How you handle Money Issues.....
 

My AH hasn't work since July - I work full-time and all monies go directly into my own account...including my salary.
When he ask for cash for getting petrol for the car or for a newspaper of if we need some groceries, I just hand it over and hope he will use it for whatever he asked it for - sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn't. i do not trust him with money as he has taken money from my purse before and had written cheques....with nothing to pay for them.
So i guess my question is ....do I refuse to give him money when he asks - or should I just hand it out & hope for the best - after all - It is not my problem if he mis-uses it and I can't control what he does with it....RIGHT?????

This is a good question! I have struggled with my AH working, not working for years! I finally told him a few weeks ago that he is going to be responsible for X amount of our bills and whatever is left, he can spend and open his own account - and I will do the same. He gets money from his parents for his b-day and Xmas, so he is set for a while, but when it runs out....if he doesn't have the money, than I'm not giving him sh** (sorry). when he gets desperate enough, he can find a job. I will get a divorce if he can't make his ends of the bills. I've been very clear about that. If I were you, I would absolutely tell him no. If you want to pay for his gas, I'd go with him to the gas store. I'd give him a grocery list and exactly the amount of money necessary to get what's on the list, and the first time he blew it - that would be it! I've made my AH give me back all our credit cards too. At one point in time, I thought about getting my AH one of those 7-11 cards (for coffee or a coke or whatever) and pre-paying for like $20 a month, and that being all I would give him. it hasn't come to that, but if it does - I might do that, but I might not. These days of him using my money for beer while he sits around on his arse, are over!

I agree with Peaches. At first when my AH was working his check was deposited in my account and I'd pay the bills and give him money to use for gas and whatever. It never seemed to get spent on gas so I'd end up giving him more. I got sick of it. He opened his own account and his money goes into it. His bills (cell phone and whatever) are his responsibility and he has to buy the groceries. When we go out whoever has the money usually pays. That works out well for us. I do not give him money for any reason whatsoever. It stopped me from being bitter about what he spent it on. He's not working right now and his money is almost gone. What he does for money after that is his problem, not mine. As long as my bills are paid then money is not an issue. I have also told him that if he doesn't get a job (he's currently looking and interviewing) then I'm going to have some hard decisions to make because if I'm doing it all alone then I may as well be alone.

Buster,
I think if you are having a hard time trusting him right now, you should really monitor what he uses the money for. Ask questions and ask for receipts, and when he doesn't bring them back to you, that trust will be lost. Anyone can get a receipt for anything, so he really shouldn't have any excuses!
But i don't really think yoyu should be handing out YOUR hard earned money when you don't really know if he's getting what he says. I say, test him a couple times, see if he brings back what he says he's going to, or a receipt, that way he will have the chance to actually BUILD or BREAK trust with you.
Let us know how it goes...

Lotsa Love
T