odd ball
I don't fit things as you wrote them.
What I have found though once here...
People such as yourself
People who share so that others may learn and grow
People with such giving hearts and wisdom
Through those people, I have found I needed and still need to grow some more.
I have realized there was a need to understand and seek answers that I didn't know I needed.
Don't know the questions to ask because you don't see the problem yet...
I think that is where I was at.
This site has helped me grow in many areas of life.
My own sobrity. My dealing with others and their addictions. My dealing with life itself. My growth with God.
Yes jojo
Every person who comes here can learn and those of you who share back teach others.
Thank you
I don't fit things as you wrote them.
What I have found though once here...
People such as yourself
People who share so that others may learn and grow
People with such giving hearts and wisdom
Through those people, I have found I needed and still need to grow some more.
I have realized there was a need to understand and seek answers that I didn't know I needed.
Don't know the questions to ask because you don't see the problem yet...
I think that is where I was at.
This site has helped me grow in many areas of life.
My own sobrity. My dealing with others and their addictions. My dealing with life itself. My growth with God.
Yes jojo
Every person who comes here can learn and those of you who share back teach others.
Thank you
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 7
I agree with what everyone has said here. I am very green in my understanding of my AH and my co-dependency. When I feel like I want to scream or cry or run away, I come here and read that I'm not alone. That makes all the difference to me and is sometimes all I need to not loose it. I don't share the hurt in my situation because I don't want my friends and family to worry about me. This is a very safe place for me and I am utterly grateful.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: houston tx
Posts: 3
i have only been here a few weeks and i come here to remember i am not alone...and that there is light at the end of the dark tunnel...i think i found it here...
i appreciate this site, i was at a dead end and didn't know where to go...and you guys are all very special people in the eyes of the lord....
God bless you all and have a safe and happy new year
laurie
i appreciate this site, i was at a dead end and didn't know where to go...and you guys are all very special people in the eyes of the lord....
God bless you all and have a safe and happy new year
laurie
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