Herewego7

My bf of 2 years who lives with alcohol addiction broke up with me and said we weren’t really together. We had been discussing moving in together with his child very recently and always said we loved each other and were very clearly together. For quite a while. He is now staying something was always missing and we were just more than friends but not fully together and we never called each other one another’s bf gf (we did). He says he wanted it to work because I’m amazing and great and his absolute best friend but something was missing but he quit his good job for work minimum wage and met someone there and says he just instantly fell in love. They’re together still now it’s been a month or so and ‘em Hmmmmmmm he tells me he’s never been happier but he’s drunk when telling me this. He wants nothing to change between us except no romantic stuff but he wants to be good friends and me to come to him with anything and I can still see his daughter but his new gf can’t know because she doesn’t want him to talk to me. Apparently he told her I’m a really good friend he casually saw on and off. I’m devastated. Does he really think this? Two years and talks or marriage and calling me and his daughter his little family and now he’s saying we were never together. And is with someone else and he just me he claims to feel like he never has before with. I’m beyond myself. Did I really make up the last two years in my head?

SparkleKitty

No, you didn't make anything up in your head. This is addiction.

This is who he is right now. You get to decide if you want him in your life, but do not decide under the illusion that he will change.

You are worth more what he is capable of giving.

Angrylove

No, you didn’t. I too am in the beginning process of grieving the individual I fell in love with but the alcohol changed so much that he left, after 13 years and a child he got a rental, took his clothes and walked…as if it was my fault. It literally changed who he was down to his core. No love, zero compassion, careless, and finally gone. I have zero contact besides he picks my son up on sundays. This was someone I saw EVERY day and it has been nearly 1 month without a hi, bye or f*** you. I feel sad and angry and guilty everyday, the latter I feel when I forget that he is an alcoholic, he is court ordered to stop drinking, has he stopped? I would not know, but I truly never expect an ounce of a remorse or apology from him as he apparently thinks I “ruined” his life. I can’t say it gets easier, YET…. But alcohol destroyed him. I am sad I can’t revel in his recovery. Be glad it was only 2 years… I should have left 5 years ago but I never knew it would get as bad as it did. I crave him, but I know he is gone…. The man he was disappeared in a bottle and now it is one day at a time.

Seren

Hello Herewego7, and welcome!

How are you doing? Being involved with someone who is an active alcoholic is mind-bending.