Old 12-21-2004, 12:31 PM
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I want to go up North Christmas Day after my kids open there Christmas presents........I want to go for a few days........My brother will be at my parents Christmas day this year......and i want to be home when he is there.......

My husband is going to make this big issue, that he doesnt want me to take our daughter away from him on Christmas Day, I am not looking at it like that.........and he has the option to go with us........but he wont........he wont leave his mom on Christmas Day......

I dont think that I am asking for something huge.........It will be the first time all seven of my sibling will be together in years for Christmas........One is coming from Holland, One is coming from Hale, My sister is home from Kentucky, my brother is now home from Tennessee.....I will be coming from the Detroit area..........I really want to go........after the kids open presents......I really want to be there....with everyone........I cant think of one good reason to stay home...(besides my H choosing not to go and he will be angry that I am taking our daughter with me)

I was going to go after Christmas is over, but I will miss my sister from Holland, and I will miss my brother being at my parents house.......
Old 12-21-2004, 01:34 PM
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Hi Gracey -
You don't need our permission or anyone's permission to do what you really want to do. You are lucky if you know what you want - that is always the hardest part for me to figure out.

If you want to go, GO. You only get one life. Do what you want with it.
Hugs - L
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Old 12-21-2004, 04:25 PM
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Go, you already know you want to go. H can go or not, but you have one shot to visit with all siblings and I hope you take it. Don't let him make an issue out of it, just tell him it is going to happen and you hope he will go with you, if not he can spend the day with his mom. I truly hope you go and enjoy yourself. As we get older the times we have with extended family becomes so rare a gift I hope you take advantage of the opportunity. It will be a gift to your daughter as well.
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Old 12-21-2004, 05:06 PM
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Goooooooo I did it on Thanksgiving. It had been years since I could enjoy being with my family and not worry what embarrassment the AH was bringing. I truely enjoyed myself and he got over it. YOU will regret it if you don't go.
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Old 12-21-2004, 06:26 PM
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Can you spend some time with your MIL on Christmas Eve or invite her over to watch the kids open their presents? You are certainly entitled to spend Christmas with your own family for a change but if you at least ask your MIL to share some of the holiday with you then you would probably feel less guilty and maybe your husband wouldn't give you such a hard time about it.
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Old 12-21-2004, 07:30 PM
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Posts: 1,194 North. Be with your family. You don't know the next time all of you will be together again for such a festive affair. Go and enjoy every moment and absorb all the love that will be there for you.

Your AH and MIL will still be there when you get back. And should it become uncomfortable, you'll have your wonderful memories of your Christmas with your family.

Blessings, Kathy
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Old 12-21-2004, 08:04 PM
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So how many of us need to tell you to GO GO GO GO
Do something for YOU this time.
When will you get another chance to do this,not for a long time
and take your youngest daughter,
to heck with AH and MIL
Let us know how your trip goes.
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Old 12-21-2004, 10:18 PM
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Sounds unanimous--go--let the AH and the MIL enjoy them selves together (if thats
thier choice) and you take your daughter and go. This is a huge opportunity to be
with all of your family. Nothing is ever promised to us--grab this opportunity. Enjoy
every moment. Smiles--Dee
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Old 12-22-2004, 02:27 AM
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Why do you need permission to go North to see your family..who haven't been together in a long while? As everyone else has said...GO..GO..GO. You may never see all your family together again. One never knows what the future holds.
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Old 12-22-2004, 02:30 AM
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You have listed lots of great reasons for going and one codie reason for not going. This is your life, remember.

I hope you make the right decision for YOU and have a wonderful time.


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Old 12-22-2004, 05:29 AM
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(((gracey))) ditto above - i hope you make the decision that feels right for you and your situation. have a safe trip!
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Old 12-22-2004, 07:59 AM
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I went to a family meeting with my ASO the other night. The subject of Christmas was a hot topic. She asked the recovering A's in the group their feelings about the holidays and family get togethers. Some complained that they didn't even want to go with their SO's to the get togethers for fear of ridicule or temptations of alcohol being there. The social worker who was leading this group said " Don't go then, do whatever you want. If you are uncomfortable just leave, DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO TO MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY." I had mixed emotions to that whole thing. First of all they are already good at doing what they want. Haven't they spent enough time already doing just that! Secondly, what is wrong with bucking up and doing something for your SO for a change even if it makes you a bit uncomfortable, my god haven't we done a million things out of love for our A that has made us uncomfortable. I say go to see your family, your AH will be there when you get back. Family will always be there for you, cherish the fact that you will all be together for a holiday. He will just have to get over it.
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Old 12-22-2004, 08:13 AM
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Hi Gracey!!!! Have you decided yet???

You know what I'll say - GO, go FOR your daughter - let her see what a truly, loving healthy family does on a holiday!

Merry Christmas sweetie!
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Old 12-22-2004, 06:13 PM
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May it be
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You GO Go Go... be with your family. One year, when all my family could have been together and my exH (he was the dry drunk) didn't want to go. And I stayed behind and spent that Christmas with him.... sadly I regret that. I ended up making the quickest meal there was, and sketched and watercolored small birds. Another Christmas didn't ever come that our whole family was together... He went to my mother's for Christmas before that, but he didn't enjoy it, because he wasn't the center of attention... as mentioned how self centered....
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Old 12-22-2004, 07:04 PM
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Gracey, I have 3 siblings. One is Alabama, one in Georgia and one in N. Carolina. I and my parents are/were in the midwest. Five years ago, they ALL came here for Christmas. It was the first time we had all been together is ten years! IT WAS AWESOME! and, it happened to be the last time we were all together before my mom passed away. WE HAD A BLAST. DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! And, I agree with the above, invite MIL over Christmas morning to watch kids open presents or Christmas Eve, and if she chooses not to, let her and your H do whatever the heck they want. Doesn't your H understand that you want your siblings to see their niece? Obviously not. Have a great Christmas!
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Old 12-22-2004, 08:38 PM
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Gracey - I have to encourage you to follow your heart on this one. You have grown so much. I know you will make the right decision for you.
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Old 12-22-2004, 09:34 PM
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Old 12-26-2004, 12:07 PM
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I havent been able to get on line..........I called in work on Wednesday because I was sick.........the office was closed on Thursday due to sever weather........(lucky for me cause I was still sick...I am actually feeling mostly better now.........and I am on line and I am at my mom's house.

I was so happy to see my brother at my parents........this is a true miracle....I am still here and I dont know when I am going to go home....

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