timj120

So it's been awhile since I've posted here on the forum. I have been attending al-anon meetings weekly for about 6 weeks now. What I'm struggling with, and have been unable to find good information on, is the whole concept of a higher power of our understanding.

I'm not looking to make this into a religious discussion, but I am an atheist. I do not believe in God, I'm also agnostic meaning I'm not sure if a god exists.

So where does this leave me? Steps 2 & 3 really trip me up, as it pertains to my beliefs.

1. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
2. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

I understand how this applies to anyone who believes in the concept of God. But what does this mean for people like me? Being powerless over alcohol is an easy concept to grasp, but if I don't believe in a higher power, to whom or what do I turn my will and life over to?

Please understand, I'm not of the belief that there is nothing greater than myself. But if there's nothing to pray to and receive spiritual guidance from, how am I able to turn my will and life over to something that I do not believe exists?

This isn't meant as a critique of anyone who does believe, part of me is jealous that I don't believe and cannot turn to that higher power in times of struggle.

Can anyone relate to this challenge? How does an atheist leverage steps 2 & 3?

Appreciate any thoughts.

nez

Step two doesn't say anything about praying, just coming to believe in a power greater than ourselves. I started with a belief in the power of the group as being greater than myself, because in the rooms I could see visible proof of people accomplishing what I couldn't seem to do on my own. To turn my will and my life over to this power, I simply started following the suggestions I heard and read; and also started working the steps.

trailmix

I don't believe it's ever about turning your will or life over to anyone or anything (that's much more "church" or cult than Al Anon).

So what is greater?

My understanding is that your "higher power" can be anything or anyone. Perhaps your personal hp is your unconscious mind or a tree or the universe in general.

I personally like the idea of the universe.

sage1969

What are your ideas about your higher self? There are thoughts about the consciousness that you feel within your body, and a connection to a consciousness that exists outside your body, your higher self (there are neurophysiological theories that consciousness does not exist in the brain at all). Many times I find that when I let go of a problem or difficulty from my conscious thinking, I know a solution will present itself (from my unconscious self? my higher self?). I think it's possible that this is the piece of ourselves that we connect with when we are meditating or dreaming, or letting go of the critical, ego part of us that is always (over)thinking . . .

Could you consider reframing those steps 2 and 3 to rely on your higher self, which being part of you, only has your best interests in mind?

nez

I am with you on that one.

dandylion

tim......facebook has a strong atheist alcoholic group. Very friendly and welcoming people.I imagine that they could be very helpful, to you, on this matter.

Here is a thought-----Surely, when you were a youngeer person----before you even ever met your wife----you have faced challenges of one sort, or a nother.
During those times, where did you draw your strength from, during those times?

PeacefulWater12

There are lots of versions of the 12 steps you can use in Al-anon or any of the 12 step programs.

These are the ones I use. They work the same as the original version just a different wording.

Proactive12steps-List

ToughChoices

I am a believer who questions. I can absolutely understand struggling with steps 2 and 3.

As far as believing in a power greater than myself for restoration, I use God WITH my AA group. In my case, addiction was powerful enough that I couldn't give it over to God on my own. The strength, experience, and peace of my group is a Higher Power by itself. It shows that those who work together to help each other overcome a common problem are capable of much more success than those who attempt to rely solely on self-will.

Turning my will and life over to my AA group as my higher power means listening to the wisdom of those who came before me. It is an admission that doing things "my way" (hunker down, pass judgement, read a lot as a means of delaying necessary action, complain and obsess, etc...) was making a mess of my life. Acknowledging that I benefit from humbly seeking the companionship and sage advice of those whose lives have blossomed in recovery means that I am turning my life over.

Belief in God helps me. But it did not get me clean. My AA group did/does that.

Do you have a copy of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous? Chapter 4 is entitled, "We Agnostics", and it addresses these concerns specifically (granted, with a bit of a "if you just use the group as a HP for NOW, eventually you'll probably find a God of your own understanding" bent to it at the end). Take what you like. Leave the rest. 😁

Take care!
-TC

bogisb

*- Hi timj 120

You might like to consider Agnostic, Atheist 12 steps

2. Came to accept and to understand that we needed strengths beyond our awareness and resources to restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of the A.A. program.

Here the strengths and resources come with help from peers, meetings and litterature.

You can find secular, atheist, 12 steps : go see toronto agnostics website

There are now AA meetings for agnostics and atheists , go see :AA agnostica website

Sueby

I consider my higher power to be me. Which may not make sense, but it’s the person I want to be that I call on when needed and it makes me realize that I can get through difficult times by believing in myself, not a deity.

So I guess with each obstacle or positive occurrence, I’m turning myself over to a better me and letting that person now take over from the old me.

When I read what I typed, it sounds hooky, so I’m not sure I’m explaining it properly lol.