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I Will Not Should on Myself Saturday!

Old 07-12-2002, 12:30 PM
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I Will Not Should on Myself Saturday!

Bella Abzug reportedly kept a plaque on her desk which read "I will not should on myself today." It strikes me that "should" is probably the dirtiest word in the English language for a recovering anon. "Should" carries the overtone of bowing to other people's expectations or desires. "Should" implies prescription behavior attempting desired results. How many times have we said something like "An addict is driving me crazy. What should I do to help? What should I do to help myself?" Then we try to act on the shoulds, hoping that everything will come right if we just do what we "should" do. Just for a day, let's try to let go of all the "should". It's so much more useful to look at what's possible... "what CAN I do?", and then select from the possibilities "What do I WANT to do?" Nobody and no system has your one right answer, they can only help you explore options. When you act based on your own desires and preferences, you still may not get it all to turn out exactly as you'd hoped, but at least you have the empowering experience of exercising your own mind and will.

So for this Saturday, on the anon pages.... SHOULD is a DIRTY WORD! The anon oriented moderators Ann, Barbiedeb, Just Tired, Morning Glory and myself, have agreed to help each other and the whole gang to exorcise this lingual leach. We'll take those shoulds and turn 'em into cans, wants and wills! Living your life based on your own desires and needs and not the expectations or demands of another person, or worries about how our actions may affect another adult... that is an important focus for someone recovering from codependency.

I will not should on myself today.
I will not be should upon today.

Hugs!
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Old 07-12-2002, 06:29 PM
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"I will not should on myself today," companioned with, "I see this task. I choose to do, or not do it at this time."


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Old 07-12-2002, 06:34 PM
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"I WILL NOT "SHOULD" ON MYSELF....




BELLA IS BEAUTIFUL....YOU GO GIRL!!!!


In honour of Bella this Saturday the word "should" is proclaimed by the great Smoke as a "No-No" word on the anon board. Any use of this "S" word will be forbidden. You can say "will" you can say "did", you can say"must" and you can say "oh my what have I gotten into here", but you CANNOT say the "S" word.

Ah come on...it's only one day....
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Old 07-13-2002, 05:14 AM
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Okay - it's now "Should-less" Saturday and I will be tripping over my tongue as it heads for the "s" word, but I WILL be decisive today.

I WILL get caught up on neglected chores early, so that I CAN go out and enjoy the sunshine and do some gardening...my "recovery" garden is bursting with blooms and smells even better now that THE GARBAGE STRIKE IS OVER!!!!.

I WILL focus on doing nice things for myself today, afterall it IS Saturday and I AM worthy of having a great day.

I WILL invite my neighbour, Eileen (who is almost 90) over for an ice-tea. She loves to sit in the shade and watch me garden and my cat Toby, WHO RULES, love's Eileen's lap. Eileen was a nurse in WW2 and I swear the war was won the day she set foot in Europe. No one messes with this feisty old gal with a heart as big as Chicago, and the world is a better place because of the likes of Eileen. And I WILL give her a beautiful bouquet to take home with her when she goes for her nap.

Have a great Saturday everyone, and don't forget to be good to yourself.
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Old 07-13-2002, 06:55 AM
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I will clean my house today!!!

I will get my errands done today!!

I also will spend some time on myself since this is one of the last days of my vacation

Everyone have a great day!!!
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Old 07-13-2002, 01:00 PM
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Wow - I like this new thinking.

I MADE myself do those annoying little jobs and some laundry too, because I said I WOULD.

I had Eileen over for ice tea and she was thrilled to come and took home a lovely bouquet of flowers that I let her choose from my garden. She told me about bringing tulip bulbs home from Holland after the war and how many many years she nursed those bulbs and had tulips everywhere. Boy, I hope I have half her spunk when I am her age. Her daughter is comingf for dinner (this old gal still cooks) and she wanted flowers for her table.

And as a reward for my not saying the "S" word, I AM going to water my very dry lawns and then I AM going to have an easy night and maybe watch a movie or walk in the park.

I am going to (almost said "try" LOL)...yes I WILL hang on to this attitude for at least the whole weekend.

Hope you are all having some fum in the sun today.
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