Intervention
 

My question is do interventions work? My A is 36 years old. He was raised by his mother and grandmother. MY A and I were seperated for a month, we just got back together if you can call it that. He said the night we started talking again, that he needs to know that I will be there for him, even if he slips and has a drink. I said I would and I would also work with him to be sober again. Well since that night he has drank every night. For at least one year he was sober, but since I left him and he had job issues, he has fallen off the wagon.
I spoke to his mother the other day and she thought of two things, we do an intervention with 3 family memebers and myself and 2 AA people, or she shows up with his father to talk to him. Mind you his father is an A and was never there for him. He always says how much he hates his father, but I just can't believe all the things he hates about him, he has become.
I guess my question is, do either of the above work?????

Thanks for listening...

Hi Littleone

I honestly don't know from experience if interventions work. I would guess that some do. In my experience, nothing helped with my A until HE was ready for help. Until he was ready, he didn't hear a word anyone said. It is possible that hearing words from someone in the same position as him could help him "see the light" but again, I would think he needs to want to see the light.

I truly hope things work out for you whatever you may decide to do. Keep posting and look out for yourself. No matter how much we love them, we can't do it for them but we do have control over having a happy life for ourselves.

Many hugs.
Love,
Debbie

Hi Little One!

I would never have tried an intervention on Dino. He already knew he had a problem. He already felt singled out and ganged up on. It sounds to me like the addict in your life also already knows he has a problem. Also that he is aware that the family knows he has a problem. Interventions are designed to help the addict become aware, and a well planned one has a rehab bed waiting.

Go to this site... www.intervention.com to find out more about professionally run interventions. I will also ask a couple of the other moderators who have some experience with intervention to address your post.

Hugs,
Smoke

thanks
 

Thanks Smoke, any info you can find out would be helpful. You are right, he knows he has a problem, and is guilt ridden about it. He has 3 dui's and the other night when he stopped over at my place he said he only had 3 beers....(like that isn't bad enough)
Even when he is drunk he keeps saying how much he hates it. How he doesn't want to do it......If he is saying those things do you think there is any hope? I keep thinking how he quit for a year, that there is a possibility that he will wake up again and do it for good this time.
The problem also is he has friends who thinks he can socially drink......whatever. He always said when he was sober one is too many and 100 is not enough....I just wish the light bulb would go off in his head....

I have asked many counselors about an intervention for my A and they all gave me a "no". I was angry with that answer because I always think I can FIX him. He was sober for five years....and now is really into heavy drinking. So I don't know...but I am learning that unless they go and get the help they need themselves we are truly powerless over them! I hope you have good luck
Love Kitty

Hi Little One,

Smoke has given you an excellent link:
Intervention

If you visit that site, let the information digest and follow the suggestion, you and the significant people who have agreed to participate in the intervention process will be equipped.

Fortunately for your husband, you want to help. i understand how confusing all this can be. Furthermore, your husband does not seem willing to accept help from your or anyone else. In fact, it would not surprise me if he loudly denies that a problem exist, or even blames you or his father!

Many folks believe that there is nothing they can do except wait for the person to "hit bottom" and then try to pick up the pieces. I believe the exact opposite is true. Waiting is too dangerous. It is also cruel. It allows an already bad situation to get worse. If a friend wanted to jump off a bridge, would you let him or her do it before you reached out a hand to stop them? Of course not; and neither must you stand by and watch a chemically dependent person plumb the depths of suffering and despair before doing something about it. You don't have to bide your time until your family breaks up, or your husband is fired from his job, or kills someone in a car accident. You can reach out now... you have begun the process by coming here, and it sounds like you have the support of the significant people in his life already. You are well ahead of where many families I counsel are regarding this topic.

The important thing is to take action -- and soon. By definition, a chemically dependent person is out of touch with reality. Through the intervention process, you can play an important role in moving your husband back toward reality, recovery, and a richer, fuller, longer life.

Thousands of chemically dependent persons are alive and well today as proof that it works.

In closing, unless a chemically dependent person gets help, he or she will die prematurely. Chemical dependency is a disease that kills. It is also a disease from which people can and do recover. I am one of them.

God Bless you,

DenF.